


Bunker Rules

by WritingBRB



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in the Bunker, Crack, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Men of Letters Bunker, Team Free Will
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 20:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 118
Words: 59,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4363331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingBRB/pseuds/WritingBRB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam, Dean, and Castiel come across a room with nothing but rules written on the walls by the former Men of Letters they decide to make a list of rules of their own. </p><p>Suggestions for rules welcome!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Respect Your Elders

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So given the angsty nature of my other fics I thought it was time for something different. The Bunker is one of my favourite things about Supernatural, and I would totally watch a sitcom just about the boys living there. So I had this idea based on other fandoms, and I'm hoping you find some humour in it. Each rule will have a 300 to 500 word drabble explaining why exactly it is not allowed XD I have 50 of these babies already written, but I would love your suggestions! I will hopefully update often. This is a little introduction chapter. I hope you enjoy!

**01\. I will not use the ‘I’m older than you’ excuse to win an argument - it is irrelevant.**

"Sam, is this really necessary?" Dean complained for the umpteenth time that morning. 

He, his younger brother, and Castiel were on their way down to the bowels of the bunker where they had found the 'dungeon.' There were a few other rooms down there they were yet to look in. 

"Dean, this place has so many rooms and we haven't even had time to check most of them. How can you not be excited at the prospect of exploring them all?" 

"Because I'm not a freakin' nerd!" 

"I find it all rather fascinating, Sam" Castiel chimed into the incessant bickering.

"Thank you, Castiel."

"Oh, yeah, 'cause Cas isn't a real advocate for the dorky" Dean mumbled sarcastically. 

"Dean, shut it." 

"Hey, you can't say that to me!" The older Winchester was evidently offended.

"I'm your big brother that means you have to respect me and..." 

He was cut off when Sam sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. 

"Seriously? The I'm older than you speech?" 

"It's a perfectly valid speech" Dean mumbled. "Being older has got to have some perks." 

"How exactly does one benefit from being older?" Castiel asked curiously. 

"Well, the gist is that Dean believes I should do whatever he wants because he's the oldest and therefore obtains more power than me." 

"Damn straight." 

"Actually, in this situation I think you'll find I am many millennia older than you, Dean" Castiel pointed out. 

"But that's not fair!" Dean argued. 

"No human can be older than you." 

"Even so, Jimmy Novak is still older..." 

"Guys, enough..." Sam pleaded as they finally reached the last door. 

It would have been hard to miss if it weren't for the hunter's keen eye as it faded well into the wall. It was rather heavy and groaned when Sam pushed it opened. 

The room was pitch black inside so Sam felt across the wall until he found a light switch. When he flicked it on the room was revealed to be quite bare in terms of furniture, with only one rotting wooden table and a couple of fold up metal chairs in the centre. What was interesting though was the writing decorating the walls. It was quite faded, but there were various scribblings and doodles all over the place. 

"What is all this stuff?" Dean pondered aloud as he went to read some. "Number fifty six; do not hold baseball games inside...Larry Ganem." 

Castiel wondered over to the wall too and picked another line of writing. 

"Number ninety eight; do not bring plants in for questioning regarding demon attacks. Cuthbert Sinclair. These all appear the be rules written by the men of letters."

"Yeah, like stuff they're not allowed to do in the bunker" Dean said as he read a few more with a grin. 

"Hey, Dean, look" Sam said with a note of amusement as he pointed to another rule on the far wall. "I think Grandpa wrote this one..." 

Dean went over to join his brother and read aloud: "Do not bring whiskey to a meeting unless there is enough for everyone. Signed Henry Winchester. "These guys sure seemed to have some wild times" he said as he read some more. "Some of these are hilarious." 

"Yes. I'd very much like to know the stories behind them" Castiel commented. 

"I think we should uphold the tradition" Sam said with an eager grin. "I'll be right back..." 

The younger Winchester hurried out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a marker pen. He grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it over to a fairly blank wall. He stood up on the chair and proceeded to write something in big capital letters before underlining it. 

"Bunker No-Nos" Dean read out. "What are you, eight?" 

"No. We are going to create a new modernised list of our own" Sam said as he continued to write something else. "Any rule that goes on this wall cannot be broken without penalty, and anyone can make a rule with good reason, but can also have a rule made about them." 

"That sounds orderly" Castiel piped up. "I like it." 

"It really doesn't matter if I object does it?" Dean deadpanned. 

"No it does not" Sam replied. 

"But I'm older so..." 

"Ah-ah-ah" Sam said waving a finger at his brother before he got down off the chair and pointed up at what he had written. 

"I will not use the I’m older than you excuse to win an argument – it is irrelevant" Dean read and then glared at his brother who was beaming at him teasingly. “

A good suggestion, Sam” Castiel said. 

Dean shot the angel a look of distain too. “Okay, fine, you wanna do this, let's do this..."


	2. Eat Your Vege

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! So, as these take me no time to write at all I am hoping to add a new rule every day for the foreseeable future. Thank you to everyone who has read/sent Kudos already ^_^ Todays rule comes via from the suggestion of ArtistKurai. Thank you so much my dearest! I hope you like it :)

**02\. All vegetables must be accompanied by meat (Dean Winchester)**

Castiel perplexedly observed the way Dean tensed as Sam placed the bowl down in front of him. Sam had offered to cook dinner that evening and it had been apparent Dean was dubious from the start. Now it looked like the older Winchester might be sick.

"Damn I left my phone upstairs" Sam said as he patted his pockets. "Jody is supposed calling me about something. I'll be right back." 

The younger Winchester bounded up the stairs to retrieve the device. Dean leaned back to listen until his brother had definitely gone and the turned to Castiel with a frantic expression.

"Cas, you gotta help me!" He hissed desperately. "I have seen some disgusting things in my time ganking fuglies but this is definitely up there with the worst."

Castiel's frown deepened; he didn't understand.

"Dean, it's vegetable stew."

"Exactly! Where's the meat? Vegetables should be a side dish at most. Is Sam trying to kill me!?”

"I would think not, hence why there is a bowl of vegetables in front of you and not fatty meat" Castiel pointed out.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Look, can you just give me a hand and eat some, please?" 

"You know I don't eat." 

"Well try!" Dean exclaimed. His face then took a more thoughtful pose. "Have you ever tried? Where does it go?" His eyes widened as he had a sudden exciting thought. "Is your stomach a black hole?"

"No" Castiel replied bluntly. "I'm sorry, Dean, but Sam thinks you need your vegetables."

"Oh, c'mon, Cas!" The hunter whined. "If you could fit a whole ancient stone tablet in your gut then you can eat a few damn carrots!"

Castiel gave him an unimpressed look but remained resilient. 

"No, I don't want to get in trouble with Sam." 

Dean groaned as he slumped back in his chair and flicked at a piece of broccoli with his fork. 

"Kiss ass" he mumbled.

"Dean, your little brother has gone to the effort of making a meal. The least you could do is try it" Castiel scolded.

Dean sighed; he supposed the angel was right.

When he heard Sam coming back down the stairs the older Winchester closed his eyes and quickly shoved a spoonful of green stuff into his mouth with a grimace. He swallowed it with a gulp.

“So, what do you think?” Sam asked brightly as he took a seat opposite his brother.

“So good” Dean replied with a slightly pained tone.

“Was that a lie?”

“Complete bull crap.”

Sam sighed. “Well, that’s a shame because I got you this for desert.” 

He went over to the fridge and pulled out a box. Dean’s eyes widened like saucers. 

“Is that…?”

“Yup, pecan pie. However, you only get a slice if you eat your stew.”

“I’m not a child, Sam” Dean said indignantly. Sam and Castiel continued to stare at him expectantly. “Fine.” He huffed as he picked up his fork again. “But I’m going to make sure this doesn’t happen again!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really awesome suggestion and fun to write! Please don’t hesitate to send 1 or 100 rules if you want to XD I’d love to hear them :) x


	3. It's All In The Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Sweet Peas! How are you all today? Randomskittles suggested that I make a rule about Sam’s hair. Luckily I had one prepared just for this occasion ;) Thanks for the suggestion lovely! I hope you enjoy :)

**03\. Do not touch Sam’s hair; he will bite. (Castiel)**

When Dean and Castiel arrived home from food shopping that evening Dean was amused to find his little brother slumped over the table taking a nap after an intense few hours of research. He’d been reading through books that looked to be hundreds of years old with layers of dust; Dean probably would have passed out from boredom too. 

The older Winchester placed the grocery bags he was carrying down on the table and went to stand behind his brother. Castiel observed the interaction curiously with his notorious head tilt.

“Hey, maybe now I should get my clippers” Dean teased as he gently ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. His younger brother made a sound of disproval and shuffled a little but he did not wake up. 

“I don’t think that is a good idea, Dean” Castiel stated. 

“Why not?” Dean scoffed. “Trust me; he would thank me later when he got this mop off his head.” 

“I thought it was hair?” Castiel frowned.

“It’s a metaphor, Cas.” 

“Oh.”

“I mean look at this…I could make a ponytail out of this, Samantha” he said pulling back his brother’s hair a little too tight and Sam startled awake. 

There was a blur of movement as Sam’s head whipped around and he sunk his teeth into his older brother’s hand. Dean let out a yelp of pain before recoiling and waving his newly injured appendage around.

“I told you it was a bad idea” Castiel mumbled.

“What the hell, Sam!?” Dean yelled.

“I’m sorry, but I told you to stay away from my hair! And you surprised me!” Sam tried to defend himself.

“I am _bleeding_ , Sam” Dean seethed as he shoved his hand in his brother’s face to show off the crescent shaped wound that did indeed have crimson droplets oozing out of it.

“You have impressively sharp teeth, Sam” Castiel commented. 

“Don’t _compliment_ him!” Dean said shooting the former angel a look. “I’m going to need stitches!”

“I’m sorry, Dean” Sam said, although it was obvious he was trying to suppress a smile. “Come on, I’ll sort you out.” 

“I should go and write this down on the wall” Castiel said. 

“Yes, let people heed my warning” Sam said with a grin which faded when he looked back at his brother’s thoroughly disapproving expression.

“I can’t believe you friggin’ _bit_ me.” It was apparent Dean was still in shock.

“Well, it’s nowhere near the worst thing I’ve ever done to you. I mean there was the whole Ruby thing…and the soulless thing….” Sam mumbled as he started to clean the wound.

“Seriously? You think now is the time to remind me of all that?” Dean asked.

“I’m just saying. It’s really nothing to get so upset about in comparison.”

Dean gave an almost feral growl. Sam decided it was best to stop talking after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember so send me your suggestions I would really love to receive a bunch! You can be as vague or as specific as you like. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :) xx


	4. Voice Of An Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Morning/ evening everyone! I hope you are well :) Today’s rule comes via the gorgeous VickyWinchester who suggested a rule about singing in the shower. I hope you like it! X

**04\. Singing in the shower is prohibited. It creates unnecessary stress for others. (Castiel)**

Castiel was walking past the bathroom when he heard what sounded like someone crying out in distress. It was Sam and he seemed like he might be in pain and this switched the angel into defence mode. 

“Sam?” Castiel called as he tried to open the door but it was locked. The younger Winchester didn’t respond and the angel became worried and panicked. “Hang on Sam!”

Castiel took a step back and summoned his blade. With one powerful kick the bathroom door flew off its hinges and the angel jumped into the room with his weapon ready for action. He did not see any threat though, just a very wet and startled looking Sam. 

The younger Winchester was looking at the angel with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. He had the shower curtain tightly wrapped around himself. 

“What the hell, Castiel!?” Sam finally exclaimed in a slightly high-pitched tone. 

“I heard noises in here that made me anxious and I thought you were in trouble” Castiel explained. 

“I was not in trouble” Sam said with a flat expression. “I was…” The younger Winchester seemed to grow embarrassed as he lowered his head to look at the tiles and a tint of red flushed his cheeks. “I was just singing, okay?” he mumbled.

Castiel paused to process this. “Oh.” The angel tried to discretely hide his blade behind his back. Sam rolled his eyes at the weak attempt. “My apologies. It appears I slightly overreacted.”

_“Slightly?”_ Sam repeated incredulously. “You kicked the damn door in!”

Castiel stepped to the side and looked gingerly down at the shattered wood which now lay across the floor. 

“Yes, that is a thing that happened” he said with a sheepish grimace. “But I assure you I had good intentions!” he argued.

Sam looked like he was about to start yelling but Dean walked past at that moment. He lazily glanced into the room before walking passed, but then did a double take as he came back and looked at the empty doorframe with a confused frown.

“What the hell happened here?” he asked. When he saw the weapon behind Castiel’s back and Sam awkwardly stood in the shower he put two and two together. “Aah, was he singing?” he asked with a knowing nod.

“Yes” Castiel replied.

“Yup. I too have fought the urge to kick doors down for the same reason.”

Sam had had enough at this stage. He wrapped a towel around his waist and got out of the shower. 

“Assholes” he mumbled as he stormed passed them.

“Oh, and FYI I feel that as your friend it’s my duty to tell you that I’ve heard you singing too and that voice of an angel thing is bull crap” Dean told Castiel.

“This isn’t my true voice” the angel reminded him. 

“Well, thank god for that” Dean said as he patted Castiel on the shoulder and then left. 

Castiel sighed; now he has to clean up this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Sam, I do love you! XD Cas is just naïve. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and thank you so much for the awesome suggestions coming in so far, I can’t wait to work on them all! Please do keep them coming :) x


	5. For The Love Of Pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello beautiful darlings! Today’s rule is the suggestion of SV who sent me a few ideas, and I’ve decided to start with a rule about Pie. Also just to mention Castiel is inconsistently human or angel in these stories; I just decide what I think fits best. I hope you enjoy!

**05\. Thou shalt not steal another man’s pie. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean grinned widely to himself and rubbed his hands with anticipation as he placed the freshly baked pecan pie down on the table in its still pristine box. 

After completing a hard hunt which had taken a few days the older Winchester had decided that he deserved a reward for himself - no one was paying him after all. He had got up early to drive to a bakery in the town near the bunker which always had fresh produce in the mornings. 

Rummaging around in the cupboards Dean was disgruntled to find there were no clean dishes left and looked up at the dirty stack of plates on the side with a heavy sigh. 

"I do all the cooking and now they expect me to do all the washing up..." he grumbled to himself as he rolled up his sleeves and started to fill the sink with water.

Not one to only do half a job Dean proceeded to clean every dish singing various rock ballads to himself the whole time. When he was done he smiled proudly to himself before picking out a plate and spinning around. His face fell into a confused frown when he saw the pie box open and a sizable slice missing. 

"What the..." he mumbled, rushing over to the table and picking up the box. He checked underneath it for reasons he wasn't quite sure of.

Still frowning Dean placed the box back down and went over to boil some water. He waited patiently for the kettle and then prepared a rich steaming cup of coffee. When he turned around again Dean's mouth fell slightly a gape as he saw yet another chunk of his pie missing. 

"Sam! Cas!" He yelled as he stormed up the stairs.

Dean was appalled the find his brother and their best friend sat at the big table eating his pie and chatting like they hadn't just committed a crime. 

"Hello, Dean" Castiel was the first to notice his presence. "This pie is delicious." 

"Oh, really? I wouldn't know" Dean replied with a glare. 

"Sharing is caring, Dean" Sam said with a smug look as he took another bite. 

"Well stealing certainly isn't!" Dean accused. 

"Oh, relax" Sam told him. "Do you remember what you use to tell me when I was picky with my food as a kid?" 

"You're still picky" Dean stated and Sam looked at him pointedly. The elder Winchester rolled his eyes. "You’ve got two options; eat it or leave it." 

Sam nodded. “Right, and you left it out in the open so Castiel and I ate it.”

“It was not fair gain!” Dean exclaimed.

“That was not made clear” Sam argued. 

“Oh, I’m _sorry_. I’ll put up a freakin’ sign next time!” Dean said sarcastically as he threw his arms up in the air with exasperation.

“That would be very helpful, thank you” Castiel said seriously. 

Dean’s jaw dropped and he left the room before he said something he would regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the suggestions so far. I would love some more!


	6. Porn With Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning my precious bambinos! I hope you are well. Today’s rule is from a mixture of suggestions. A Guest reviewer suggested a rule about porn and VickyWinchester suggested one about Sam’s laptop. I thought it would be interesting to combine the two ;) I hope you like it!

**06\. Do not ‘borrow’ Sam’s laptop for ‘educational purposes’. (Sam Winchester)**

Dean and Castiel were sat at the large table in the main hall of the bunker one morning eating breakfast. Dean was absentmindedly shovelling pancake into his mouth as he scanned the newspaper for a possible case, and Castiel concentrated on scooping up his cereal and frowning with frustration when some of it fell off the spoon.

The tranquil atmosphere was broken when Sam stormed over to them and placed his laptop down in front of Dean.

“Good morning to you too” The older Winchester mumbled sarcastically.

“You stole my laptop again to watch porn and now it has a virus!” Sam angrily accused his brother.

It was well known that Sam’s laptop was his most prized possession and there would be consequences for messing with it.

“Okay, first of all if I do take your laptop it is borrowing, not stealing” Dean defended himself. “Secondly, I do not use it to watch porn; I assure you it is purely for educational purposes.”

 _“Educational purposes?”_ Sam repeated with obvious disbelief.

“Yes. Plus, I know where the good sites are. There’s no way that virus is my fault.”

“Well, all I know is it wasn’t there last night and now this morning…”

“Wait, last night? I haven’t taken…borrowed, your laptop in days.”

There was a confused pause as the brothers looked at each other and then the subtle clinking of metal against ceramic reminded them Castiel was still in the room. They simultaneously turned to look at the former angel who suddenly found the contents of his bowl very interesting indeed. Castiel tried to have a discrete look up when he realised the conversation had turned silent and saw that Sam was looking at him expectantly with folded arms  
.  
“I assure you it wasn’t for the purposes you’re thinking of” Castiel muttered. “I simply found the narrative of the first film compelling and so wanted to know what happened to the pizza man next.”

“Hang on!” Dean interrupted with a slightly confused frown. “There’s a sequel?” 

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed. 

“I’m sorry, Sam” Castiel replied sheepishly as he finally dared to meet the younger Winchester’s eyes. “But as Dean said, it was also very educational for me. I don’t know a lot about sex and…”

“Okay, okay!” Sam interrupted holding his arms out in surrender. “I will actually take you to buy your own laptop today so you can do whatever you want with it.”

“Really?” Castiel asked excitedly.

“Wait! He steals your computer to watch porn and gets a free laptop out of it?!” Dean asked incredulously.

“Yes, if it means stuff like this doesn’t happen again, and that goes for you too” Sam added with a glare at his brother.

“But I didn’t even..!”

“C’mon, Sam!” Castiel said impatiently as he started to drag the younger Winchester towards the door.

Sam let himself be led away but made sure to say, “I’ll be writing a rule when I get back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve loved suggestions so far! Don’t be afraid to send in as many as you like :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading xx


	7. Sleep Is For The Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello little ducklings! How are you all? Today’s rule is one of my own but I will get back to suggestions tomorrow I promise! I hope you like it all the same :) x

**07\. Do not enter other peoples’ rooms in-between 11 pm – 11 am. (Dean Winchester)**

When Dean opened his eyes he was met by a dark silhouette towering over his bed. The older Winchester cried out with shock as he flicked on his bedside lamp and pulled his gun out from under his pillow. When the intruder was revealed Dean growled with frustration and stuffed the weapon back into its place.

“Dammit, Castiel

The angel tilted his head slightly to the side and narrowed his eyes. 

“You never call me Castiel” he stated.

“That is not important right now! What are you doing in my room?!” Dean exclaimed. 

Castiel ignored the question. “Are you cold?” he asked.

Dean looked down and realised he was only wearing boxers. The hunter’s eyes widened as he scrambled to gather the sheets and pulled them up under his armpits.

“How many times do I have to tell you stop doing weird stuff like this!?” 

Castiel sighed and proceeded to sit on the edge of Dean’s bed without invitation. 

“I’m sorry, but I have been awake twenty-four seven for the past several millennia and sometimes it gets tedious” the angel explained. “I don’t know what to do with myself whilst you and Sam are sleeping."  
“Cas, you’re a freakin’ angel of the lord. Surely you have better things to be doing than breaking into my room and watching me sleep?”

“Not really, you and Sam are my only charges now. I’ve read all the books, watched all the TV series on the Netflicker…”

“Netflix.”

“That’s what I said.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. “I know you don’t need to sleep, but have you actually ever tried it? Just the thought of you being constantly up whilst we sleep freaks me out…”

Castiel seemed to consider this for a while. “Alright” he conceded and then flopped back at the end of Dean’s bed and closed his eyes. 

“Cas! You can’t just…” Dean started to complain when he realised the angel’s stomach was not moving up and down. “Cas?” When he got no response the hunter quickly jumped over and shook the angel’s shoulders. “Cas!”

The angel’s eyes shot open. “What?”

Dean sighed with relief and fell back onto his butt. “People breathe when they sleep, dumbass!”

“Oh, sorry. I don’t really need to breathe like that. I just do so you don’t become disturbed.”

“Yeah, thanks for that” Dean deadpanned.

“It’s hard to get use to…my true form doesn’t have organs.” 

“Well that’s….disturbing.”

Castiel sat up and looked at Dean with his notorious wide puppy dog eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Dean, I only came in here to make sure you were safe.”

The hunter sighed and placed a hand on the angel’s shoulder. “I know, buddy, but it’s really not necessary. No offence, but please don’t come in my room at night anymore. Besides, I think maybe it’s time you got your own room, hmm?”

Castiel smiled wider than Dean had ever seen, and the hunter couldn’t help but return the gesture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! More suggestions would be awesome xx


	8. Be Very Afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Today’s rule is the second suggestion of SV; a rule about the Impala. Not technically part of the bunker but I’m sure Dean would disagree ;) I hope you enjoy!

**08\. Reckless douchebag angels are not allowed to drive the Impala. EVER. (Dean Winchester)**

When Castiel came rushing into the bunker one afternoon he looked extremely panicked. Sam was sat at the big table on his laptop, but he immediately became concerned with why the angel looked so shaken.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” The younger Winchester asked as soon as the angel made it down the stairs. He realised that Castiel was hiding something beneath the right side of his trench coat.

“I really need your help” Castiel said. “This may well be the worst trouble I’ve ever gotten myself into.”

Sam’s eyes broadened with alarm but then he turned back to his laptop. “Alright, what are we dealing with here? Heaven or hell?”

“Neither” Castiel stated as he pulled out what was underneath his coat and placed down on the table with a thud. It looked like a random hunk of metal. “It’s Dean.”

Sam didn’t think his eyes could grow any wider, but as they did his jaw also dropped a little.

“Did that… come off… the Impala?” he asked slowly.

Castiel clenched his jaw and nodded his head jerkily. “I don’t know how it happened! I was just driving and then I heard a bang and the car shook. I pulled over and just found this in the middle of the road. Please help me fix it back on.”

“I don’t even know what it is!” Sam said as he jumped up from his seat and pointed at the part with both hands for emphasis. “So god knows how you got it to fall off.” 

He walked around the table to look at it from all angles but he still couldn’t figure it out. He ended up stood next to Cas with his arms folded across his chest.

“Why were you even driving the Impala anyway?”

“I was bored and I’ve always wanted to drive it. I thought I could just go to the next town and back. I didn’t think this would happen.”

“Well, it was nice knowing you, buddy” Sam said as he clapped the angel on the back. “We had a good run.”

Castiel looked like he might be sick if that were possible for an angel.

“Dean’s going to hurt me worse than having all those leviathan inside me, isn’t he?”

“Yup. He’s going to kill you, make a deal to bring you back, and then kill you again.”

When they heard footsteps coming down the hall the angel and hunter scrambled to stand in front of the ambiguous car part and tried not to look guilty.

“Hey, big bro!” Sam said a little too chirpily.

“Uh...hey, little…giant, brother” Dean said uncertainly. He looked at them suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing” Castiel said quickly. “And now I have to go to China for reasons not to do with this conversation.”

“Cas don-!” Sam started to exclaim but the angel disappeared.

“Sammy, what’s going on?” Dean asked again sternly. 

Sam stepped aside with a grimace. 

Dean’s face turned into one of pure rage and horror.

“CAAAAAS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I love your awesome suggestions so far. Keep ‘em coming :) xx


	9. I Saw It On TV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Unfortunately I won’t have time to write a new chapter today so here is one I prepared earlier. I will continue with prompts tomorrow. So, for now, I hope you like this one. Just to disclaim I have nothing to do with the following mentioned shows either.

**09\. The following TV shows are not suitable points of reference for research / hunting tips: _‘Grimm’, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, ‘Charmed’. (List to be added to when appropriate.)_ (Sam Winchester)**

"Dean, you're supposed to be doing research!" Sam exclaimed with frustration.

His older brother was laid back in his chair, feet up on the table and a cold beer in his hand as he looked up at Sam trying to fane innocence. Castiel was sat beside him leaned forward slightly with anticipation as he studied the laptop screen deeply.

"We are."

Sam moved around and looked at the screen with a frown. "You're watching _Buffy the Vampire Slayer!_ "

"Yes, and do we, or do we not, slay vampires on a frequent basis?" Dean countered with a smug look.

Sam growled with frustration. "We are hunters. And we're certainly aren't Grimms, or the charmed ones" he said, reading the titles of the other DVDs beside Dean with disbelief.

"I wish we were. This job would be so much easier if we had the book of shadows" Dean mused distantly.

Sam folded his arms firmly across his chest.

"I was thinking about using Burkhardt as my next alias" Dean said with a grin. "He's a pretty awesome guy."

"I thought your man crush was Doctor Sexy?" Sam quipped.

Dean shuffled in his seat a little. "Go away, we're working."

"All this stuff isn't real, Dean" Sam deadpanned.

"Hey, some of this stuff is really educational!" The older Winchester argued.

Castiel turned to look at Dean with a frown. "You told me these were documentaries." Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean who just shrugged in response. "No matter, I do need to expand my knowledge of popular culture" Castiel said.

"See, educational" Dean said with a grin as he patted Cas' shoulder.

"I like the Whitelighters" Castiel chimed in.

"Look, that may be, and I don't have problem with you watching these at your leisure, but they aren't going to help us in a hunt. This is not research" he stated and then turned to leave the room.

"You're going to tell on us to the wall, aren't you?" Dean called after him. He was ignored.

"This is truly enthralling" Castiel said as they turned back to screen.

"Hey, Cas, did Jimmy Novak do any acting when he was younger?" Dean asked. "Only I swear he was in one of these _Charmed_ episodes."

Castiel thought for a while before shaking his head. "Not that I know of, no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was kinda dumb, but I love all the afore mentioned shows too XD
> 
> Thanks for reading! Prompts are always welcome xx


	10. Bitter-Sweet Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Today’s rule was submitted by Jess-Cast1800. I really loved it, such a fun idea XD I hope you like it :) xx

**10\. Never leave candy lying around. It attracts ants and supposedly dead archangels. (Castiel)**

Castiel was reading in his room when he heard the shuffling about downstairs. In the silence of the bunker at night the angel had a very acute sense of hearing. Dean had compared it to him being a guard dog for them. Castiel hadn’t understood.

The angel summoned his blade and started to quietly make his way down to the main hall. As he walked he noticed a rustling sound which grew louder as he got closer. As he rounded the corner with his weapon raised the last thing Castiel expected to see in the darkness of the night came into view. 

“Are you serious?” The angel groaned.

Gabriel, who was mantled over a bowl of candy Dean must have left on the table, looked up at his younger brother with his mouth full and an almost guilty expression. The supposedly dead archangel gulped heavily.

“Hiya, Cassie!”

“What are you doing here?” 

“A guy can’t check in with his little brother to make sure he’s alright?” Castiel folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I smelled candy.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you surprised to see me?” Gabriel asked with a frown.

“No” Castiel said flatly. “You fake your death all the time to get out of doing things. Even when we were young and Michael wanted you to watch over the fledglings whilst he was busy.”

“Aah, yeah. Good times” Gabriel mused with a daydream smile. 

“You should leave. If Sam and Dean find out you are here...”

“Cas!?” Dean called from down the hall. “Who’s there?”

“Too late” the younger angel sighed.

“Crap, ole’ man Winchester” Gabriel panicked.

Both Sam and Dean came running in wearing their pyjamas. Sam had his gun in his hand and Dean had an iron poker. 

“Oh, it’s you” Dean said. His expression became bored.

Gabriel looked awestruck. “Is no one seriously surprised to see me!?”

“You’re the trickster” Sam said as if it were obvious. “We thought you were dead before, but, no.”

“Ugh! Then what was even the point of my great dramatic sacrifice if no one cared!?” Gabriel exclaimed and threw his arms up in their air with frustration.

“Well…up until that point you were kind of a dick” Dean shrugged.

“What are you even doing here?” Sam asked.

“He wanted sweets” Castiel said as he pointed to the bowl of now mostly empty wrappers. 

“Hey, I’ll have you know there was a whole army of ants here before me.” Gabriel said defensively. “I was just sorting that out for you.” 

“Sure” Sam scoffed.

Dean put the iron poker down and started to clap at Gabriel as he approached the archangel.

“Go on, get out!”

“You can’t just push me out like a stray cat, Winchester!”

Dean continued to clap and wave his arms. “Shoo!”

“You can’t disrespect me like this!” Gabriel argued. “Dammit!” 

The archangel disappeared in a fit of outrage. Sam and Castiel were very close to laughing. 

“Freakin’ angels” Dean grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More rule ideas welcome – fully written or a single word prompt!
> 
> Thanks for reading xx


	11. Too Darn Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! How’s tricks? Today’s rule is another wonderful suggestion of the very wonderful ArtistKurai. Enjoy!

**11\. If you bring an animal into the bunker, you clean up after it. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean was walking passed Cas’ room but backtracked when he heard a bout of high pitched mewling coming from within of which, if they belonged to Cas, he would be very disturbed about.

“Cas?” he called and knocked on the door.

“Please wait a moment!” Castiel shouted back with a hint of nervousness in his tone. 

The hunter frowned when he heard Cas hushing something before finally coming to the door. The former angel only opened it just enough to poke his head out and Dean instantly noticed the small scratch on his left cheek.

“What can I do for you, Dean?” Castiel asked. 

“I thought I heard something…” Dean said trying to look around Cas, but the smaller man followed his trail of movement.

“The bunker is quite big and old, I’m sure you could have heard anything” Castiel replied calmly.

“Uh-huh” Dean said as he raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you get that scratch?”

“It’s not a scratch. I cut myself shaving.” 

The response sounded far too rehearsed for Dean’s liking. 

“What’s going on, Cas?” Dean said as he folded his arms across his chest.

The former angel of the lord shuffled anxiously on his feet and bit his bottom lip.

“Cas…” Dean droned out like a parent trying to coax a confession out of a child.

“Promise you won’t react in an aggressive manner?” Castiel asked, not meeting Dean’s eye.

“I promise.”

Castiel finally stepped aside and Dean immediately entered the room and started looking around. He froze next to the dresser when he spotted two small balls of fluff hiding under the bed which started mewling at him.

“What are they doing here?” he asked with annoyance. 

“They’re just helpless kittens, Dean” Castiel said as he went and picked them up. They started pawing at his top. “I found them on the street cold and hungry…”

“Is that pee? Cas, they’ve peed on the floor!” the hunter pointed out. “And there is hair everywhere…you gotta get rid of them.”

“But Dean, I can’t just turn them away. I promise I’ll clean up after them! I may not be an angel anymore but I still want to help creatures who need it. Plus, they looked at me like this” Castiel said imitating the expression with wide and saddened eyes. 

“I understand that, Cas, but I’m sorry, that doesn’t work on me” Dean said with a slightly disgusted face. 

“Are you sure? Because I imagine part of the reason _I’m_ currently living here is because I looked at you like this.” Castiel repeated the longing face.

“Dammit” Dean cursed himself. “Fine! As long as you clean up after them and don’t expect me to get involved then do whatever you want!” 

“Thank you, Dean!” Castiel beamed and nuzzled the kittens into his cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m a freakin’ saint” Dean mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, suggestions make me super happy :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading! x


	12. Call It Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry but I’ve had a bit of a crappy day and didn’t feel like writing so today’s rule is a pre-written. I will get back to your suggestions tomorrow! Thanks for reading :) x

**12\. It is not necessary to call/text each other from within in the bunker. (Sam Winchester)**

"Okay, I think we've got everything we need on this monster" Sam concluded as he closed the lid of his laptop. "Now we just have to wait until tomorrow night when he shows up again."

"Awesome, I'll text Cas the new info" Dean said as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and started tapping at the keys.

"He went out?" Sam asked with a frown as he started gathering his stuff; he didn't recall seeing the angel pass by.

"No" Dean replied.

"You mean he's still in the bunker?"

"Yup."

Sam looked even more confused. "And… you're texting him?"

"Nothing gets past you, Sammy” Dean replied sarcastically. 

Sam rolled his eyes in exasperation. "What, you can't be bothered to actually go and tell him?"

"It's a big place!" Dean argued. "What if I forget what I want to tell him by the time I find him?"

"He's probably in his room!"

"And if he's not?"

"Dean, you cannot be this lazy" Sam insisted. "I will go and find Cas and I'll tell him what we've found..."

"Hold that thought" Dean said with a raised finger as his ringtone started to play. "It's Cas" he said as he answered the call. Sam looked at him with disbelief. "Hey, dude....I know, right?... Yeah, we’ve got everything we need. Anyway, I was gunna grab a beer before bed, you want one?...Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen in five."

Sam, who had been watching the one half of the conversation with a mixture of amusement and incredulousness, motioned to his brother to hand over the phone.

"Oh, hang on, Cas, Sam wants to talk to you" Dean said as he reluctantly handed over the phone.

"Cas, th-...yes, hello, Castiel. Cas, this is ridiculous. You don't need to call Dean when you're both in the same building. It's a waste of minutes for a start...I can practically hear your voice from down the hall!"

Sam pulled back and looked at the phone with a slightly offended look.

"He hung up on me!"

"Rude" Dean said as he took his phone back.

"I know!"

"I meant you" Dean scoffed as he started texting again and headed the kitchen.

"What?"

"Whatever" Dean mumbled without looking away from his screen.

Sam was left in a daze.


	13. Increase In Volume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it’s a bit late today but I’ve been out with the fam. Today’s rule is the last suggestion of SV. I hope you enjoy! :)

**13\. Music must be kept to an appropriate level of volume at all times. (Castiel)**

Sam had his music playing loudly from his laptop as he searched the internet for a new case. Sometimes the silence got to him and it was rare that he could just relax. Unfortunately his solitude ended when Dean stormed into the room with a face of severe displeasure.

“Would you turn that down?!”

“Nope.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because…and it’s _really_ important that you understand this…I don’t want to.”

Dean gave an almost feral growl as he approached his brother.

“Sam, I don’t want to have to listen to one of those dorky British boybands with the floppy hair and a lack of hair on their prepubescent bodies!”

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed with despair. “It’s not that type of band, Dean. They’re more like, soft rock, indie…”

“Oh, so you listen to them ironically, and then you put on your fedora and square glasses and talk about it with your BFFs whilst you’re sipping on skinny lattes at Starbucks!”

Sam was slightly taken aback by his brother’s outburst, but Dean had always been defensive when it came to his music. The younger Winchester, however, had grown sick of this debate long ago. 

“You don’t think I get sick of listening to the same five tapes over and over again when we’re driving!? I mean… _tapes_? Seriously!? It’s _sad_!”

Dean clenched his jaw. It was clear that he was seething.

“Fine. You want to play it like that?” he said lowly.

“Bring it, Gramps.”

The older Winchester left the room in a huff but Sam knew that was not the end of it. Sure enough, no more than two minutes later, AC/DC was being blasted at full volume, streaming down the halls. Sam knew Dean must have hooked up his old stereo system. Well, two could play at that game.

Sam went to his room and grabbed his speakers and connected them up to his computer. He started to play his own music just as loud. It became a total racket, and he knew the sound must be pissing Dean off too, but he also knew neither of them would be willing to back down.

He barely heard the door slam when Castiel entered the bunker and approached Sam. He seemed annoyed. 

“What on earth are you doing!?” The angel yelled.

“What?!” Sam called back over the noise.

Castiel rolled his eyes and then suddenly, they were glowing, and his mouth was open as he emitted what sounded like a high-pitched screech.

“Ah! Okay!” Sam exclaimed as he turned his music off. 

“What the hell was that?” Dean commanded to know as he came back into the room after turning off his own music.

“You were behaving like children so I had to unleash my true voice to get your attention” Castiel explained.

“He started it!” Dean said pointing at his brother. 

“No I didn’t!"

“Well I’m ending it!” Castiel but in. “It is not appropriate to play music that loud.”

“But..!” Sam and Dean blurted out.

“No!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some awesome suggestions coming up, but as always I would love some more!
> 
> Thanks for reading :) xx


	14. Oh, Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Wow, I’ve had such an influx of prompts and rule suggestions recently. Thank you so much, I’m so excited to write them all :D VickyWinchester suggested a rule about honey to go with Dean’s pie rule. I hope you like it!

**14\. Honey is off limits unless stated otherwise. (Castiel)**

One morning, Dean had decided to make pancakes and when he opened the fridge he was disgruntled to find the maple syrup had gone. As he searched for a substitute he found a jar on the top shelf filled with sweet golden honey.

He grabbed it and shut the fridge. As he headed over to the table he realised there was a note written on the lid in bold lettering:

CASTIEL’S. DO NOT TOUCH

“Pft, he’s not gunna notice” Dean mumbled as he opened the lid.

“Dean.” 

The hunter jumped and nearly dropped the jar.

“Dammit, Cas! How many times? Don’t do that.”

The angel was stood over by the kitchen entrance and he was giving Dean a stern scowl.

“Dean, I thought my message made it clear that I did not want my honey to be touched.”

“Aw, c’mon, Cas. Sharing is caring.” The hunter fluttered his eyelashes innocently.

“No, I’m sorry but it takes a long time for me to gather just one jar. I want to save it.”

Dean scoffed like a petulant teenager and put the honey back in the refrigerator. 

“I can’t believe you are condemning me to eating dry pancakes. Is there really no level you won’t stoop to?”

“We have some butter” Castiel pointed out.

“It’s not the same” Dean pouted. “I thought this weird obsession with honey and bees was only a Crazy Cas thing?”

“No, Dean. Bees are very important to the upkeep of the earth and-”

“-Aaand I’m bored” Dean interrupted. Castiel looked unimpressed. “Sorry, dude, sometimes I get grumpy when I’m hungry.”

“Sometimes” Sam scoffed as he came down the stairs to join them. 

“Shut up, bitch."

“Jerk.”

“I’m going to do some reading” Castiel announced. “Sam, please don’t touch my honey.”

The angel disappeared before Sam could say anything else.

“That wasn’t some weird metaphor that I should be concerned about, right?” he asked Dean.

“No, he’s talking about this” his brother replied as he grabbed the jar of honey back out of the fridge and placed it on the table. 

“Didn’t Cas just say not to touch that?”

“Yes…and therefore I must have it” Dean said somewhat sinisterly. Sam gave him a resounding bitch face. Dean just shrugged. “It’s human nature, Sammy.”

“Dean, Cas is your friend. If he asks you not to touch his stuff then don’t do it.”

“Why? It’s not like-“

Dean moved his arm back slightly and accidently nudged the jar. It fell onto the floor and shattered. The older Winchester looked down at the mess with wide eyes.

“Oh, crap.”

There was a flap of wind to indicate that Cas had arrived, right on queue. Dean cringed as he slowly turned to face the angel.

“Cas I…”

“It’s okay” Castiel sighed. “This is why I kept a spare jar in my room.”

“Sorry” Dean said. He actually felt ashamed. 

“You’ll clean this up. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

Sam snorted with amusement and Dean shot him an annoyed look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A free slice of internet cake for everyone who sends me suggestions!
> 
> Thanks for reading :) xx


	15. Time Is Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings! I hope you are all well. Today’s rule is another from the gorgeous ArtistKurai and it as an all too relatable one for me XD I hope you enjoy!

**15\. Keep showers under twenty minutes. (Sam Winchester)**

When Castiel came out of his room one morning he was surprised to find Sam sat cross-legged on the floor. He was outside the bathroom door, banging the back of his head against it with a bored expression. 

“What’s the matter?” Castiel asked as he approached the younger Winchester.

“I want to get a shower but Dean’s been in there for half an hour!” He made sure to shout the time in hopes that his brother would hear. 

“Maybe he just can’t hear you over the water?” Castiel suggested.

“Oh, I know he’s ignoring me.” 

“But…what if he’s unconscious?”

“No, I can hear him doing high-pitched whiney impressions of me. Jerk!” He shouted the insult at the door.

They heard the water stop running and a few minutes later Dean appeared in his robe. He looked down at his brother and then over to Cas with a frown. 

“Perverts” he mumbled before heading off to his room.

Sam cursed under his breath and went into the bathroom. He went to test the water but found the spray to be freezing cold. Dean had used all the hot water.

“Not cool” the younger Winchester mumbled to himself darkly.

He vowed to get up early in the next morning.

\---------------------

The following day Sam had set his alarm just to be sure he’d be up first. However, when he reached the hall for the bathroom Dean was already walking down from the other direction. They froze for a few moments, staring each other out like some kind of standoff, until Dean started running.

“No!” Sam exclaimed as he started dashing too. “No, no, no!”

Dean got there first and pretty much slammed the door in Sam’s face. 

“Dammit, Dean!” The younger Winchester cursed as he slammed his palm on the door in frustration.

“Sorry, Sammy. I can’t hear ya!” Dean called back with amusement in his tone, and then the water started running.

Sam clenched his fists and stomped away with what Dean would have recognised as a classic bitch face. He went down to the kitchen and stood in front of the sink. 

“If you’re gunna take so long I guess I’m going to have to cut you short myself” Sam said to himself.

He turned one of the taps and waited for a few seconds. Sure enough, he heard Dean give out a surprised scream as he was suddenly attacked by ice-cold water. Sam smirked to himself in triumph and hurried back up to the bathroom.

Dean opened the door wrapped in a towel and a pissed off expression.

“I know that was you!”

“Dude, you can’t take so long in the shower every freakin’ morning. It’s not fair!”

“I like to be clean!”

Dean watched with confusion as Sam started to push some buttons on his watch.

“Twenty minutes” Sam said as she showed his brother the timer he had set. “You get twenty minutes!”

He stormed away again and Dean slammed the door with a scoff of disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know I am participating in GISHWES next week (so excited!) so I will try to keep updates daily but I will be busy with that. Got so many good suggestions now but there is always room for more!
> 
> Thanks for reading :) xx


	16. A Simple Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dumplings! Today’s rule is from sonya.kitzmiller who gave me a number of things to include. I hope you like it!

**16\. Always replace stuff that you have used the last of. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean trudged down to the kitchen one morning still trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He decided he needed something refreshing to wake him up so he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and the carton of orange juice out of the refrigerator. However, when he went to pour it Dean was annoyed that there was only a slight drizzle of juice before the box was empty. He sighed with despair as he threw the carton away. 

After stealing one of Sam’s fruit smoothies out of revenge, Dean decided that a nice hot shower is what he needed to wake him up instead.

Once he’d washed the older Winchester picked up the shampoo bottle but it didn’t feel very full. When he tried to squeeze some into his palm the bottle made a feeble noise and almost nothing came out.

Dean almost snarled with frustration. He started muttering to himself “Are you kidding me? Stupid Sam….friggin’ mop on his head…”

The older Winchester had learnt to enjoy the small things in his life, and using the shampoo to style his hair in ridiculous ways for brief moments of amusement was one of them. He’d have to go and get the spare bottle he had in his room. 

He went to grab a towel off the rail but it was empty. 

“Okay, that is the last straw!”

\--------------------

Sam was sat on his bed with his laptop when Dean slammed the door open and stomped into his room. The older Winchester’s clothes were soaking and his hair was wringing wet. He did not look impressed.

“Uh…can I help you?” 

“You know what would have been a real help, Sammy? If you’d thrown out the juice box when you’d finished it, or replaced the shampoo after you’d used it all, or you’d gotten a new towel after you’d showered!” Dean was almost red in the face by the time he’d finished ranting. 

“Dude, I’m sorry. I guess I forgot. They’re not things I give a lot of thought to, you know?"

“Well it’s selfish!” Dean yelled throwing his arms out for emphasis. “For god sakes I went to the bathroom and there was only like one square of toilet paper left” he hissed. 

“You’ve been like this since we were kids and I’m sick of it!”

“Okay, Dean, I’m really sorry, but when we were kids you were always _insisting_ that I took the last of everything.”

“Yeah, because I’m an awesome big brother and I didn’t want you to starve or whatever because dad didn’t…” He stopped and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Whatever. Just replace stuff after you’ve used it, alright?”

“Alright….and Dean?” he called when his brother turned to leave. Dean looked around at him. “Thanks.”

There was a moment of silence before Dean scoffed. “Shut up, Samantha.”

He left before he saw Sam smile.


	17. Laundry Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening everyone! GISHWHES has got me all in a knot so I’m taking a break to update for you guys XD Today’s rule is the suggestion of a Guest reviewer and Suluvmanga. Hope you like it!

**17\. Do not hang up laundry so that is blocks doorways. (Dean Winchester)**

On an unusually quiet morning Castiel and the Winchesters decided it might be the perfect opportunity to take care of some domestic issues. Dean had lost a coin toss with Sam which left the older Winchester grumbling as he reluctantly went off to clean the bathrooms. Sam was in charge of mopping the floors, and Castiel had been put on laundry detail.

The angel tried to point out that he had never actually done laundry before, but Dean had already gone off in a huff and Sam had flippantly told him to look it up online.

When Sam went to check on Castiel later he was surprised to find there was still a huge mound of laundry on the floor, but the angel was missing. 

“Cas?” he called.

The washing pile suddenly started to shift around until eventually Castiel poked through the middle with one of Dean’s socks entangled in his hair. Sam couldn’t help but laugh.

“Dude! What are you doing?”

“Well, the Google said that first you have to sort the laundry into separate coloured piles, but when I tried to untangle some of the bed sheets I fell in and got lost.”

Sam rolled his eyes but had an amused smirk on his face; only Cas.

“How do we even have so much laundry? I’ll admit Dean and I only own like five plaid shirts each and you wear the same thing every day!”

“It seems to have been collecting for a while” Castiel concluded. “Plus, I’m washing all the bed sheets and covers, and the towels….”

“Well, okay. You’re doing a good job, Cas.”

The angel positively beamed. “Thank you, Sam!”

The younger Winchester smiled at him and left. 

Castiel got up and managed to sort the laundry into appropriate piles. Then as he waited for the first load to wash he went to tidy his room. When it was done the angel unloaded the washing machine and made sure nothing had shrunk or turned pink as the internet had suggested. Then arrived the issue of drying. As far as Castiel knew they didn’t have a clothes line. He had another idea. 

\--------------------

Dean was not in the best of moods by the time he had finished scrubbing the bath tub. He snapped off the rubber gloves he was wearing and threw them into the sink. He thought he deserved a break.

The older Winchester opened the door and cried out in surprise when a huge sheet dropped onto his head and caused him to fall on his butt. He tried to fight his way out but he just became more entwined.

“Dean, hold still!” he heard Castiel say.

The angel helped untangle the hunter. Dean looked beyond pissed.

“What the hell!?”

“I was just putting them up to dry.”

Dean looked around and realised all the doors had sheets hanging from them.

“Did you put one over Sam’s door?”

“Yes.”

The hunter seemed to consider something for a moment. 

“Okay, but just this once.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Receiving suggestions is like rainbows and marshmallows for me (that’s very good!)
> 
> Thanks for reading xx


	18. Shut Your Cakehole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I think the rest of the chapters this week will be ones that I have pre-written as I’m pretty busy with GISHWHES, so I will return to your prompts on SUNDAY. I hope you like this next little snippet ;) x

**18\. The consumption of Angel Cake is forbidden. (Castiel)**

“Sammy!” Dean called from the kitchen. Sam and Castiel were sat at the main table and heard the fridge door slam before Dean came striding into the room. “I specifically reminded you before you left, Pie. You forgot the pie!”

“I didn’t forget, Dean” Sam replied calmly. “The store didn’t have any pie left, so I bought cake instead.”

“Cake?” Dean repeated with disbelief. “How many times do I have to explain to you that pie and cake are completely different things?!”

“You should give it a try, Dean” Castiel said holding up the cake which was a mixture of yellow and pick sponge and cream. “It is most delectable.” 

“What’s with the colouring?” Dean asked as he eyed the slice like it might bite him.

“I don’t know” Sam shrugged. “That’s just how they make it. I think it’s from England.” 

“Then definitely pass” Dean sulked.

“What’s it called, Sam?” Castiel asked as he took another bite.

“Angel cake” Sam told him with a grin before having a mouthful of his own slice. “I just saw it and thought of you.” 

Castiel’s face paled immediately and his fork dropped from between his fingers and hit the wood with an echoing clatter. Dean actually wondered if he was going to be sick. Cas’ eyes grew gradually wider as if he was slowly realising something. 

“Cas, you okay?” Sam said, confused by their friends sudden change of mood.

“Are you telling me you have converted me into a cannibal, Sam?” Castiel asked in a stoic tone. “Does this cake in fact contain remnants of my former brothers and sisters?”

There was a moment of silence as Sam looked mortified at the thought and Castiel seemed to go even whiter. It was Dean who eventually burst out laughing.

“It’s just a name, Cas!” Sam exclaimed. “It’s just named after angels because it’s light or something. I promise you there are no real angels in it.” 

“Yeah, they’d definitely have to put that on the packaging if there was” Dean said as he managed to control his laughter.

“Well, as true as that may be, seeing this cake from now on will make me feel highly uncomfortable” Castiel said as he stood up with his plate and then snatched up Sam’s slice too.

“Hey!” The younger Winchester complained. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I will be writing a rule about this on the wall” Castiel stated before he exited the room.

“I told you, pie would never lead to this much disappointment” Dean shrugged before turning to leave the room too. “Pie!” he called back over his shoulder and Sam couldn’t help but laugh.


	19. Little Gremlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening peeps! A little later than usual, it's been a busy gishwhes day XD I hope you like it :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading xx

**19\. Do not give Cas caffeine after midnight; events similar to those in ‘Gremlins’ will take place.**

“Sam, I must apologise, but I don’t think I’m able to keep my eyes open any longer” Castiel complained as he held his head between his hands and tried to concentrate hard on the pages in front of him, but the words were starting to become one big blur.

“Come on, Cas, just another hour” Sam pleaded. “We need to know everything we can about this SOB before we go after him and he’s dropping people like files.”

“Don’t worry, I know the perfect thing” Dean announced before heading off towards the kitchen. He returned five minutes later with a steaming pot of coffee. “A good cup of joe with a little added sugar will keep you going for a while longer” he claimed as he handed Castiel the drink. 

“Thank you” Castiel said and took a sip. He licked his lips.

An hour later and Castiel was on his fifth cup of coffee. He was practically bouncing in his seat and his whole body was shaking as he looked around the bunker with wide and curious eyes. 

“Can anyone else hear colours?” he asked.

“What?” Dean frowned.

“I think he’s having a severe caffeine rush” Sam said, observing how jittery their friend was. “Cas, I think you’ve had enough coffee” he added, going over to take the cup.

“No!” Castiel snapped as he clutched the cup to his chest.

“Hand it over, Gizmo” Dean said like a stern parent. “Or else you’re gunna split into two Cas’ and I ain’t dealing with that.”

Castiel pouted as he reluctantly handed the coffee over and then jumped up from his seat.

“I can’t just sit here anymore; we have to go! We have to go stab this assbutt!” 

“Cas, just clam down” Sam said. His arms were spread out in surrender but he had a smirk on his face. “I’m glad you’re ready to help now, but we’ve established a knife isn’t going to be enough.”

“But I have to do something, Sam!” Castiel insisted as he started pacing up and down the room, his arms flailing to emphasis the urgency. “I have too much energy to just sit around!”

“My room needs cleaning” Dean shrugged. 

“Yes, yes I’m on it!” Cas said excitedly and then ran up the stairs.

Sam gave his brother a confused look. 

“What? Might as well get something out of it” Dean argued. 

Twenty minutes later Dean decided to go and see how Cas was doing. When he came back down he looked slightly annoyed and Sam waited for an explanation with an amused grin. 

“He’s crashed out face down on my bed and all the stuff in my drawers has been thrown everywhere” Dean explained. “I better go write something on the wall to warn people…”


	20. Feather Duster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I’ve got a lot more super awesome prompts to work on now and I can’t wait to work on them :) I hope you like today’s instalment xx

**20\. Do not use Castiel’s feathers for dusting. (Castiel)**

Castiel sighed forlornly as he watched another one of his jet black feathers glide swiftly to the ground. His recent leaning towards humanity meant his wings had been losing some of their angelic quality. He picked up the feather and placed it in the pocket of his coat. He’d managed to collect a few back but he had a feeling he had missed a bunch too.

The angel continued walking down to the main hall of the bunker. When he arrived he found Sam dusting down the book cases. The younger Winchester was rather particular about the upkeep of the books; they were a main source or his research after all.

Castiel would have paid him no mind if he had not realised exactly what Sam was dusting with.

“Are those my feathers!?” 

The angel stormed over to Sam who was looking like a startled deer in the headlights. 

“I…Uh…”

“Sam!” Castiel exclaimed; he sounded a little hurt. “An angel’s wings are sacred and…moulting is embarrassing enough without you mocking me!”

“I’m sorry, Cas. I just found them lying around so I thought you didn’t want them. I wasn’t trying to mock you. If you’re moulting do we…uh… need to take you to a vet or something?” 

“Sam! I am an angel not a bird!” 

Castiel was clearly offended as he snatched back his feathers and practically ran from the room, pushing past Dean as he did so.

“What’s his problem?” the older Hunter asked.

Sam sighed guiltily. “I did something really bad.” 

\--------------------

Castiel went back down later on and found Sam sat at the table with his best doe eyes on. Dean was also there lounging back in his chair eating a bag of potato chips. Castiel trudged over and sat next to Dean.

“Dean said you wanted to talk to me?” 

Sam nodded and gave his brother a look which said ‘go away’, but Dean continued to look relaxed as he popped chips into his mouth. 

“Dean, what are you even doing here?” Sam finally asked when his brother showed no sign of leaving. 

“I thought Cas might need a lawyer” he replied. Sam looked at him incredulously. “I’m kidding; I just thrive off drama and chaos.” Dean said seriously and then threw some more chips into his mouth. “Besides, it’s not often that you’re the jerk!” he laughed.

Sam chose to ignore him. “Castiel, I am so sorry about what I did with your feathers. It was disrespectful. I clearly upset you and offended you and it won’t happen again.”

“Thank you, Sam. I forgive you” Castiel said with a small smile.

Dean suddenly let out a snort of laughter. 

“What’s so funny?” Sam asked with a frown at his brother. 

Dean leaned over to whisper something in Cas’ ear. The angel looked unimpressed. 

“Well?” Sam asked Castiel. 

“He suggested that since you dusted with my feathers that I should mop the floor with your hair.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

“What? I kid” Dean said.


	21. The O.K. Corral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! How are you? I hope you like this silly little chapter XD
> 
> Thanks for reading xx

**21\. Do not challenge each other to a duel at sundown (or any other time of the day). (Sam Winchester)**

"Again, try again!" Dean commanded.

Castiel sighed as he lowered the gun. "Dean, this is absurd. My aim with a gun is not going to get any better. I've spent many millennia with my blade and I do just fine."

Den scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. "Sure, because you've never been in trouble because of that stupid blade before." 

Castiel frowned and placed a hand on his hip – Dean couldn’t think where he’d picked that up from.

"Perhaps you mock it because you know you can't handle it" the angel challenged. 

Dean gasped slightly with a look of outrage before narrowing his eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Maybe you shouldn't be questioning my marksmanship, and focus on your own swordsmanship."

"Alright, wise guy" Dean said poking Cas in the chest. "I challenge you to a duel!" 

"I accept. Meet me in the main hall at sundown."

The two men tried to stare each other down before giving up and storming off in opposite directions.

\-------------------

The angel and the hunter met as agreed. Dean was armed with the sword he has discovered to be very sharp upon their arrival at the bunker. Castiel, as ever, had his trusty angel blade by his side. 

"Perhaps we should set some ground rules" Castiel said.

"Right uh...nothing on the face or below the waist" Dean said. Castiel nodded his agreement. "And no powers! Except healing...that's probably going to come in handy." 

"Fine" Castiel sighed. 

"Alright" Dean said as he raised his sword. "I hope you're ready for this" he smirked.

"I believe the phrase is...bring it on" Castiel said as he narrowed his eyes. "Mortal."

"Oh, I ain't a mortal. I'm a Winchester, baby."

The angel and the hunter began to charge at each other. 

\--------------------

Sam came down from his room that evening to the sound of clanging and grunting. When he entered the hall he was alarmed to find Castiel and his brother stood on the table trying to run each other through during an intense looking battle. 

"You guys have watched a bunch of movies with sword fights in recently, haven't you?"

"Maybe" Dean huffed as he ducked Cas' attack. "He insulted my honour!"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever, would you just stop? One of you is going to end up hurt." 

"I will not surrender" Castiel stated. 

Sam sighed with derision. "Dumbasses" he mumbled as he left the room.

Eventually, Dean's stomach won over his pride as he decided he needed a burger more desperately. He would have challenged Castiel to a rematch, but it seemed Sam had been determined to not let them have fun.


	22. Give It A Whack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! I hope you are all good. I will be back to your prompts soon; GISHWHES has consumed me this week :’) Here is the next little instalment! I didn't realise but this chapter was supposed to be posted 2 days ago but didn't post for some reason :3 I'll make up for this by posting another chapter later today!
> 
> Thanks for reading :) xx

**22\. Mindlessly hitting appliances that won’t work with a hammer only makes it worse. So, don’t bother. (Sam Winchester)**

"Dammit!" 

Dean heard his brother curse as he walked down to the kitchen.

He found Sam twisting the knobs on the stove with great frustration. Dean smirked to himself in amusement.

"Having some trouble there, Sammy?"

"The stove is bust" his brother stated as he stood back and put his hands on his hips in a thoughtful stance.

"Did you make sure the gas is on?" Dean asked.

"Yes" Sam replied with a snarky smile, knowing that his brother was trying to mock him. "I’ve been trying for an hour and it won't even switch on. We can't exactly get someone down here to fix it. We may have to just buy a new one."

Dean scoffed. "Sammy, please. I can take a part pretty much any car and have it back together in a matter of hours. I think I can fix a stove."

"Alright" Sam said throwing his hands up in defeat. "If you think you can, then go for it. I think there is a box of tools in room one-oh-two if you need them."

"Awesome" Dean said with a confident grin as he went to find the equipment he would need.

Although Sam did not at all doubt his brother's ability to fix up a car he was still sceptical about household appliances. He decided he had better do his own research just in case.

\--------------------

A few hours later and Sam hadn't heard anything back from Dean. He had been looking up possible problems on his laptop and had come across a website he thought might be useful if his brother had made little process.

Taking his laptop down the kitchen with him Sam’s ears were soon assaulted by a loud banging sound. When he entered the room he found his brother ruthlessly hitting the stove with a hammer and muttering "stupid, stupid, stupid..!"

"Dean!" Sam called above the racket. His bother turned to look at him with a slightly sheepish grimace. "Having some trouble there, Dean?" Sam asked with an amused smile.

"Shut up" Dean replied with a hard glare.

Sam looked at the oven which was now littered with dents and smashed in several places. "Well there's no way we're fixing it now."

"I'll go pick up a new one" Dean mumbled as he skulked past his brother.

"And I'm left to clean up the chaos and destruction" Sam sighed.


	23. Windows To The Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! So GISHWHES is over (boo!) but that does mean I can get to work on all your awesome prompts (and there is a rather lengthy list now!). So, VickyWinchester sent me the idea for this rule! 
> 
> (NB: Although I don’t plan to make destiel canon in these stories there will definitely be allusions to and implications.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for your awesome suggestions :D xx

**23\. Staring into each other’s eyes for an excessive amount of time is forbidden unless part of a contest. (Sam Winchester)**

Castiel and Dean were arguing which meant Sam was, as usual, stuck in-between something which seemed disturbingly like an old married couples tiff. 

Now that Castiel was human Dean had been constantly reminding him that he needed to be more careful on hunts as he could bruise and break much easier now. Castiel didn’t see this as the hunter being helpful though; he thought that Dean was just rubbing in that fact that Cas would never be as good of a hunter as the brothers. 

So naturally when they had gone to hunt a Wendigo the previous night Castiel had hit his head and ended up with a pretty severe concussion. Now, Sam had informed them of a potential vampire nest nearby and Castiel wanted to come despite that fact he was still recovering, but Dean was insisting otherwise.

“Cas, don’t be stupid!” Dean exclaimed as he got up from the table to go and stand face-to-face with the sulking angel. “You’re hurt! We can’t hunt and worry about you at the same time.”

“You don’t need to worry about me” Castiel replied with slightly narrowed eyes. “I can take care of myself.”

“You were vomiting just an hour ago!”

“I’ll be fine.”

Dean sighed with frustration and clenched his jaw.

“I said no. You’re not coming.”

And then things fell silent. Sam watched with a confused frown as his brother and best friend seemed to become enthralled in a staring contest he wasn’t aware they’d agreed to. It made the younger Winchester feel on edge and like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t be. 

Sam shuffled in his chair and cleared his throat before turning back to his laptop. Castiel eventually stormed away and Dean returned to the table, angrily downing the beer he had opened earlier.

“Dude, what’s with the whole soul sucking staring into each other’s eyes you always do?” Sam asked.

Dean looked like he genuinely didn’t know what his brother was talking about. “What?” 

“You and Cas, gazing into each other’s eyes like they hold the answers to the universe!”

“We don’t…what?” Dean scoffed dismissively.

Sam gave his older brother a pointed look. “Do you need to tell me something?” he asked like a parent trying to pry the truth out of child.

“No!” Dean exclaimed with outrage. “Shut up!”

“Well just stop, okay? It makes me uncomfortable.” Sam squirmed like a shiver had just gone down his spine.

“I would if I knew what you were talking about” Dean mumbled.

Sam rolled his eyes and went back to researching.

Later in the afternoon Castiel came back down and Dean turned to face the angel with somewhat pleading eyes.

“Dean I…I wish to apologise. I realise now that you are just trying to do what’s best for me. You are right, I will stay here.”

“Yeah, exactly. It’s okay, Cas.”

They smiled at each other meekly and stared into wide eyes with deep understanding. 

“I’m gunna leave before I throw up” Sam huffed.


	24. Flower Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautifuls! How is you? Today’s rule is from a Guest reviewer and well…don’t you just love Cas being cute and Dean being a secret softie? XD I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thank you for the uplifting reviews and awesome prompts! Xx

**24\. Do not fill rooms with plants/flowers. (Dean Winchester)**

When Dean went to the bathroom one morning he was still half a sleep and at first didn’t question the leaves which smacked him in the face when he opened the door. He rubbed his eyes and sighed when he realised the whole bathroom was filled with various tropical plants and blooming flowers.

“Oh, it is too early in the morning for this” the hunter groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

The shower curtain was pulled back and Castiel stepped out of the tub with a pleased smile on his face. Dean was even less amused to find their bath had been turned into a flower bed.

“Doesn’t it look wonderful?” Castiel gushed. “I thought the bunker needed brightening up a little due to the lack of windows. 

“Yeah, but, this is our bathroom” Dean stressed. “That is not okay” he said as he pointed at the tub. “And that…” he said pointing to the toilet which now appeared to have a cactus growing out of it, “that is a dangerous accident waiting to happen.”

“But, Dean, plants and flowers can bring colour and life to any environment. My favourite heavens were full of them. And the smells are so sweet and refreshing.”

“Yeah, you can buy cans of air freshener which will do the same thing” Dean argued.

Castiel sighed. “You’re missing the point. Here…” the angel went to rummage around in some of the foliage until he found a ring of pink flowers. “These are carnations; they are your birth flower. They connote love, fascination, and distinction.”

He placed the flower crown on Dean’s head and the hunter couldn’t have looked less impressed. 

“Don’t think all this cutsie stuff is gunna work, because it’s not!” the hunter insisted. 

Castiel looked crestfallen as he hung his head a little. 

“I’m sorry, Dean” the angel said with a small voice. 

Now Dean just felt like a jerk.

“Dammit” the hunter cursed. ““We need this room, Cas, and the bunker doesn’t have to right conditions for growing plants. You have to take them outside, okay? We’ll make you your own private garden where you can go chill and do what you want with the wildlife.”

Castiel instantly brightened up and Dean could imagine the angels wings would be fluttering with excitement. 

“That sounds acceptable. Thank you, Dean!”

“Whatever; don’t get goofy about it” Dean said as he waved a dismissive hand. “Now, get this stuff out of here...and start with that!” he said pointing at the toilet cactus.

The older Winchester left Cas to it and headed down to the kitchen. Sam was already there eating cereal. Dean was confused by the funny look his brother gave him.

“Good morning, your majesty.”

The older Winchester frowned but then remembered he was still wearing the flower crown.

“Oh crap” he mumbled as he took it off and placed it on the table.

“N’aw, you looked pretty” Sam teased.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have one” Dean muttered.


	25. Busy Bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! How are you? Today’s rule comes from Screamless and IceCream3131 who gave a similar suggestion. Poor Cas has been getting into trouble a lot recently! I hope you enjoy :) Thanks for reading xx

**25\. Do not keep bees in the bunker. (The Winchester Brothers)**

When Sam and Dean returned from a supply run one afternoon they knew that the low buzzing sound that the bunker had acquired whilst they were away could not be a good thing.

“What is that?” Sam asked his brother.

“Oh, I have a very distinct feeling that I know” Dean groaned. “And it ain’t good.”

They made their way down the stairs and placed the grocery bags on the table. The buzzing noise grew louder.

“Oh” Sam gasped with sudden realisation. “He _didn’t._ ” 

“Cas!” Dean yelled down the hall. “Get your feathery ass down here right now!”

Castiel appeared looking a little flustered and like his feathers may have been a little ruffled. 

“Yes, Dean?”

“You better promise me that there are no swarms of bees in this bunker or so help me I will make you live in a nest in a tree.”

The older Winchester knew he had his answer when Castiel seemed to be looking at anywhere in the room but him. 

“Cas..!” Dean growled as he took a step forward.

“Whoa…” Sam said as he held his brother back. “I think after what you told me happened last time with the bees you should just be grateful that he’s clothed” the younger Winchester pointed out to his brother. “Small mercies” he added with a sympathetic smile as he patted Dean on the back.

Dean scowled at Sam before turning back to Castiel and taking a deep breath.

“Cas, as I explained to you about the plants it is not appropriate to keep bees inside” he said as calmly as possible

“I know, but they fascinate me so much and I just wanted to observe them closely for a little while…”

“No, Cas” Dean said bluntly. “You need to mojo those things out of here.”

“Wait, I want to see” Sam said. 

Dean looked at his brother incredulously. “What?”

Sam shrugged. “I want to see the bees.”

Castiel nearly did a skip as he grabbed Sam’s jacket sleeve and started to drag him down the hall. Dean reluctantly followed. They stopped outside of Cas’ room and the buzzing noise was practically breaking through the door.

“Stand back” Castiel warned the brothers. 

He opened the door and stepped aside to let Sam and Dean look in. Sam’s mouth fell slightly agape and Dean’s eyes widened in astonishment. The room was filled with the busy little creatures. There was a swarming bee tornado in the middle of room and bees nesting in the corners. There were hundreds of them.

“Okay it looks cool” Sam admitted. “But it’s not right.”

“I know” Castiel sighed. “I will transport them all back outside.”

“Wait! Uh…collect any honey they’ve made” Dean said. “I’m craving pancakes but we forgot to get syrup.”

Sam shot him a look.

“What? Might as well get something good out of it…”


	26. Like A Virgin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I hope that you are all well. NorthernShinigami gave me this sentence to include in a story: “Put the virgin down, Castiel." So, here we go XD I hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you for reading and for your awesome suggestions :) xx 
> 
> (Sorry if it seems like i'm taking forever to get to your prompts, i've got a long list and I'm just writing them in the order I receive them.)

**26\. Kidnapping virgins for spells is not appropriate. (Sam Winchester)**

"I got it!" Dean exclaimed smugly as he poked a page in the book he'd been studying. He, Sam, and Castiel had been searching through the bunker library for hours trying to find a summoning spell for a god they were hunting.

"Great, what do we need?" Sam asked.

"Well I think we have everything...oh."

"What is it?"

"We need some virgin's blood" Dean read.

"Where are we going to find a virgin who is willing to help us?" Sam asked.

Dean turned to look at Castiel. The angel looked rightly offended and squinted back at him.

"What? That thing with April can't have counted" Dean claimed.

"Why can you not accept that I've had sexual intercourse?" Castiel asked. "I know I did because I-"

"Whoa, okay!" Sam quickly cut him off. "Don't need to know about that."

"How much blood do we need?" Castiel asked.

"Just a standard vial full" Dean confirmed.

"Alright, leave it to me" Castiel said seriously, and before Sam or Dean could say anything else the angel disappeared.

"Well, this can only go well" Dean said sarcastically.

\--------------------

It took an hour for Castiel return, and when he did Sam and Dean were alarmed to find he had a pale and shaking teenage boy thrown over his shoulder.

"Sorry I took so long. Women kept slapping me in the face when I asked if they were a virgin and one man tried to kick my genitals."

"Cas! You can't just kidnap people!" Sam exclaimed.

"I didn't. He agreed to come...after I bent the truth a little. I think the traveling has shaken him though."

"Just, put the virgin down, Castiel" Dean commanded.

Castiel set the teenager down on his feet. He wobbled and looked around the room with wide eyes.

"Are you angels too?" He asked the brothers breathlessly.

"I found him at a church. I told him he had been selected for a holy mission" Castiel whispered to Sam.

"Um, what's your name?" The younger Winchester asked.

"Nathan."

"Well, thank you Nathan but..."

"I want to help you!" The boy exclaimed as he held his arm out and rolled up his sleeve. "Take what you want!"

"Well, he is offering" Dean whispered to Sam with a shrug. "And then Cas can just Men In Black his memory..."

"I don't understand that reference" Castiel said.

"Make him forget he saw us" Dean explained flatly.

"Okay, uh, this shouldn't hurt too much" Sam said as he gathered what he would need.

Once they had Nathan's blood Dean placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"You're probably not going to remember this but I feel sorry for you so, in the near future I will find you, and will help you get laid."

"Really? Thanks" Nathan said wistfully.

Dean smiled and patted his shoulder. "Over to you, Cas."

After the angel took Nathan away Sam let out a long sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"We cannot risk that again."


	27. Family Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! Sorry it’s been a few days but I’ve not had my laptop to hand until now. This rule comes courtesy of a Guest reviewer and ArtistKurai. Thank you so much to everyone for your comments and your awesome suggestion. Enjoy!

**27\. Whoever doesn't cook has to wash the dishes. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean didn’t like to admit just how much he enjoyed cooking. Takeout food was a lot easier and greasier (which Dean had to say he didn’t mind) but the older Winchester felt good about himself when he went to effort to provide a homemade meal for himself, Sam, and the now human Castiel. It wasn’t often that they got a chance to sit around the table together, and Dean did want to try and retain some normal family values.

That evening Dean had prepared his own burgers (he was building up his repertoire, but they were a classic.) He’d even provided a side salad to appease Sam’s snootiness when it came to eating healthily. 

“Guys, dinner!” he called as he laid the plates on the table.

Sam came downstairs first still surfing on his laptop as he carried. Dean rolled his eyes; he was starting to think it was an addiction. Castiel followed moments later with a book tucked under his arm.

“Looks good” Sam commented as he managed to tear his eyes away from the screen for a millisecond. 

“Yes, very appetising” Castiel agreed as he sat down and opened his book.

Dean frowned. “No, no” he insisted as he took the book from Castiel and shut Sam’s laptop.

“Hey!” his brother protested.

“No, I have cooked and we are going to eat together like a family” Dean insisted.

“Uh…okay” Sam said looking slightly perturbed.

“This isn’t like you, Dean” Castiel commented.

“Look, knowing us we could be killed at any time, so would it be so bad if we just did this every once in a while?” 

“No, of course not” Sam replied, though he was still a little unsure about his brother’s sudden sentimentality. 

Dean liked to savour the taste of his food when he himself had taken the time to make it; Sam and Cas clearly had other things in mind. They seemed to scoff their burgers down in no time, then Sam grabbed his laptop, Cas reclaimed his book, and they both got up to leave. 

“Thanks, Dean.”

“Yes, that was delicious…”

“Hey, wait!” Dean called. Sam and Castiel froze. “I cooked you an awesome meal, you make some half ass compliments, and then you don’t offer to do the dishes or anything? You can’t expect me to do all the work!”

“Oh, um, sorry?” Sam said. 

“You should be, you lazy asses. Get cleaning!” 

Sam and Cas deposited their belongings on the table and skulked over towards the sink. 

“So, this is what it’s like to have a mother?” Castiel mumbled to Sam.

“I guess so. One who’s PMSing” Sam replied. 

Dean rolled his eyes and threw a bunch of oily fries at the back of his brother’s head. 

"Don't be rude!"


	28. Blown To Smithereens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day to you my dearests! I hope you are all feeling fine. Today’s rule was an awesome suggestion from BarPurple and I had a lot of fun with this one XD I hope you like it! Thanks for reading and for your ever awesome suggestions xx

**28\. Using guns to dispose of moths causes unnecessary collateral damage. Don’t do it. (Castiel)**

Dean and Castiel were sat watching Dr Sexy on Dean’s laptop. It had taken some convincing on the hunter’s part but Castiel now seemed to be enjoying the series (“Probably because he doesn’t know any better” Sam had said.)

They were coming up to a very important part which Dean was eager for Castiel to see when a moth landed on the screen. Dean growled with frustration and batted it away with his hand, but the little thing returned within seconds and started walking across the monitor.

“Dammit!” Dean exclaimed. He shut the laptop screen in hopes of crushing the stupid moth, but it flew out from between the gap and landed on the hunter’s arm. “Get of o’ me!” He went to squash it but ended up smacking his arm painfully hard instead as the moth took off again.

“Dean, this isn’t exactly the hardest foe you’ve ever had to eliminate” Castiel pointed out.

“Are you seriously mocking me right now?” Dean asked; he was clearly annoyed. 

“Well…”

The angel tilted his head to the side slightly as he watched the hunter waves his arms wildly in the air as he tried to catch the mini beast. 

“Stupid moth…getting the better of me…” Dean muttered to himself. “…Distract me from Doctor Sexy…stupid angel thinks he’s funny…squash _his_ wings…”

“I can hear you” Castiel said with a flat expression.

“Good” Dean said as he clapped his hands together, but the moth had escaped again.

“Isn’t there a more humane way you could handle this?” Castiel suggested.

Dean stopped and took a deep breath. “Yes, you are right. I shall handle this as if it were a human who had broken into my home and threatened me.” His voice was dangerously low.

“Um…I’m not great with semantics but I don’t think _threatened_ is the right word for this situation” Castiel said. 

He was ignored as Dean calmly left the room. The hunter returned moments later, appearing to be just as composed as when he had left, only this time he was carrying a shotgun in his right hand.

“Where is it?” he asked Castiel coolly.

Castiel didn’t take his wide eyes off the shotgun as he slowly pointed up at the wall. The angel watched in awe as Dean raised the weapon and moments later a loud bang echoed throughout the room as Dean took a shot at the moth, hitting the wall, and causing part of it to crumble away.

“Take that you son of a bitch” Dean said, pleased with himself as he put the shotgun down again.

“What the hell was that!?” Sam yelled as he hurried into the room. 

“That was me serving up some justice” Dean replied as he sat down again. 

“That was not necessary” Castiel said as he looked at the new hole in their wall.

“I am not fixing that” Sam mumbled before he trudged away.

Castiel didn’t have the heart to tell Dean the moth flew out from behind him.


	29. A Load Of Shmoop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello humans and aliens alike! I hope you are all well. Today’s rule was a really fun suggestion from Avalin Rose Ellyot. I hope you like it! As ever, thank you for reading and for your continuous awesome suggestions xx

**29\. Never, ever, EVER read/write fanfiction your brother and your friend. EVER. (Dean and Castiel) (Destiel)**

Dean was getting a little frustrated with Sam smirking to himself as he typed away on his laptop. He felt like he was out of the loop of some big joke. Cas was sat beside Sam reading, but he wasn’t paying him any heed. 

“Okay, what is it?” Dean finally asked when he couldn’t take the curiosity anymore. “I know it’s not porn. You’re not man enough for that. ”

“No, it’s not” Sam said with an unimpressed look. 

“Well then what’s got you grinning like a gossipy school girl?” Dean asked.

“What’s Destiel shmoop?”

Sam froze. He hadn’t realised Cas had leaned over to look at his screen.

“Did he just say…” Dean looked like he was in shock. He scrambled out of his chair and ran around the table to look at the screen for himself. “Is this fanfiction!? Are you reading fanfiction about me and Cas!?”

“Really?” Castiel said. He remembered Charlie explaining to him vaguely what that was.

“I’m just looking” Sam shrugged. “Seeing that play made me kind of curious and I was just talking to Charlie and she told me about this site…”

“Shmoop? What is shmoop?” Dean asked in an outrage. “If it’s something creepy then you can go stay in a motel forever!”

“It means fluffy, you know, cute” Sam explained. “There’s a lot of stuff about being raised from perdition, profound bonds…”

Castiel quickly snatched the laptop away from Sam and clicked on the first story. 

“Do you really enjoy staring into my eyes like that, Dean?”

Dean let out a gasp of disbelief as he leant over Cas’ shoulder to have a read for himself. 

“What?! My freckles weren’t made by angel kisses?” Dean exclaimed as he smacked his hands over his cheeks to hide said freckles. “Were they? That’s so pervy!” His voice had definitely gone up a pitch.

“It’s just a saying” Sam said with an amused smile. “You seem pretty into this stuff, though, despite the no chick flick moments thing” he added. “Although, you have only said that once.”

“You seem to cry an awful lot, Dean” Castiel said as he continued to squint at the screen, reading the summaries for the stories. 

“No I don’t!” Dean pouted. “Wait, what’s that?” he asked as he pointed at another tab.

“Oh that’s just…uh…”

Dean leaned over and clicked on it. His eyes grew even wider and Sam would have found it comical if he didn’t know how angry his brother was. 

“Are you writing fanfiction about us!?” 

“No! It’s a forum and well…I thought I’d give people a few pointers from first-hand experience with you guys.”

“Sam! I’m so mad at you right now!” Dean yelled.

“Yes, I’m not sure I like this either “ Castiel said.

Dean stormed out of the room and immediately headed down to write a rule on the wall. 

When he came back the next day to see what Sam had done to the names, he was not impressed.


	30. Do Not Disturb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful darlings! I hope you are all well. Today’s rule is from Me (an anon who went by that name, not me personally XD) I hope you enjoy it :) Thank you again for reading and leaving suggestions. I’m so glad these stories make people laugh, that makes me feel really great :’)

**30\. Do not wake people up for unnecessary reasons. (Dean Winchester)**

“Dean” Castiel hissed as stood over the hunter who was sleeping in his bed. “Deeeean.” He poked the man in the shoulder.

“Wh…no, dad, it was Sam…” Dean mumbled in his sleep. “I didn’t put glue there…”

Castiel was confused. He thought that Dean’s hunter reflexes had made him a light sleeper always ready for action – now he was just chewing on the corner of his pillow. Although, Castiel supposed they had just finished a very challenging hunt. 

“Dean!” The angel shouted as he grew impatient. 

The older Winchester startled awake and grabbed the gun he kept under his pillow before pointing at his intruder.

“Dammit, Cas!” Dean growled. “I thought I made rule about not coming in my room at night!”

“You did, but it only applies after eleven pm. It’s only ten fifty-five pm.”

Dean exhaled deeply to try and keep his cool as he put his gun away and then turned to face Castiel.

“What do you want?”

“I was wondering if I could borrow your laptop.”

Dean frowned. “Seriously? You couldn’t wait til morning! What’s so important that you have to do it now?” 

“Nothing in particular. I’m just bored.” 

Dean looked at the angel in disbelief.

“Okay, Cas, I am tired because we just spent the last thirty six hours tracking down and taking out a nest of vamps. I need to sleep. I want to sleep. I actually like sleep. From now on you are not allowed to wake me up without a very good reason.” 

“But, Dean, what I class as a good reason and what you class as a good reason clearly differs” Castiel argued.

Dean groaned, sounding pained, as he finally managed to pull himself from the depths of his warm duvet and pillow so he could sit up to face Castiel.

“Okay, here is the definitive list of valid reasons” he said raising his fingers to count them off. “You’re dying, Sam’s dying, the bunker is on fire, or there’s pie.”

Castiel squinted down at Dean. “One of those seems to be significantly less severe than the others.”

Dean simply sighed with frustration and flopped back down into the mattress, burying his face in the pillow. 

“Go away, Cas.”

“But…you didn’t answer me.”

Dean was already half asleep again.

“Dad says no, go ask your mom.”

“I don’t have a mother” Castiel said. “Oh, you mean Sam” he realised as he worked his way around Dean’s unusual humour of calling his brother a girl. There was some sort of grunt of confirmation from the bed. “You do realise the implications of you being my father and Sam being my mother, right?”

“Cas!”

“Alright! I’m leaving” the angel huffed. “But I intend to attempt some baking without guidance, then, so perhaps I will wake you with news of a fire after all.”

He left before Dean could protest.


	31. The Time Sam Dyed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope things are going good. Today’s rule came from ktstayc. I’m putting out a slight cringe warning on this one, but I hope you like it still XD Thank you for reading and commenting. It means so much to me :) x

**31\. Do not touch Sam’s hair products! (Sam Winchester)**

Dean was sat in the kitchen reading the newspaper in search of potential cases. The heavy footsteps which echoed down the stairs warned him that Sam was coming, and Dean could already tell that his brother was pissed. As expected when Sam entered the room and glared at Dean the older Winchester knew that if looks could kill then he would certainly be dead.

“What’s with that sack?” Dean asked referring to the beanie Sam was wearing. 

“You know” Sam said with dangerously narrowed eyes. He moved over and slammed his palms down on the table. “You damn well know what you did!”

Dean looked up at Sam like butter wouldn’t melt. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do!” Sam yelled. “You switched my shampoo.”

“Oh, you’re mad you don’t smell like strawberries and rainbows?” Dean said.

“No” Sam seethed through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath because he was trying very hard not to completely flip out. “You switched my shampoo…for hair dye.”

“Sorry, Sammy, I didn’t do anything of the kind."

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed as he threw his arms out in exasperation. “You seriously expect me to believe Cas would do something this childish?”

Dean merely shrugged. “Or maybe we have fairies. I know they’re tricky little bastards.”

“Fairies did not do this to my hair!” 

Sam ripped off the beanie to reveal that his hair was now covered in platinum blond patches. Dean tried to look shocked but it was heavily outweighed by the urge to laugh so he had to bite down on the side of his fist.

“Well it looks…different.”

“Why? Why the hell would you do this!?” Sam shouted as he waved his arms frantically. “I’m going to have to friggin’ dye it back again…I can’t go out like this!”

“Why don’t you just cut it?” Dean suggested.

“That’s not going to work.” Sam paused. “Wait. Please tell me you didn’t do this just because you want me to cut my hair.”

“What? No” Dean scoffed. “I didn’t do it.”

“You’ve done this before!” Sam argued. “When I was twelve and I accidently broke your Led Zep tape you were so mad at me you screwed with my shampoo then too.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Sam, I told you back then, that was just in your imagination.”

“You peed in it, Dean. You peed in my shampoo.”

“Dude, come on, that’s disgusting. I have standards” Dean said.

“Really!?” Sam said as he pointed at his head. “I don’t think you do!”

Dean sighed with frustration and stood up. “Alright, I did because I was really pissed about the whole fanfiction thing!”

“You asshole” Sam said his voice dangerously low. “I am going to get you back for this so hard you won’t know what hit you, and you won’t know where, and you won’t know when.”

He stormed out the room but Dean was just amused.

“I can’t take him seriously like that.”


	32. Underwear Etiquette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you’re all feeling okay. This rule comes from AW3SOM3 and it was so much fun to write XD I hope you like it! As always thank you for your continued support and suggestions :) x

**32\. Everyone MUST wear pants at the dinner table. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam’s expression immediately flipped from one of idleness to alarm when he walked down to the kitchen and saw his older brother.

Dean was strutting around the stove preparing dinner in his tightly fitted black boxers. His grey Henley shirt was still in place but his jeans had been discarded, puddled in the corner of the room. 

“Dean…Why don’t you have any pants on?” Sam asked cautiously; he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Well Sammy, if you’ve got it, flaunt it” Dean grinned at his brother and wriggled his hips. Sam quickly stuck his arms out to cover Dean’s lower half from his view and averted his eyes. “Oh, come on, you could at least be a little impressed” Dean said.

“You’re not exactly leaving much to the imagination” Sam complained with a grimace. 

“Don’t be such a prude” Dean scoffed. “I’ve only got what you’ve got….well, maybe not.”

“You know that could be an insult to yourself” Sam deadpanned.

“We both know it isn’t” Dean retaliated with a smirk.

“I don’t want to talk about my big brother’s…manhood!” Sam argued. “Just…put your pants back on, please?”

“No! For the first time in years we have our own place so if I wanna walk around in my underwear, then I’m gunna walk around in my underwear! I’m not hurting anybody.”

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. “Only your little brother’s mental state” he mumbled.

“Listen, I spilled sauce on my jeans, okay? I couldn’t leave the stove to get new pants” Dean told him.

“Fine” Sam huffed.

“Good. Now go get Cas; dinner is ready.”

Sam happily left in search of the former angel.

When he returned to the kitchen with Cas, Sam was a little disgruntled to see Dean already sat at the table still in his boxers. The younger Winchester made sure to sit on the opposite side of the table.

Castiel had paused in the middle of the room and was looking at Dean with his head slightly tilted. He wondered why the hunter was only in his boxers. Well, he supposed if people dressed up for dinner…

“I’m sorry; I didn’t know we were dressing down for dinner.”

Sam and Dean watched in amazement as the former angel unbuckled his belt and pulled his black dress pants all the way down to his ankles. He stepped out of them, picked them up, and then strode over to the table in his loose fitting white boxers. Castiel neatly folded his pants over the back of his chair before sitting down next to Dean. The former angel started to eat without a care.

Sam was looking at Castiel in astonishment whilst Dean was just looking smugly at his brother.

“Now you’re the odd one out” he teased.

Sam shot his brother an ultimate bitch face. “I don’t think this is how normal families dress at the dinner table” he said. 

“Yeah, well, we ain’t normal” Dean pointed out before eating a forkful of food.


	33. Bad Babysitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, gals, neither, or both, I hope you you’re all doing well! Today’s rule comes from Keb85. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for reading these silly little things :) 
> 
> Just a note about requests, I have a long list now (over 20 I would say!) but it seems poor Castiel is getting in a lot of trouble. He needs some rules to write about Sam and/or Dean! Help him out? X

**33\. Animals and small children must be accompanied by an adult (who is not Castiel). (Dean Winchester)**

Dean looked down at his little brother – his now exceptionally little brother – who was giggling and rolling around with the two ginger kittens Castiel seemed to have adopted (he’d named that after his favourite sandwich filling; they were Peanut and Butter). 

They had been out hunting a witch when she had hit Sam with a de-aging spell. Luckily Dean had managed to gank the bitch, but Sam hadn’t returned to normal, leaving him a wide eyed, bouncing three year old. They had returned to the bunker where the kittens had been waiting outside for Castiel. Now Sam was playing with them happily in Dean’s room, clearly not remembering how old he was supposed to be. 

“Well, at least he is actually more like your little brother” Castiel said. “You’re always complaining about that. You’re at least a good three feet taller than him now.” 

Dean shot the angel an unamused look. “Yeah, and a good thirty odd years older.”

“Stop!” Sam laughed hysterically at the kittens started to lick his cheeks vigorously.

“What are we going to do?” Dean asked Castiel.

“I would suggest searching the library for a reversal spell” the angel replied. “This isn’t something I can heal; technically he’s perfectly healthy.”

“Okay” Dean sighed. “I’ll go do the research. You stay here and watch Sam and the fur balls.”

“Yes, because my last adventure in babysitting went so well” Castiel said cynically. 

“Really? You understand how to use sarcasm now?”

“I hear enough of it from you” Castiel claimed.

“You’ll be fine, Smartass” Dean said before leaving the room.

\--------------------

It took Dean almost three hours of searching but he finally found the spell that they needed to turn Sam back to normal. He gathered up the ingredients they needed and then headed back up to his bedroom.

“I did it! I…”

The hunter froze when he saw the state that his bed was in. The kittens had managed to rip the pillows open with their claws, causing the feather contents to explode everywhere. Sam was jumping up and down on the bed, trying to catch the feathers which he was propelling into the air. Castiel was just sat back watching the chaos with a small smile on his face  
.  
“Cas!” Dean exclaimed with annoyance. He put the items he was carrying down and ran over to the bed, grabbing Sam around the waist and hoisting him up. “How could you let them wreck my bed like this!?”

“It was keeping them entertained” Castiel reasoned. He was petting Peanut and Butter who had come to cower beside him. 

Dean sighed with frustration. “But look at the mess!”

Castiel turned and did a quick scan of the room. 

“Um…I can maybe sew the pillows back together?” he offered.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Whatever, let’s just get Sam back” he said as he tried to hang onto the squirming boy in his arms. “He may be the kid, but after this you’re the one who’s grounded…”


	34. The Naked Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope that you are doing okay :) Thank you for all your great suggestions for Castiel, he appreciates it ;) Today’s rule is from the awesome AW3SOM3! There are some hints of destiel in this one, and I’m sorry if you wanted more explicitness but I wanted to keep it fairly PG13 (or 15, if you’re British like me.) Thanks for reading!

**34\. When going outdoors, you must wear clothes. (Sam Winchester)**

Dean and Castiel had been drinking for most of the afternoon; the result of nothing else to do. Both men were soundly drunk after several beers and shots of whiskey. 

At some point Dean had managed to coax Castiel into a game of truth or dare. 

Castiel had just finished eating a quarter of a jar of jalapeños, as Dean had dared him to.

“What is the point of this game again?” Castiel asked after waiting for some heat to ware off. 

“To humiliate each other” Dean slurred his response.

Castiel scoffed. “That’s stupid” he said as he absentmindedly ate another jalapeno. 

“Okay, my turn” Dean said impatiently as he tapped his hands on the table rhythmically.

“Truth or dare?” 

“Dare!”

“Alright, I dare you to….go outside naked with my bees.”

Dean frowned. “You mean like the time you showed up on my car?”

“Yes” Castiel nodded vigorously.

“Is there a particular reason you’re trying to get me out of my clothes?”

“No. Nudity it something unexpected outdoors, right? Therefore, it’s daring.”

Dean squinted a little. “I don’t think I like you getting to understand humans better.”

“Do you have something to be ashamed of?” Castiel asked.

“Nope” Dean said with a smirk as he stood up. “Gimme your coat and close your eyes.”

“Why do you want my coat?”

“Dude, I don’t want you to see everything” Dean said indicating below his waist.

“No, I don’t want your junk all over my coat” Castiel grimaced.

“Hey, you totally used junk right!” Dean said with a grin.

“Really? Awesome!” Castiel said impressed with himself. “You can just remove your clothes outside.”

“Alright, but you can’t look!” 

“But how will I know if you’ve done it?”

“Hey, I am a man of my word” Dean said jabbing the table top with his finger. “And I’ll probably be covered in bee stings…”

“Fine” Castiel said.

“Awesome. Let’s go!” Dean said as he dramatically pointed up the stairs.

\--------------------

Sam knew that his brother and Castiel were up to something as soon as he heard the childish snickering coming from down the hall. 

“What’s going on?” he asked when they started to pass by him.

“Nothing that concerns you” Dean said as he started to lift his shirt over his head.

Sam’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?” He sniffed the air and found the trail of alcoholic stench following behind them.

“I’m going out in my birthday suit” Dean said with a dopey grin, now with his shirt removed.

“No!” Sam exclaimed.

“I dared him to. He has to” Castiel claimed. 

“No one will see me” Dean scoffed. “We’re in the middle of nowhere!” 

“Dean, don’t you-”

“Sorry, Sammy!” Dean yelled over his shoulder as he started to run to the door, struggling out of his jeans as he did so.

Sam sat back in his chair with a groan

“Please don’t.”

“No, I am gunna be at one with nature” Dean said, only in his boxers now.

Sam didn’t want to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another note. I’m sorry if there are some days when I don’t update. I really try to update every day but sometimes I’m either super busy (unlikely) or my anxiety hits me so hard I don’t feel up to doing anything (much more likely. Unfortunately yesterday was one of those days.) I apologise for that, but do not worry, I am determined to write every rule you send me :)


	35. Ode To A Trench Coat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears! I hope you are well. So, a while ago IceCream3131 suggested a rule about stealing clothes and recently DPR and A.Zap suggested something similar about Castiel’s trench coat, so, here we are! It gets a little deep at the end. Hope you enjoy!

**35\. Do not steal Castiel’s trench coat without prior notice. (Castiel)**

Dean was passing Castiel’s room when he heard frantic muttering and a continuous thudding sound from within. The hunter knocked but didn’t wait for a reply before entering.

Castiel was knelt down by the bottom drawer of his bedside table frantically throwing out socks, underwear, and anything else it might contain. In fact, it seemed almost every draw had been emptied in an anxious rush, contents strewn over the bed. 

“Cas, what’s up?” Dean asked.

“I can’t find my coat.” The angel sounded angry and he had his blade clenched tightly in one hand. “Whatever took it will rue the day they stole from an angel of the lord.”

“Cas, I took” Dean said.

The angel spun around to face him. “What?”

“Um…okay, look…” Dean cautiously edged forward. “Let’s just….take this,” he slowly got Castiel to relinquish his grip on the angel blade, “And put it over here on the bed…away from the irrational angel.”

Castiel squinted at him. “Why did you take my coat? When did you take it?”

“Because it was dirty! So I put it in the washing machine to clean” Dean argued. “And I took it last night when I distracted you with those wildlife documentaries I bought.”

“So you didn’t get me those to be nice?” Castiel asked.

“Of course I got them because I thought you’d like them!” Dean retaliated. “They just so happened to have a convenient second use” he added with an innocent shrug. 

“Why didn’t you just ask me instead of stealing it?” Castiel countered.

“I didn’t steal it. I borrowed it to make it better for you” Dean reasoned. “I thought I was doing good. You hardly ever part with the thing; it might as well be sewn onto you.”

“Well, I don’t really have many other options” Castiel pointed out as he looked down at the little clothing he owned.

“We can go to a mall and get you more stuff if you want” Dean offered. “I mean, Sam and I ain’t exactly style gurus, hell, we see something we like and buy it in five different colours, but you’re right. You need more clothes.”

“Alright. Can we also go to a book store? They always smell wonderful.”

Dean smirked in amusement. “Yeah, sure.” Castiel seemed a lot happier now. “Why are you so attached to that coat anyways? The only things I think trench coats are good for is flashing people, and looking creepy on street corners asking passers-by if they wanna buy a watch.”

Castiel offered a small smile even though he wasn’t quite sure he understood. “It’s Jimmy’s” he replied simply. “After what I did to him…what I put his family through…it’s the least I can do to pay homage to him.”

Dean hadn’t thought of it that way. He offered Castiel a sympathetic smile and patted him on the back reassuringly. 

“I’m still mad at you for stealing it though” Castiel added. 

“We need have a talk about not ruining the moment” Dean replied.


	36. Unexpected Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! I hope you’re having a marvellous day. So, Autumn Alchemist suggested that I include Charlie into a story, so here she is! (We all know that thing that happened was just a collective nightmare we all had after too many magic mushrooms :3). I hope you like it!
> 
> PS. To answer your question, Coni, rules do not necessarily have to be for Sam, Dean and Cas (as this chapter shows) but they are the only ones living in the bunker at this time. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Xx

**36\. Do not shout ‘Halt! Who goes there?’ when encountering someone in the middle of the night. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean woke up in the middle of the night with his throat feeling dry. With a reluctant sigh he managed to pull himself from his bed so he could go to the kitchen and get himself a glass of water.

He kept rubbing his eyes as he walked down the dark hall, the only thing filling the silence being the sound of his own bare feet patting against the floor.

Suddenly, a bright light appeared from around the corner blinding Dean and causing him to move his arms to cover his face.

"What the hell!?"

"Halt! Who goes there?" A deep voice that Dean didn't recognise demanded.

The elder Winchester immediately stopped moving and raised his arms in surrender. "I... I...what?" He stammered with shock, and still being half asleep didn't help either.

"Oh, Dean. It's you" the voice replied much more light and familiar now.

"Charlie!" Dean exclaimed with surprise and annoyance as the redheads face became illuminated by the light on her phone.

"Sorry, I just heard you moving and I panicked" she said with a sheepish smile.

"You panicked" Dean said incredulously.

"Yeah. You can put your arms down now" Charlie added with smirk.

Dean looked at each arm as if he had only just realised what he was doing and then hastily dropped them to his sides.

"I...you didn't scare me" Dean mumbled with a petulant pout as he folded his arm across his chest.

"Yeah, never claimed that I did, Stud" Charlie teased.

"How'd you get in here anyway?" Dean asked trying to change the subject.

"Castiel let me in" Charlie replied.

"Of course" Dean said. "Well, I hope you're not looking for a vacation."

"Nah, but I was hoping I could stay for a few days?" Charlie asked with a sheepish look.

"Sure, you know you're always welcome here" Dean replied with a smile. "However, if you're staying then I have something to show you."

"Sounds riveting" Charlie said and then stepped aside so Dean could lead the way.

The elder Winchester took her to the empty room with their rules scribbled all over the walls.

"Bunker no-no’s" Dean said as he indicated the writing with his thumb. "Learn 'em, don't repeat 'em, and if you can make a rule you can also break a rule."

Charlie read through the list, her smile growing wider the further down she went.

"Wow, you guys have done some stuff" she said sounding impressed. "Is this the Men of Letters bunker or your frat house?"

"Hey, we're professionals" Dean assured her. "Whilst we're down here..." He picked up a pen and added the rule.

"Awesome, my first rule!" Charlie said eagerly.

"You're not supposed to be happy about it!" Dean protested.

"Whatever, I'm going to get you back though" Charlie claimed. "Same room, yeah?" She said and left without waiting for an answer.

Dean smiled to himself and shook his head.


	37. Film Fanatics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day to you all my fine young humans! Today’s rule is from ArtistKurai. I hope you enjoy! As always, thank you for reading and for your brilliant suggestions :) xx

**37\. All daytime television must then be followed by a classic Western film. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean made sure to let his annoyance be known as he paced up and down behind Sam and Castiel making frustrated huffing noises and overly dramatic sighs of boredom.

His younger brother and their angel had been watching typical daytime TV shows on Sam’s laptop since they got up; things such as games shows and soap operas (including the Spanish one Sam liked to deny he was fond of.) Castiel had said he wanted to learn about the various genres of film and TV, but Dean wanted to contribute his favourites too, and he’d been waiting impatiently all afternoon.

“Why don’t you just sit and watch with us?” Castiel suggested after a while of just allowing Dean to sulk.

“I don’t wanna watch this crap, I wanna educate you in the classics” Dean argued.

Sam scoffed with a mixture of amusement and disbelief. “Seriously? You think this is crap but Doctor Sexy is totally for those with a high intellect.”

“It’s a medical show, Sam” Dean said snidely. “It requires some level of brainpower, yes. It’s educational.”

“Oh, well in that case why did I even bother going to learn law at Stanford when I could just watch Suits now instead” Sam said sarcastically.

“Well, you clearly don’t understand the premise of Suits” Dean said bluntly. “Anyway, you’ve had enough time with Cas watching this stuff. I’ve got a bunch of awesome movies lined up to show him.”

“What sort of movies?” Castiel asked inquisitively. 

“Westerns, dude!” Dean said an excited grin, spreading his arms out as if in presentation. “Clint Eastwood, John Wayne; they’re the best actors in my favourite movies of all time and I guarantee you’ll love them.”

“You gunna put on your cosplay to watch them?” Sam teased.

Dean frowned. “What the hell is cosplay?” 

“Like, those bitchin’ outfits you bought when we went back to see Samuel Colt.”

Dean just looked at his brother with disbelief and shook his head a little. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about but these movies are the greatest, and those guys are my heroes, okay. I don’t insult your hero.”

“That’s because it’s you, Dean” Sam said looking up at his brother with fake puppy dog eyes. “You are my hero.”

Dean puffed his chest out a little and put his hands on his hips. “I know you’re mocking me, but damn straight.”

“If I could have a say in my own viewing habits?” Castiel finally butted him. Both of the Winchesters turned to face him. “I think it would be acceptable if I watch one of Dean’s movies every day after I watch daytime TV with Sam.”

“Alright” Dean conceded. “But I’m going to hold you to it by making it a rule.”

“Great” Castiel said with a small smile.

Dean clapped his hands together like an enthusiastic kid and went to gather up his DVD collection.


	38. The Little Merman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings! I hope you are all well. cheryl24 suggested that I write something about mermaids and well…yeah. You’ll just have to read it ;) Thank you for your awesome suggestions and prompts! Xx

**38\. Read in your head. Accidently turning your brother into a Merman is a hassle. (Castiel)**

“Sam, I swear to god when I get my legs back I’m gunna kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit down for years.”

“I told you I’m sorry!” Sam stressed. 

“Sorry isn’t going to get rid of this!”

The water in the bathtub rippled as Dean flicked the scaly turquoise tail where his legs should have been. Sam had been reading from one of the books in the library when he had inadvertently turned Dean into some kind of human/fish hybrid. Sam and Cas had had to haul Dean into the bathtub and fill it with water before he dehydrated.

“We’re working on it” Sam promised.

“Cas, tell me you’ve found something” Dean said with disappear.

The angel was scouring the book trying to find a reversal spell. His brow was furrowed with deep concentration. 

“I don’t know. I can’t read it. Sam read out the only part in English.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “You can’t read it!?” he exclaimed in outrage. “You’ve been looking at it for twenty minutes!”

“There are some words which appear similar in other languages” Castiel claimed. “I’m certain that means silver…that’s either a duck or a spoon…”

Dean groaned and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“Dean, we’re going to fix this” Sam said.

“Well do it faster!”

“Gabriel” Castiel suddenly said.

“What?” Sam frowned.

“Archangels have been around since the beginning of any written language. Maybe he can decipher this.”

“Fine, but don’t you dare let that dick know what’s happened to me!” Dean warned.

“Okay. I’ll go summon him.”

\--------------------

“Well, this is a surprise, little brother” Gabriel said with a smirk as he arrived in the bunker. 

“I need you to translate this for me” Castiel said, blunt and to the point. “I’m looking for a reversal ritual.”

“I knew you always skipped out of Michael’s language class.” 

Castiel folded his arms across his chest. “Gabriel, this is important. I don’t have time for you being an ass.”

“Fine” Gabriel huffed as he snatched the book. “But this means you owe me.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

After Gabriel had written down the translation he handed it over to Castiel.

“Which poor bastard is this for anyway?” 

“None of your business.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened slightly and a smile spread across his face.

“No. Way.”

“Gabriel-”

Before Castiel could say anything else the archangel vanished. He sighed and popped up in the bathroom next to his older brother who was grinning like a maniac.

“Oh, that is hilarious.” 

“Don’t make me banish you, Gabriel” Castiel threatened. 

“Never mind that, stab him!” Dean commanded as he tried to curl in on himself in a weak attempt to hide.

“Alright I’m going” Gabriel said raising his hands in surrender. “But, I will never forget this.”

He disappeared just as Dean threw a bottle of shampoo in his direction.

“Here, it’s a simple procedure” Castiel said handing Sam the paper with the spell written on. “I’m going to the wall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think that I am going to have to put a freeze on accepting prompts for now because I have over 50 to get through 0_0, so, it’s going to take a while. Let me work through a load and then I can open it up again, I just don’t want people to feel like they’re waiting forever. Sorry for that :(
> 
> See ya tomorrow! x


	39. Fanboy Fury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you’re having a good day :) SV suggested that I write a rule about Doctor Sexy. 
> 
> A couple of things about this chapter. Firstly, I wrote this month’s ago before the first part was a Tumblr meme I s2g XD Secondly, I know it’s OOC but Fanboy Dean is very important to me :3 
> 
> I hope you like it and thank you for reading! Xx

**39\. Do not mock the great name of Dr. Sexy M.D. (Dean Winchester)**

“Hello, Sam. Have you seen Dean?” Castiel asked. 

“No, actually” Sam mused. “I’ll find him for you.” He cupped his hands around his mouth and proceeded to shout down the hall. “Doctor Sexy is a load of garbage!”

Castiel looked at him confused but Sam held up a finger to signal he should wait. Sure enough, a door slammed and seconds later Dean stormed into the room.

“Okay, first of all that man is a pure genius-” the older Winchester started to argue.

“Dean, I have something to discuss.” Castiel interrupted.

“Just wait a sec-”

“Dean, I don’t care!” Castiel exclaimed. “The programme sounds stupid with no benefit.”

The older Winchester clenched his jaw and looked sadly at Castiel before leaving the room.

“Wow, you really upset him” Sam said.

“How? You insulted the doctor too!”

“Yeah, but I’m his little brother. It’s accepted that I can piss him off. You’re his best friend.”

Castiel sighed; it seemed Dean’s emotions were more complex than he thought.

\-------------------

When Castiel went up to Dean’s room later that evening he found the door open with the hunter laid down on his bed reading a magazine. The angel knocked on the door anyway and waited for permission to enter. When Dean didn’t speak up Castiel knew that he had to. 

“Dean? May I talk to you for a moment?”

The older Winchester sighed heavily and sat up on his bed, placing the magazine on the bedside table. He looked at Castiel expectantly and the angel actually found himself feeling a little nervous. 

“I clearly upset you by insulting Doctor Sexy. Humanity has taught me that friendship is important and…you are my friend so the things you like should be important to me. I don’t know anything about Doctor Sexy, but I would like to change that. So, I thought maybe we could watch it together?”

Dean was dubious but when he looked into those god damn wide blue eyes he knew that Castiel was being genuine. 

“Alright, but we better get started. The new season starts in a couple of weeks.”

Castiel smiled with relief. “Good. Also, I was looking it up on the internet and I found that Doctor Sexy was actually at a convention next week not too far away. So, Sam helped me buy tickets because I thought maybe you’d like to go…”

His eyes widened with surprise when Dean jumped up from his bed and wrapped his arms tightly around him, pinning the angel’s arms to his side. 

“Cas, you know you’re my best friend, right?”

“Yes, Dean.” The angel awkwardly tried to pat the older Winchester on the back. They stood like this for a few more moments until Castiel got fidgety. “Uh, Dean, personal space?”

The hunter immediately let go and cleared his throat; Castiel sensed that he was embarrassed.

“Touché” Dean mumbled.

“Let’s go and get started?” Castiel suggested.

“Awesome, you’re going to love it!” Dean said excitedly. “But, I just have to do something first…”


	40. Who You Gunna Call?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! I hope you are doing good now and forever. So, Jess- Cast1800 left me a comment which just said “Ghostbusters”, so I’ve taken it as a prompt XD (FYI, I love this movie.)I hope you like it, and thank you so much for reading! Xx

**40\. Discourteous movie references are not an appropriate way to answer the phone. (Jody Mills)**

Dean was sat at the table eating a sandwich and Castiel was reading next to him when Sam entered the room with some papers in his hand.

“Hey, I was just cataloguing some of the stuff in the supply rooms. Did you know that there are actually seven other types of rare ghost we haven’t even come across yet? There’s a bunch of interesting accounts and different ways to gank them. Like, you can create these chemical compounds using-” 

“Thank you for that boring insight, Doctor Spengler, but I’ll pass” Dean interrupted.

Sam gave his bother a trademark bitch face whilst Castiel simply frowned. 

“Who is Doctor Spengler? Is he one of your personas?”

“No, but he totally should be!” Dean grinned at his brother.

“He’s a character from a movie called Ghostbusters” Sam explained as he sat down opposite Cas.

“Oh…is it based on real events?” Castiel asked.

“No” Dean said. “It was made in the eighties. It’s like the one film that everyone knows is terrible, but they don’t care because that’s why it’s awesome.”

Castiel just looked more confused. “I think I will have to watch it.”

“Sure” Sam said as he pulled over his laptop. 

“This is why I’m good at what I do. I ain’t afraid of no ghost” Dean sang. Castiel looked confused again. Dean rolled his eyes. “Just watch it.”

\--------------------

“That was entertaining” Castiel concluded once the credits started the roll. “Have you ever had to face something like the marshmallow man?”

“I once thought so” Dean mused. “Man, would I have liked to take down that son of a bitch” he said darkly and then took an aggressive swig of his beer. Sam and Castiel shared a slightly disturbed look. 

Dean’s phone suddenly started ringing in his pocket.

“Ghostbusters whaddya want?” Dean answered the call impersonating the receptionist from the movie. There was a pause as whoever it was spoke and then Dean cringed and cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh, yeah….hey…sorry, Jody.”

Sam sniggered with amusement knowing that the sheriff must have been giving his brother a scolding for being impolite. Dean pulled a face back at Sam that told him to simply shut up.

“A case... Uh-huh…Okay, we’ll meet you down there in a couple of hours….Yeah, he’s right here.” Dean held his phone out to Sam. “She wants to talk to you.”

Sam leered at his brother as he took the phone. “Hey, Jody…yeah he is always that immature.” Dean went to snatch the phone back off Sam but the taller man stood up and weaved out of the way. “Yeah….sure I can do that for you….Okay, I’ll see you later. Bye.”

“What did she say?” Dean demanded as soon as Sam hung up and he grabbed his phone back. 

“I told her about the wall a while back and she asked if I could write something on it for her.”

“What?” Dean asked with a frown.

“You’ll see” Sam smirked.


	41. Things Go Wobbly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day to you fluffy ducks! I hope everything is going A-Okay. Today’s rule was a Guest suggestion. It’s a little more angsty than the other’s but I hope you like it all the same. Thank you for reading and for your encouraging reviews :) xx

**41\. Do not use dad's journal to prop up uneven table legs. (Dean Winchester)**

Sam was doing some research in one of the rooms in the bowels of the bunker. He didn’t know exactly how long he’d been there but it was Dean who eventually found him. 

“Finally, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” he complained. “You hungry? I was gunna make pasta.”

Sam hadn’t taken much notice of the empty feeling in his stomach until Dean proposed food.

“Yeah, sure” he replied.

Dean approached to see what Sam was reading. It was only when he got a couple of feet away he saw the leather bound book underneath one of the table legs.

“Is that dad’s journal?” Dean asked angrily. “What the hell man!?”

“The table leg was uneven and it was the only thing the right size to stop it from wobbling” Sam explained.

“How could you do that?” Dean asked with disbelief.

He snatched the journal out and the whole table tilted, causing all the work Sam had done and the old books to tumble onto the floor.

“Why’d you do that!?” Sam said just as angry as Dean was as he stood up from his chair.

“What makes you think it’s okay to abuse one of the only things we have to remember our dad by?!”

“Dean, it’s fine!” Sam argued. “It hasn’t even left a dent. You seriously think I would let something bad happen to it?” 

“I don’t know, Sam, I mean you always had your problems with him! Do you really hate dad this much, though?”

Sam looked speechless. “How could you say that? How _dare_ you say that?!” 

The younger Winchester stormed out of the room before he said something he would _really regret._ Dean growled with frustration and kicked some of the papers across the room. 

\--------------------

Dean had been brooding in his room; he and Sam hadn’t spoken all night. He was mad at his brother for disrespecting their dad like that, but he also knew he shouldn’t have said those things to Sam either.

His bedroom door suddenly burst open and Castiel marched in.

“Cas, now isn’t-”

“Sam told me what happened. You two need to talk.”

“I don’t-”

“This is not up for debate.”

Dean was startled when Castiel grabbed his ear and forced him to get up from the bed.

“Ow, Cas, get off me!”

The angel ignored him though as he practically dragged Dean down the hall and then shoved him into Sam’s room.

“Don’t come out until this is sorted” he commanded and then shut the door.

There was a stubborn silence between both brother’s for a few moments, but it was Sam who finally spoke first.

“I didn’t mean to disrespect dad… I still miss him sometimes.”

Dean sighed and sat down on the end of the bed. “I know. I didn’t mean what I said about you hating him. Hell, I had my issues with him too.”

“So…we’re good?” Sam asked hopefully.

“Yeah, we’re good” Dean replied sincerely. “But, just to be on the safe side…”


	42. Beware The Samsquatch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I hope you’re feeling well. Soulhearts mentioned something about Charlie getting the boys into some Larping, so, I had to write a lil’ story about it ;) I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! Xx

**42\. Do not use old pie boxes to build a fort. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam and Castiel arrived home from their supply run to find a pile of systematically stacked boxes in the entrance room. The hunter and angel shared a confused look before making their way down the stairs.

"Dean!" Sam called to see if he could get some kind of explanation.

He and Castiel were both startled when Dean's head appeared from within the boxes. He was followed by Charlie.

"Hey, Cas! Sam" the redhead grinned, nodding to each man in turn.

""Hello, Charlie" Castiel smiled back.

"What's going on here?" Sam asked.

"We built a fort out of old pie boxes. Duh" Dean replied.

"That would explain all the crumbs" Castiel mused as he looked around at the litter surrounding his feet.

"Yeah, and that slight smell of mould" Sam added with a somewhat disgusted face. "Wait, why did you guys build a fort?"

"To practise for our next LARPing tournament" Charlie explained.

"What is that?" Castiel asked with a curious head tilt.

"You can come up with your own character - like something mythical or a knight, and then you act out quests like saving princesses and hunting trolls" Charlie explained excitedly.

"It's pretty awesome" Dean beamed.

"And you say I'm a geek" Sam scoffed and his brother shot him a frown.

"That sounds...fun" Castiel decided and then took a serious step forward. "I would like permission to join your quest."

"Permission granted!" Charlie said.

"What exactly is the quest?" Castiel asked.

"To protect our fort from the evil giant, Samsquatch" Dean said glaring at his younger brother.

"Hey!" Sam protested.

"He is no match for the two bravest warriors of the land and an angel of the Lord" Charlie proclaimed.

"I don't want to be an angel" Castiel pouted.

"Okay....well how about our noble prince?" Charlie suggested.

"A prince?" Castiel asked his eyes glistening with awe.

"Sure, and we are your humble servants" Dean said as he and Charlie bowed.

"I like this game" Castiel announced.

"Now we need a strategy to rid the oversized beast" Charlie stated with a ponderous frown.

"No need, the giant is leaving" Sam said throwing his hands up in defeat.

"Aw, come on, Sam" Dean moaned. "We're just messing around."

"Whatever" Sam said with a wave of dismissal as he left the room. "Just clean up after yourselves!" He called.

"I have a feeling it's the wall for us" Charlie sighed.

"Nah, he'll be fine" Dean said. "Come on, we need to finish the exit..."

The older Winchester was more than disgruntled when he went down to see the wall a few hours later.

“No fun” he mumbled to himself.


	43. You Won't Win The War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sunbeams! I hope everything is well with you. Today’s rule is from FIGHTTHEFAIRIES (great name btw ;)). I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> A note about the length of these stories. I’m sorry if some of them seem to end quite abruptly, I try to prevent that happening as much as possible. I have set myself a 500 word limit for these because a) I have severe OCD and want them to be of similar lengths, b) it’s more a challenge for myself and c) because they are so short it means I can usually get one written every day. I hope that clears stuff up a little, and I apologise to anyone who finds it irritating XD 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and for your comments :) xx

**43\. Prank wars are forbidden in the bunker. (Castiel)**

Castiel had been alert all week. He knew that Sam and Dean were deep in one of their notorious prank wars, several of which had backfired and made Castiel the victim. He had already inadvertently brushed his teeth with garlic paste because Sam had switched it out, and had a bucket of water fall on his head which Dean had put on Sam’s doorframe. They were childish and Castiel didn’t understand it. 

So, when he returned to the bunker one evening to find it in an unusual silence Castiel knew the brothers were off plotting. 

The angel headed down to the kitchen to put away the food supplies Dean had asked for. When Castiel opened the door of the fridge he jumped back with a startled gasp. Apparently Dean had thought it would be funny to put a creepy clown mask in there to scare his brother. 

Castiel frowned. He was now both tired and annoyed with all this. 

He headed back up the stairs and called Sam and Dean into the hall. The two brothers trudged in like mopey teenagers who knew they were in serious trouble with their dad. 

Castiel made them take a seat as he stood at the head of the table.

“I don’t know why the two of you think it’s necessary to try and outdo each other with these silly tricks, but I have had enough of being on the receiving end of them.”

“Sorry, Cas, we don’t mean for them to happen to you” Sam replied sincerely.

“Yeah” Dean agreed. “It’s so I can get back at this douchebag” he said indicating to his brother.

“Hey, you started it when you decided to dye my hair!” Sam argued.

“There must be a more mature way to settle things” Castiel said. “You fight enough wars as it is without having them at home as well.”

“No, he wants to prank me like a little kid then I’m going to return the favour” Dean said.

“You. Started. It.” Sam maintained through gritted teeth.

“Well I find that unacceptable” Castiel said. “Therefore I will be writing a rule prohibiting it.”

“What? You can’t do that!” Dean exclaimed. “Pranks are what, like; half of our relationship is based on.”

“Yeah, this is how we bond” Sam scoffed as if it were obvious.

There was a minute of silence as Castiel mused over that.

“That’s stupid” he concluded bluntly before leaving the room.

“Great. Now what are we supposed to do?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know” Dean mumbled. “Wait until we’re on the road I guess.”

“Or…” Sam said as he leaned in towards his brother a little. “We just be more discrete. Cas doesn’t have to know. They could just be unfortunate accidents that we don’t know for certain was fixed up by one of us.” 

“Alright” Dean agreed. “So it’s still on.”

“Yup.”

“Great….Hey, could you be a good little brother and go get me a beer out of the fridge, please?”


	44. Totes Emosh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my little cherubs! I hope you are feeling great. So, today’s rule is from Pirate Nevaeh. Now, I changed it a little as the original rule called for Cas to not be allowed to ever watch Disney movies D: I didn’t want to be mean, everyone needs some Disney sometimes! XD I hope you still like it though! Thank you for the suggestion and to everyone else for reading and commenting xx 
> 
> P.S Cutie patootie Cas gives makes me feel good ^_^

**44\. Castiel is only allowed to watch one Disney movie a week. (Dean Winchester)**

When Dean realised he hadn’t seen or even heard Castiel all day he decided to head up to the angel’s room to check that he was okay. From outside Castiel’s bedroom Dean could hear the muffled sounds of people talking; he figured the angel must be watching something on his laptop.

Dean knocked but didn’t wait for a reply before opening the door. He started to speak before he even saw Castiel. 

“Hey, are you-”

Dean stopped when he actually saw the angel. Castiel was sat on his bed with the duvet wrapped around him. The only parts of him that were visible were his eyes, the tip of his nose, and a tuft of hair. His eyes were wide in a sad kind of way as he stared at the screen.

“You look like a burrito” Dean commented. “Whatcha watching?” he asked as he approached the bed and leaned over the edge to look at the screen. Dean frowned. “Bambi?” he asked confused.

The lump that was Castiel nodded. Dean realised that the angel had a bunch of Disney DVDs on the nightstand next to him.

“Where’d you get all those?” Dean asked.

Castiel unravelled himself out of his cocoon enough so that he could speak.

“Charlie sent them to me. She said I must watch them, but they are all so sad.”

“I guess” Dean said as he sat down and sifted through them. “But they all have a happy ending, right?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t make the story any less gloomy” Castiel claimed. “Like this one. Why were the humans so cruel? Why did they have to kill Bambi’s mother? And the one with the little elephant, why did they lock away his mother when she was just trying to protect him?”

“Well it uh…makes it more dramatic I guess” Dean said. “Have you always been this soft about animals?”

“I care for them, ever since my older brother told me not to step on the fish.”

Dean frowned. “Is that a metaphor?”

“No, it was a fish with legs” Castiel replied matter-of-factly. Dean didn’t want to know anything else about that. 

“Yeah, I use to stick Sammy in front of these all the time when he was a kid” the hunter remembered. “Man, he used to cry at the one about Dalmatians. You know? The mean lady kidnaps the puppies and wants to skin them to-” he stopped when he realised it was just making the tears swimming in Castiel’s eyes build up even more. “Sorry, not helping” he mumbled.

“Th…they make me sad” Castiel said. Dean noticed his bottom lip start to quiver.

“No, no, no. Cas, don’t do that. I can’t deal with that” Dean said frantically. “Stop that!” he hissed. 

The angel sniffed and whipped his eyes.

“Okay, clearly you don’t know how to handle this kind of…. emotional turmoil yet. So I think it’s best you handle it in moderate proportions, okay?”

Castiel nodded. “I think that’s for the best.”


	45. A Complete Car Crash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful sun flowers! I hope that life is treating you well. Today’s rule is from lovely Lia. I hope that you like it! Thank you for the suggestion, and thank you to everyone for reading and leaving such motivating comments :) xx

**45\. Do not play car crash sound effects to wake me up. (Dean Winchester)**

Sam and Castiel had been waiting all morning for Dean to get up so that they could go on a hunt. Their patience did eventually wear thin and they headed up to the older Winchester’s room to get him up.

Dean was sound asleep. Sam and Castiel could hear him snoring softly and the covers were bobbing up and down in motion with his breathing. Castiel stepped forward to go and wake Dean, but Sam held him back.

“Hang on, I could have some fun with this” he whispered with a mischievous smirk.

Castiel watched curiously as Sam crept over to the side of his brother’s bed. The younger Winchester searched for something on his phone for a few moments before holding it close to Dean’s ear. Sam pressed a button and loud screeching noises which sounded like a car crashing emitted right into Dean’s earlobe.

“Dean! Oh my god the car!” Sam yelled.

Dean was startled awake. “Baby! Baby, are you okay?!”

The older Winchester was panting heavily as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He still felt half asleep and it took him a minute or so to realise he wasn’t in the Impala at all. Had he dreamed it? 

“What? What the hell just happened?” He looked up and saw his brother and Castiel. “What are you guys doing in here?”

“We needed to wake you up for a hunt” Castiel explained. “Sam intervened.”

“By making me think I’d crashed my Baby?!” Dean exclaimed with disbelief. “Why would you do that!?”

“No particular reason” Sam shrugged. “Just putting some revenge in the bank for whatever you do to me next.”

Dean glared at his brother. “Do I have to remind you that I almost died in a car accident?”

“I know, but that was almost ten years ago, and you’ve actually died a lot since then” Sam pointed out. “Besides, I should be offended that you asked if your car was okay before me.”

“Yeah, well, I was sleeping…and… ”Dean’s mouth moved speechlessly as he tried to think of a good defence. “You’re an asshole!” was what he decided on. “What the hell, Sam? Did you lose your soul again or something?”

“Yeah, I traded it for some magic beans” Sam replied sarcastically. 

“Would the pair of you please stop arguing” Castiel stepped in. “We need to go.”

“Fine, but I’m writing about this on the wall first” Dean said. “Now get out so I can change” he demanded.

“Oh, did a little pee come out?” Sam teased.

“No, you bitch!” Dean yelled as he threw one of the pillows hard at his brother. Sam laughed as he hurried out of the room. “He is so going to pay” Dean seethed as he got up from the bed. “Uh, Cas…” he said as the angel turned to leave. Castiel pivoted back to him. “My car is okay, right?”

“Yes, Dean” Castiel assured him.

Dean sighed with relief. “Good.”


	46. Don't Go Into The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dearests! I hope you are all doing well. Today’s rule is from Andrea! Poor Cas, he tries so hard :’) I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the suggestion, and to everyone who gives me awesome comments, they really motivate me to write ^_^ xx

**46\. Saving the planet does not mean turning all the lights off in a WINDOWLESS bunker. (Sam Winchester)**

When Sam headed down to the main hall of the bunker one morning he was confused to find it in complete darkness. The only reason they could tell what time of day it was in the windowless shelter was the clocks and they said it was ten in the morning. Castiel should be around somewhere; he liked to be down there reading by eight.

Sam fumbled about in the darkness trying to find the light switch. Suddenly, a light appeared beside him and Castiel’s face appeared like a ghostly illumination. 

“Sam.”

The younger Winchester yelped with surprise and stumbled back into a chair. He fell to the ground with a thud and a groan. Castiel came over and shone the torch he was holding down at him.

“Are you alright?”

“Ah, no!” Sam squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away slightly. “Stop pointing that thing at me” he said as he tried to use his hand as a shield from the brightness.

“Sorry.” Castiel pointed the torch elsewhere and helped Sam to his feet.

“What’s the deal?” Sam asked. “We have a power cut or something?”

“No, I watched a documentary last night which got me very concerned about the amount of energy we consume. It’s not good for the environment, so, I switched off all the lights for preservation.”

Sam took a deep breath. “Cas, I know that you want to help save the planet however you can, and I don’t know if angels have super sight or something, but Dean and I can’t see in this kind of darkness. We need the lights on.”

“Oh…okay” Castiel said sounding disappointed.

“Hey, there are other ways you can help” Sam assured him. He felt bad for the angel. “Like, watching how much water we use, putting the washing machine on a low temperature, recycling food packaging...”

“Alright, those seem feasible” Castiel said, perking up again at the idea that he could still help.

“Good” Sam smiled. “Now, let’s get the lights back on.”

\--------------------

A little later on Sam went to get a shower and he was halfway through washing his hair when the light suddenly shut off. Sam growled with frustration. He was about to try and stumble his way over to the switch when the door suddenly flew open and the lights were turned back on. Sam looked up mortified to see his brother stood there. 

“Dean, get out!” hr yelled as he dove behind the shower curtain to try and cover himself.

“Wh…uh…sorry, there wasn’t a light on…I…sorry” Dean stammered with equal embarrassment before he fled the room, slamming the door behind him.

Castiel had just been on his way to tell Sam he’d put the bathroom light on a timer and forgotten to turn it off. When Dean walked past him with a slightly haunted look on his face Castiel sensed that he was too late.

“It seems I’ve caused more trouble than done good” the angel mused. “Again” he added with a sigh.


	47. Home Comforts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweet peas! How are you today? This rule comes from the wonderful DPR. All I will say is that adorable Cas is adorable. Thank you so much for the suggestion and for everyone’s continued support ^_^ xx

**47\. Moulting is not allowed in Dean's room - except stated otherwise. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean headed down to the main hall to ask Castiel if he wanted to come on a hunt. When he arrived he was alarmed to find the angel grunting as he rubbed his back up and down the corner of one of the stone pillars. There was also a collection of different sized feathers collected around his feet.

“Cas, what are you doing?”

The angel quickly pushed himself away from his scratching post and awkwardly brushed himself down.

“I’m moulting again” Castiel mumbled embarrassedly. “My wings itch terribly, and when I moult I lose some of my angelic quality because my wings loose some power, so I’m quite tired.”

“Okay, well, maybe you should stay here and take care of that, get some rest. Sam and I were just heading out to a salt-and-burn nearby. We shouldn’t be too long.”

“Are you sure?” Castiel asked as he grimaced and tried to reach back to scratch again. 

“Yeah, it’s cool” Dean assured him. “You just…do what you gotta do.”

Castiel nodded and started to gather up his fallen feathers. Dean went to finish preparing for the hunt.

\--------------------

“Why can’t it just be easy for once?” Dean complained as he and Sam returned many hours later. 

“We got jumped at the graveyard, and the body wasn’t enough; we had to locate an object. What else is new?” Sam replied grumpily. “Man, I’m tired.”

“Me too” Dean said. “I can’t wait to get comfy on my memory foam mattress. It remembers me, you know?” 

Sam smirked amusedly. “Right, ‘cause you’ve never mentioned that before.”

The brother’s said goodnight and headed off to their rooms. When Dean got to his he was surprised to see the lamp was switched on. When he opened the door he found Castiel sound asleep on his bed.

The angel was curled up tightly in the middle and had built himself a nest out of sheets, pillows, and some of Sam and Dean’s shirts. There were also black feathers dotted all over the place.

“Dean?” Castiel said sleepily as he woke up after sensing another presence in the room.

“What are you doing on my bed?” Dean asked. “There are feathers everywhere!”

“I’m sorry. Back in heaven when an angel goes through a phase like this they build a nest and surround themselves with things that comforted them.”

“And you’re comforted by plaid and over shirts?” Dean asked as he tugged at one of his garments. 

“No, by you and Sam” Castiel said with a yawn. Now Dean felt really bad for the angel. “I’m sorry, do you wish for me to move?”

Dean wanted to say yes, but dammit the angel looked so tired and his eyes were wide and pleading. 

“No, you can stay here. You’ve got a good setup” Dean conceded. “But just this once, and clean up in the morning!”

“Okay. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean waved his hand dismissively before grabbing some stuff he needed and heading off to another room.


	48. Be Even More Afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all of you beautiful sunbeams! How is you today? CompanionOfTen is the provider of today’s rule. When the Impala is involved, fear the wrath of Dean. I hope you like it! Thank you for the suggestion, and to everyone else for reading and for the encouraging comments ^_^ xx

**48\. Do not scratch my baby. EVER. (Dean Winchester)**

Castiel was sat reading when the bunker door burst over and Sam hurried over to the balcony.   
“Hey, Cas, could you come outside for a sec?”

Castiel frowned in a mixture of curiosity and confusion as he closed his book and headed up the stairs. Sam had already gone back outside and was pacing by the impala, nervously running his fingers through his hair.

“What’s the problem?” Castiel asked.

“Okay, I was at the store and I saw these two teenage boys shoplifting. I told them if they didn’t put everything back I would tell the manager and he’d probably call the cops. So, they returned the stuff and left. Anyway, they must have seen me get out of the car because when I got back to it later…well…”

Sam opened the driver’s side door and Castiel’s eyes widened with alarm. The word ‘Dick’ had been engraved into the panel along with several other long deep scratches.

“Dean is going to, uh…freak?” Castiel said.

“Big time!” Sam exclaimed. “He’ll just think I’m pranking him again. There’s no way he’s going to believe I didn’t do this! ” 

Castiel tilted head slightly and raised a questioning eyebrow. Sam put his hands on his hips and tried to stare back at him nonchalantly, but he soon cracked.

“Okay! I did one small one because the damage was already done, but that’s it!” he insisted.

Castiel sighed and went over to inspect the damage.

“I don’t think we’re going to be able to fix this before Dean finds out” he said. “You’ll just have to face him.”

“Why? When you wrecked it we didn’t see you for two weeks afterwards.”

Castiel looked like he was trying to formulate a response. “Okay, fair enough” he finally conceded.

The bunker door suddenly opened and Dean stepped out carrying a bucket. Sam and Castiel quickly shut the car door and stood in front to hide the damage.

“Hey, big brother!” Sam called over with a wave.

“Hey, what are you guys doing out here?” Dean asked.

“Just getting some fresh air” Castiel said. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I was gunna wash my baby” Dean said holding up the bucket full of water and a sponge. There was a moment of silence as Dean looked at them suspiciously. “This seems disturbingly familiar…”

“Really? I don’t know what you’re talking about” Sam replied. “Do you, Cas?” The angel just shook his head.

“Whatever” Dean scoffed. “Could you move out of the way please?”

“Yeah, sure, Cas and I have a thing to go to anyway, right?” Sam said looking desperately at the angel.

“Uh, right” Castiel went along with him. 

“Where-” Dean started to ask, but Sam cut him off. 

“Don’t know how long we’ll be. Okay, bye!” 

Castiel put his hand on Sam’s shoulder and they disappeared.

Dean rolled his eyes and walked over to his car. When he saw the door he dropped the bucket in shock. 

“You bastards!” he yelled to the sky.


	49. Absolutely Stuffed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dearests! I hope you are doing well. Today’s rule is from Tris PhantomEvans. I hope you don’t mind I’ve tweaked it a little. I have to say I’m pretty pleased with this one XD Thank you so much for the suggestion! And thank you to everyone for reading and leaving such uplifting reviews :) xx

**49\. Dean is not allowed to consume more than 5 pies per day. (Castiel)**

When Castiel was walking past Dean’s room one evening he wasn’t sure if he should be concerned or disturbed as the slightly pained groans he heard coming from within. The door was slightly ajar, so the angel pushed it open and found Dean sprawled out on his bed. He had one hand rubbing his stomach whilst the other arm hung limply off the side of the mattress. Castiel frowned.

“Dean, are you alright?” He received another groan in response. “I don’t know what that means.”

“I’m fine” Dean insisted.

“You don’t sound like it” Castiel stated as he went closer to the bed.

“I may have eaten a few more pies today than I should have” Dean replied as he looked up distantly at the ceiling. 

“And how many would that be?” Castiel asked.

“It was…less than ten….but more than five.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “Dean, that’s absurd. Why would you eat that many in a day?”

“Oh, shut up, at least it wasn’t in the low hundreds” Dean argued with a very strained impression of Castiel.

“Yes, but I’m an angel. My grace took care of that so I didn’t have to suffer like this” Castiel said making a sweeping gesture towards Dean. 

“I’m not suffering” Dean insisted. “It was totally worth it.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “I personally don’t see how.”

There were a few minutes of silence as Dean just massaged his aching belly and Castiel looked on with exasperation and disbelief.

“This is it” Dean eventually spoke again. “This is how I’m going to die.”

“I feel no sympathy for you” Castiel deadpanned.

“You don’t feel a lot of things” Dean’s responded. “Besides, it’s better than dying at the hands of some evil son of a bitch” he added.

“Okay, well, this is unacceptable” Castiel claimed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“Asking the Google if it has any solutions” Castiel said as he concentrated hard on the screen.

“No, just leave me to die in peace.”

“Now you’re just being melodramatic.”

“That’s a big concept for an emotionless angel.”

“I grew up with Gabriel. Of course I know what melodrama is.”

Dean shrugged and stuck his bottom lip out a little as if to say ‘fair enough.’

“Okay, it suggests that you should do some light exercises to help aid digestion.”

“No movement” Dean groaned. “Besides, I already burned five hundred calories this morning.”

“Really? You went for a jog or something?”

“No, I forgot about the first pie I put in the oven” Dean replied seriously. Castiel rolled his eyes. “So I ate another two to make up for it.”

Castiel sighed. “Okay, you clearly don’t want to be helped. So, I will leave, but I am not letting you do this to yourself again.”

“You’ll never keep us apart” Dean replied, but it was tired and Castiel could see he was falling asleep.

“Just watch me” he replied.

He left when Dean started lightly snoring.


	50. Heaven's Kitchen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day to you cutie pies! I hope you’ve had a splendid day. Today’s rule is another form the lovely CompanionOfTen. Cas’ kittens make a return, yey! And someone has picked up on how to prank Winchester style ;) I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the suggestion, and to everyone else for reading and leaving reviews. Seriously, they make my day :’)

**50\. Do not banish angels from the kitchen. The consequences are not good. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam was heading down to the kitchen to make some breakfast when he was suddenly assaulted by a vile odour.

“Oh my god” he said with disgust as he covered his nose.

He found Castiel stood at the stove stirring. There were hunks of raw meat spread out across the counter, and several dirty pots and pans piled up in the sink. 

“Cas, what the heck are you making?” Sam asked.

“Peanut is sick. I don’t think she agreed with the food I bought her. So, I’m making my own” Castiel explained. 

“Peanut?” Sam asked.

“One of my kittens” Castiel reminded him.

“Well, it freakin’ stinks!” Sam exclaimed as he braved moving his hand away. “And you’ve made such a mess.”

“I was going to clean it up” Castiel assured Sam as he turned to face him. “But I need to concentrate on the instructions. I don’t want her to feel worse. It’s strange that Butter hasn’t reacted the same way. However, I suppose he’s like Dean; he’ll eat anything-”

“Cas!” Sam exclaimed when he saw bright orange flames suddenly flair up from behind the angel.

Castiel whirled around and stepped back with shock. Sam suddenly pulled him away and walked in with a fire extinguisher, spraying foam everywhere. Once the flames were out Sam stumbled back with a sigh of relief.

“I think it’s best you go. I’ll sort this out” he said.

Castiel looked a little crestfallen.

“But I just wanted to-”

“I know, Cas.”

“My kitten-”

“Castiel! Please just go” Sam said a lot harsher than he intended to.

Castiel bowed his head and skulked away. He to his room and found Peanut mewling tiredly by the door. Butter was sat with her looking distressed for his companion.

“I’m sorry” Castiel said sincerely as he scooped them up. “I was just trying to help you, but Sam got mad and he wouldn’t listen to me. I’m not allowed in the kitchen right now.”

Peanut meowed lightly and tried to nuzzle herself as deep into Castiel’s shirt as possible. 

Castiel frowned. Now he was just annoyed at Sam.

“C’mon. I think I have an idea for what to do with your old food…”

\--------------------

When Sam went back to his room after he’d cleaned the kitchen he opened the door and was immediately hit with a familiar smell; much like the one from earlier. 

“What the hell?”

It seemed to be coming from all over the place. Sam opened one of his drawers and found a pile of brown mush. He opened another and discovered the same thing. It seemed that Castiel had decided to leave stinking cat food all over the place in order to take his revenge.

“I hate to say it, but I’m kind of impressed” Sam mused to himself. He did feel bad about kicking Castiel out the kitchen, but now he had to clean all this up too and get rid of the putrid smell. “Doesn’t mean he’s getting away with it though.”


	51. Below Freezing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there beautifuls! How are you today? Good I hope. Today’s rule was an unusual but very fun request from Tris PhantomEvans. I love it! XD Thank you for the suggestion, and thank you so much to everyone for reading and for your lovely comments. Seriously, they give me reason to keep going. I hope you like it :) x

**51\. Needing ice is not an appropriate reason to be zapped to Antarctica without warning. (The Winchester Brothers)**

Dean groaned with frustration when he went into the kitchen one morning and found water seeping out from underneath the freezer. The damn thing must have been broken. He had a feeling some certain little paws were responsible. 

He was mopping up the mess when Sam and Castiel came down.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked. 

“Freezer is bust” Dean mumbled. “There was water everywhere. I haven’t checked the food yet.” 

“How did this happen?” Castiel inquired.

“I think that maybe two tiny fur balls got back there” Dean said with an unimpressed look at the angel.

“Oh, sorry” Castiel said sheepishly. “I do try to stop them from coming down here.”

“What do we have in here anyways?” Sam said as opened the door. The drawers which were previously full of ice were now just pools of water, but they were mostly empty. “Why is there only, like, five tubs of ice-cream in here and nothing else?”

“Oh, crap!” Dean breathed. “Has it melted yet? I need it to eat with pie.”

“I, uh, I think it’s on its way out” Sam informed him.

“Great” Dean said sarcastically. “I need some ice, and fast!”

“I will fix that for you” Castiel said. He did feel partly responsible after all. 

The angel held up his arms and snapped his fingers. Dean and Sam looked down with bewilderment when they suddenly found themselves covered in so many layers of their warmest clothes that they could barely move. 

“Cas, what the hell are you-” Dean started to ask, but he was cut off when Castiel approached them and touched their shoulders.

The temperature plummeted and Sam and Dean started shivering instantly. They were suddenly stood on land which was just blanketed with ice and snow amidst a serious blizzard.

“C-Cas!” Dean exclaimed through chattering teeth. “This is n-not what I h-had in m-mind!”

“I’ll just be a moment” Castiel said as he crouched down and started to scoop up some of the snow. He showed no sign of caring about the cold in just his suit and trench coat; it was absurd to Sam and Dean. 

“C-Cas, p-please” Sam huffed as he frantically rubbed his hands up and down his arms. “T-take us b-back.”

“Alright.” Castiel stood up with the snow in his hands and looked around for a place to put it. He settled on stuffing some into his pockets.

He touched Sam and Dean’s shoulders once more and the brothers were relieved to find themselves back in the bunker.

“Don’t do that ever again” Sam said.

“Well…I got ice for Dean” Castiel said as he unloaded it into the drawer with the ice-cream.

“Why’d you have to take us?!” Dean argued.

Castiel shrugged. “I’m sure you’ve never been to Antarctica. I thought you’d like to see it.”

“If we get sick…” Sam sniffled.

“I will heal you” Castiel assured him.

“I’m going back to bed” Dean mumbled. In all his layers of clothing he started to slowly shuffle away.


	52. My Annoying Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning/afternoon/evening to all of you lovelies! How are you today? ShivaVixen suggested that I write a chapter including Cupid. This one is (kinda) Destiel for obvious reasons ;) I hope you like it! Thank you for the suggestion and to everyone else for reading and leaving such wonderful comments :) xx

**52\. Please try to avoid being struck by Cupid’s arrow. (Castiel)**

“What exactly is Drifters’ Christmas?” Castiel asked as he sat at the bar with Dean.

“We drink beer and scout out lonely looking chicks."

As the hunter turned to the bartender to order drinks Castiel looked around at all the people. He suddenly spotted a familiar chirpy face stood over by the exit.

“Cupid.”

“What?” Dean asked as he turned back to Castiel. The angel pointed over and Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh, great.” Castiel stood up. “Where are you going?” 

“To say hello. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one of my brothers.”

Dean sighed with dismay, but given their last encounter with the diapered angel he didn’t want Castiel to go alone.

They followed cupid outside only to find the alley empty. Suddenly, Dean felt a sharp pain from behind. He let out a cry of anguish and looked around in shock.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked.

Dean turned back to him and started to sway a little on his feet.

“There’s an arrow in my butt.”

The hunter collapsed to the floor.

“Dean!” Castiel rushed over to him. He looked around but couldn’t see cupid. He shook Dean desperately. “Dean!”

The hunter came to, a dreamy smile appearing on his face.

“Hey there, blue eyes.”

“Oh no” Castiel groaned. 

\----------------------

“So….he’s in love with you?” Sam said. 

“Yes” Castiel replied. They had returned to the bunker and he had explained the situation to Sam. “And he won’t leave me alone.” 

Dean had his arms wrapped around the angel’s waist, his head on Castiel’s shoulder as he swayed them slightly.

“Okay…and you’re sure it isn’t based on some deep-seated desire?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s just because mine was the first face he saw.”

“And a beautiful face it is” Dean cooed as he nuzzled his nose into Castiel’s neck. The angel just looked disturbed. 

“Right, so what do we do?” Sam asked as he tried not to laugh.

“I can summon Cupid. He’s the only one who can reverse this, but I’ll need my hands.”

“Sure. Hey, Dean, Cas is looking a little pale. He needs some coffee.”

“Yes, of course!” Dean said eager to help his love. He headed off to the kitchen.

A couple of minutes later and Cupid was stood before them with a wide grin.

“Hello!”

“If you try to hug me I swear I’ll-“

“Sam” Castiel cut him off. “We need you to reverse the spell you put on Dean.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s not in control of himself. It’s not fair” Castiel said. “And he’s smothering me.”

Cupid looked a little saddened. “Okay, but just for you brother.”

At that moment Dean returned. 

“Here you go” he went to hand Castiel the coffee and place a kiss on his cheek. At that moment, Cupid reversed the spell, and Dean’s lips were still on Cas as he came back to reality.

The hunter quickly recoiled and blushed.

“What the hell just happened?”

“It’s best not to think about it” Castiel said.


	53. Wet Dreams (It's Not What You Think)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you sweet and beautiful people! I hope everything is going your way. Today’s rule is from a lovely Guest. 
> 
> I just want to say a huge thank you everyone who has read, favourited, followed, left kudos, and of course reviewed these stories. I have had a sudden influx of lovely and encouraging comments recently and each and every one means so much to me. That you’ve taken the time do that, or just to even read these silly stories means a lot. Some days my anxiety just floors me but reading the wonderful things you guys have to say makes me want to solider on, and for that I thank you :’)
> 
> Anyway, enough being sappy. I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Xxx

**53\. You are not allowed to fall asleep in the bathtub. (Sam Winchester)**

When Sam went into the bathroom one morning he was both surprised and disturbed when he heard loud snoring coming from the bath. He approached cautiously and found Dean sprawled out in the bottom of the tub. Sam was pretty sure the water pooled by his brother’s open mouth was his own drool rather than that from the taps. Dean only tended to snore this badly when he’d drunk a lot, so Sam wasn’t anticipating much from the oncoming conversation. 

“Dean” Sam said as he knelt down at the side of the bath. Dean just gave a somewhat responsive groan. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his brother’s shoulder. “Dean!” he hissed. “Get up! I wanna take a shower.”

Dean made a noise which sounded ‘blup’ as he came around. He looked up at Sam through groggy eyes in a clear state of confusion.

“Morning” he said gruffly as he used one fist to rub his eyes. 

Sam stood up and folded his arms across his chest. “You know what I’m going to ask.”

“Uh…if I want some pancakes for breakfast?” Dean replied hopefully. “Maybe some bacon too because you love me?"

Sam gave his brother an unimpressed look and shook his head. “What the heck are you doing sleeping in the bathtub?”

“I don’t honestly know” Dean said as he pushed himself up to rest on his elbows. “Cas and I were drinking a lot of…well, everything, and I remember coming in here to take a leak, and now here I am.” Sam looked down at his brother with obvious dismay. “What? It’s not the worst place even in this room you could have found me sleeping” he said, giving an indicating nod towards the toilet. 

Sam scrunched his nose with disgust. “Why do you have to make everything ten times more gross?”

“Because I’m a big brother” Dean said as he folded his arms behind his head and started to lie down again. “That’s what we do.”

“Dude, get up!” Sam exclaimed.

“Dude, go away!” Dean said in a whiny mimic of his brother. 

Sam pulled what he knew Dean would call a classic bitch face. The younger Winchester reached over to the tap which controlled the shower and twisted it. He watched with great amusement as Dean cried out with shock and tried to scramble out of the bath as he was soaked with ice cold water. 

“That was not okay!” Dean said angrily once he was dripping wet on the bathroom floor.

“Well you shouldn’t have been so stubborn” Sam retaliated. “I’m going to the wall now.”

As he walked down to the rule room he passed Castiel slumbering under the table. The former angel was on his stomach and mumbling something about a fish.

“Don’t ask” Sam told himself as he walked passed, raising his arms in defeat. “Do not even ask.”


	54. Taking The Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope that you are all doing okay. Unfortunately, I’ve been in a bit of an angsty mood today, as this story reflects, but I was also in need of some Sastiel friendship fluff. So, here you go! ShivaVixen suggested something about Sam and watching Soap Operas. Sorry it’s not as humorous as the others, but I hope you like it anyway. Thanks for reading and commenting :) xx

**54\. Sam and I must attempt to set aside an hour a day to watch a Soap Opera. (Castiel)**

“Good evening, Sam.”

The younger Winchester turned in his chair. “Hey, Castiel. Where have you been all day?” 

“Tending to my garden” the angel said as he approached the table. “I think Dean has been stealing honey from my bees again.”

“I knew those were bee stings” Sam whispered. “He said he was getting acne. He never even had it when he was a teenager.” 

“I’ll talk to him.” Castiel said. He tilted his head slightly as he studied Sam’s laptop screen. “What are you watching?” 

Sam turned back; only just realising he’d left it playing. “Oh, it’s um...it’s called All My Children. It’s a Soap Opera.”

“Ah, yes” Castiel said as he sat down without taking his eyes off the screen. “Dean says his life is like one of those at times."

Sam huffed with amusement. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“It doesn’t sound like a genre you would be interested in, though” Castiel said.

“Well…it’s not really” Sam confessed. “I watch is sometimes because it reminds me of someone.” 

Castiel frowned a little as he tried to comprehend the notion. “Who does is remind you of?” he asked.

“This girl we met a long time ago. Her name was Madison. She was…well she was a werewolf, but she was a good person, and she deserved better.”

Castiel nodded. “You…loved her?” he asked uncertainly.

“I wouldn’t say that. Jessica is…was the love of my life, but I cared about Madison a lot. I only knew her a couple of days though so...” he trailed off and looked back at the screen distantly.

Castiel sensed that Sam needed comforting. He seemed to be having these down days a lot recently. 

“Tell me about them” Castiel requested. Sam looked around at him with surprise. “Tell me about Madison and Jessica.” Sam looked a little unsure. “If you’re worried about me judging you for some reason, don’t. I probably won’t even understand.”

“Hey, c’mon, Cas. You’re getting at the whole emotional connection thing” Sam tried to assure him.

Castiel gave a small smile. “Thank you. I learnt a lot during my time as a human, and believe that one of those things is that talking helps sometimes.”

“Yeah, it does” Sam replied. 

Castiel bit his bottom lip as he was considering something, but then he suddenly flung his arms around Sam.

“This is an appropriate situation to constitute hugging?” he asked.

Sam nodded with a slightly lopsided smile as he squeezed his friend back. “Yeah, thanks, Cas.” 

The angel pulled away with a slightly wary smile. 

“May I watch with you?” he said indicating to the laptop.

“Of course.”

“You’ll have to explain to me what’s going on” Castiel said. 

The angel thought that maybe he should spend some more time with just Sam. They only ever seemed to interact before when there was trouble afoot. Just having an hour a day to watch a TV show and talk seemed a good way to do it.


	55. Change Your Tune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you are feeling fine. Sorry yesterday’s chapter was a bit of a downer XD Hopefully this one will make up for it. Today’s rule is from the suggestion of Autumn Alchemist. Thank you so much for reading, and for leaving such encouraging comments. I hope you enjoy :) xx

**55\. Singing songs from ‘Supernatural: The Muscial’ is banned. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean was sat by the book shelves, all the knives and swords he had found lined up on the small table so he could polish and sharpen them each in turn. There were some things he just liked to be meticulous about. Sam had his books, Dean had his weaponry.

Castiel was sat at the bigger table absentmindedly flicking through one of the larger books in the bunker’s collection. Dean was sure he’d never seen the angel look so bored. Of course, it was good that the world was at peace again, for now at least, but they hadn’t had a case in a while and Dean was starting to get a bit of cabin fever himself. 

Dean suddenly realised that Castiel had started to hum to himself. It was disturbingly human coming from the angel, and also strange in Castiel’s low gravelly tone. 

Dean frowned as he listened. He was sure he recognised the tune, but he just couldn’t place it. It was certainly nothing from his collection. Maybe something Sam had brainwashed the angel with.

Castiel started to hum a little louder until Dean was actually able to decipher some words. The angel had started singing. 

“I’ll just wait here then. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll just wait here then. Wait for my cue…”

Dean’s eyes widened as he put the knife he was holding down and hurried over to the other table.

“Hey, hey, hey. Where’d you hear that song?”

Castiel looked up at Dean unconcernedly. “Sam told me about the play. I was intrigued so I looked it up. They had uploaded a soundtrack.”

“What?” Dean said incrediously. “But you…I mean…you understand what that song is trying to say about us, right?”

Castiel shook his head. “Not really, no. They seem to understand that we share a profound bond though…”

“Dude!” Dean exclaimed. “I told you not to say stuff like that.”

“Whatever” Castiel replied grumpily. “They were nice about me. They liked me. It was refreshing.”

“Okay, well, that’s great, but you can’t sing that song” Dean said vehemently. 

“You’re embarrassed about being my friend?” Castiel asked.

“No! Look, just trust me, okay? It’s bad” Dean argued.

“Fine” Castiel sighed as he closed his book and got up to leave. 

“And what did I tell you about that whole voice of an angel thing being crap?” Dean jibed. 

“This isn’t my true voice” Castiel reminded him bluntly. “And, you know what? My true voice is so magnificent that your incompetent puny human ears can’t even comprehend it, so there.”

“Show off!” Dean called after the angel as he stormed out of the room. “Don’t shed a single man tear over it.”


	56. A Mother's Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello precious muffins! How are you all? I moved back to my university flat on Sunday so sorry for missing out on the story yesterday. I’m afraid updates may be a little more sporadic as I get settled in, but I hope to be back to doing one every day soon! This chapter is for Soulhearts who requested some more Motherly!Dean. I hope you like it! As ever, thank you so much to everyone for reading and leaving such amazing reviews; they mean a lot :’)

**55\. Mom’s tomato-rice soup is the perfect cure all. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean nearly jumped out of his chair, startled by the loud sneeze which echoed down the hall. Castiel shuffled into the room looking utterly miserable. His skin was paler than usual and he had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. His nose was red as he pulled another tissue out of his pocket.

“The human body really is a fragile thing” he mumbled dejectedly before blowing his nose. “And it’s also very disgusting.” 

Dean grimaced. “You’ve caught your first cold, huh?”

“Yes” the former angel sniffed. “Once again I’m being punished.”

“Worth it for free will?” Dean teased.

Castiel gave a somewhat affirmative grunt before padding over to the table and heavily dropping down into one of the chairs. 

“I miss my grace” he sighed, looking very much like a kicked puppy.

“Me too” Dean said. “Sam doesn’t like me playing with sharp objects if you can’t heal me.”

Castiel turned his head a little and looked at Dean with a slightly confused frown.

“More humour?”

“Yes, and as ever, it was wasted” Dean said, shaking his head slightly. “Anyway, don’t look so down. Colds are easy to get rid of. In fact, I know the perfect cure all.”

Castiel instantly perked up. “You do?”

“Yup. My mom’s rice and tomato soup. Works as well as any medicine I can give you.”

Castiel looked dubious. “And you…rub this soup on your wounds?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “No. You eat it.”

“And you think it will help me feel better?”

“Absolutely, don’t even question it” Dean said sternly.

“Well, alright” Castiel conceded.

“Great. Now you get back to bed whilst I go make some.”

“But-”

“Ah, ah” Dean warned as he ushered Castiel out of his seat. You need to be resting. That also helps.”

The hunter had his palm on Castiel’s back the whole time as he guided him to his bedroom. He made sure Castiel was settled before he absentmindedly started re-arranging the covers so the former angel would be most comfortable, just as his mother did with him. Castiel didn’t mention it as being odd.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem. I’ll be back soon.”

\--------------------

Several minutes later and Castiel could smell the soup being carried down the hall. He had to admit it had an inviting aroma. Dean entered the room carrying a tray with a full bowl and a spoon. He’d even added some bread as an extra thoughtful detail. 

“Alright, this is probably nowhere near as good as my mom’s, but it should have a similar effect” he said as he placed the tray on Castiel’s lap.

The former angel picked up the spoon and scooped up a mouthful of soup. It was very warm and the taste was extremely pleasing. Castiel looked over to Dean who had a slightly nervous look on his face.

“It’s good?”

“Very.”

The hunter positively beamed. “Awesome. Make sure you eat it all up! But don’t expect much more. I’m not singing Hey Jude to you…”


	57. Not So Glad (Rags)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello precious Pumpkins! I hope everything is gone well for you. Now I’m a little more settled and have my timetable I hope to get back to posting a story a day. This one is for Lara who suggested something about suitable attire (maybe too suitable.) Thank you once again to everyone for reading and for leaving such lovely comments. Enjoy! Xx

**57\. It is not necessary to dress up for dinner. You’re mistaking having class for being an ass. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam had offered to make dinner that evening after eating nothing but take-out for the past few days. At first Dean had been reluctant to let Sam takeover what he had deemed to be ‘his’ kitchen (“everything is just where I like it!”) but Sam had promised a meat based dish instead of just ‘rabbit food.’ He decided to make a chili because then he could hide vegetables in the sauce to actually get them into Dean. 

When it was ready Sam carried the pot over to the table and called for his brother and Castiel to tell them it was ready. He went to retrieve some bowls and spoons and heard the two other men coming down the stairs. 

“Smells good, Sammy” Dean commented. “I’m impressed.”

Sam turned back to face them.

“Thanks, I-”

He nearly dropped the cutlery he was holding.

Both Dean and Castiel were dressed in black suits with white bowties. They had donned grand top hats, white gloves, and Dean had required a sleek black cane which he was slightly leaning on. 

“Why are you dressed like that?” Sam asked cautiously.

“Well, you don’t like us dressed down to our underwear at the table so we thought we’d dress up all fancy!” Dean grinned.

“Okay, so, you’re trying to be a smart ass” Sam replied bluntly. He shouldn’t have been surprised. “And you agreed to this?” he addressed Castiel with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh…well I always wear a suit” Castiel pointed out. “And I like this hat. It makes me look, um…suave?” Dean nodded his approval.

Sam scoffed. “No, you look like those cheesy kid’s magicians” he claimed.

“Oh, there are no rabbits in these hats” Castiel assured him. “I checked thoroughly.”

“Speaking of rabbits, I better be chowing down on one rather than the crap that they eat” Dean said sternly.

Sam rolled his eyes. “It’s beef chili” he mumbled as he finally put the cutlery down on the table. “Are you seriously going to wear that to eat in our murky kitchen just to prove a point?”

Dean pretended to consider this for a moment. “Uh, yeah!”

He and Castiel sat at the table, Dean making a show of removing the napkin from his pocket and placing it across his lap.

“It looks appetising” Castiel smiled.

“Indeed” Dean added with a well-spoken English accent. “Do serve some for us, Samuel” he requested with a smile at his brother.

“No, okay” Sam said pointing a finger at Dean in warning. “No accents!”

“Why not?” Dean argued in his own voice. “We prepared backstories and everything…”

“Aaand I’m done” Sam droned out as he picked up his bowl and stood up from the table. “Enjoy playing make- believe without an audience.”

“And you think I have no sense of humour” Castiel muttered to Dean.

Sam made sure to shoot them one of his best bitch faces before pivoting and heading to the stairs.


	58. Deany's Little Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you lovely lot! How are you today? I have been busy filming, but I finished up to post this for you ;) This is another one for Soulhearts who requested some de-aged Cas. (Pst, I’ve been working on a multi-chapter Baby!Cas fic for a while now so watch this space.) Thank you for all the awesome comments and for reading :) I hope you like! Xx

**58\. Never leave a baby angel unsupervised. (Dean Winchester)**

“Why does this keep happening to us!?” Dean questioned as he paced up and down the room.

“I don’t know” Sam replied. He grimaced as he tried to keep hold of the squirming infant which he was holding at arm’s length. “What should we do?”

“’Am” baby Castiel growled. 

“I guess we should try the reversal spell we found when this happened to you” Dean suggested.

“Great, I’ll go do that” Sam said eagerly as Castiel was now chewing on a strand of his hair.

“Hey, no, can’t I just-” but before Dean could even string a sentence together he found the baby in his arms and his brother practically running out of the room. 

“De!” Castiel chirped and clapped his hands together excitedly. “De, De, De!”

“Yeah, that’s right, Cas. You remember me?”

The baby giggled as he gripped on to the end of Dean’s nose. Dean wriggled it around a little and Castiel laughed even harder at the funny faces he pulled.

“De!”

“Dammit, you’re adorable” Dean mumbled. “And if you remember I said that when you’re grown up again don’t ever mention it or I will end you.”

He laid Castiel down on the bed and the baby flailed his limbs as he looked up at the ceiling in awe. Suddenly, he started to cry.

“No, no don’t do that” Dean fretted as he knelt down at the side of the bed. “What is it? What’s wrong? Oh, please don’t cry” he groaned. 

A low growling sound emitted from Castiel’s stomach and he stopped crying for a moment from fright. The shrieks soon started up again though. 

“Oh, you’re hungry!” Dean realised. “Baby angels eat? Okay, um, I’ll go get you some milk.”

Not thinking about anything other than getting Cas to stop crying Dean ran all the way down to the kitchen. They didn’t have any sippy cups so Dean had to pour some milk into a small mug before he hurried back up to Castiel’s room.

When he returned the hunter saw Castiel on his hands and knees perched at the edge of the bed. Two tiny fluffy wings had appeared on his back and they were frantically flapping behind him. Dean dropped the milk and ran over to the bed as he realised what Castiel was trying to do.

“No!” he cried just as Castiel jumped. 

As predicated, the baby angel’s wings were of no use and he started to fall to the floor. Dean managed to dive to the ground and catch Castiel before he hit the ground.

“Ow” Dean groaned as he rolled onto his back and held Castiel up above him. “Bad Cas!” he scolded. The baby angel thought it was hilarious though as he started laughing. “You may be adorable but you’re still a jerk too.” Dean frowned.

Castiel responded by spitting up on him.


	59. Being A Brother Is Draining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! How have you all been? So, since y'all seem to adore Baby Cas so much I will make sure he returns at a later date, but I really want to get on with people's specific requests right now; I still have a really long list :') Today’s rule is from SS7Goddess. Thank you so much for everyone who is still reading (and to newcomers, hello!), and to everyone who gives such uplifting reviews. It all means a lot :) I hope you like today’s instalment!

**59\. The person with RIDICULOUSLY long hair has to clean out the shower drain when said hair clogs it up. (Dean Winchester)**

Sam and Castiel were sat in the kitchen together one morning when Dean suddenly shouted down the stairs. He sounded pissed.

“Sam!”

Castiel looked up at the younger Winchester who seemed to have frozen in his tracks, spoonful of cereal midway to his mouth.

“What did you do now?” Castiel asked.

“I don’t know” Sam groaned. “It could be anything between not getting fresh towels to starting another apocalypse.” He stood up with a sigh and went to leave, but then paused and turned to face Castiel again. “You ever think about how tragic it is we can actually say that about our lives?”

“No, because I don’t want to end up back in a mental institution” Castiel replied.

Sam stuck his bottom lip out a little and nodded his head. “Fair enough.”

The younger Winchester trudged his way upstairs. All he had to do was follow his brother’s angry voice to find him.

“Sam Winchester, get your ass in here!” 

He found Dean in the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He didn’t look at all impressed and stood with his hands on his hips as if waiting for Sam to do something.

“What?” Sam asked moodily as he leaned against the door frame and ate a spoonful of his cereal. 

Dean’s eyes just widened along with his irritation as he pointed into the bathtub. Sam went over and had a look but he couldn’t see the problem.

“That’s disgusting” Dean said.

“What is?”

“That!” Dean stressed as he pointed at the plughole. “You’re stupid hippy hair is clogging the drain! The water won’t go down, and I sure as hell ain’t cleaning it out.”

“Alright, it’s no big deal” Sam said as he placed his bowl down by the sink. “I’m sorry. I’ll just clean it out.”

He rolled up his sleeve and bent down near the bath but Dean quickly turned away.

“No, no don’t!” he pleaded.

Sam looked up at him with a scoff of amusement. “What?”

“I don’t wanna see.”

Sam looked at his brother in disbelief. “Are you being serious right now? We literally chop monster’s heads off; we’ve been covered in every type of supernatural goo I can think of, but this, this you’re squeamish about? It’s hair!” 

“Yeah and it’s not mine and it’s in the place where I get clean!” Dean argued.

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head with disbelief. “Sorry. Just don’t look, princess.”

“Don’t you call me a princess. You’re the one who’s determined to become freakin’ Rapunzel!”

“Okay, so we’re back to calling each other girls. How refreshing” Sam said sarcastically. “But this wouldn’t even bother girls, so I don’t know what it makes you.”

“It makes me sane for being grossed out by it!” Dean claimed.

“Just go away whilst I clean it, okay”? Sam urged.

“Right” Dean muttered. “I’m not letting this happen again.”


	60. Adorably Outnumbered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey precious cupcakes! I hope you are all feeling fine. Today’s rule is from The_Dangerous_One. As ever, thank you so much for reading, suggestions, and amazing comments. Enjoy :) xx
> 
> An extra note: Please, please, please don’t think that I am ignoring your prompts/suggestions or have forgotten about them, I really haven’t. I have a super long list of them all saved on a word document (Over 50!)as they are both from FF and AO3. I am just writing them in the order I receive them out of fairness (although I break up multiple ones sent by the same person). I’m so sorry that it will take a while to get to them, but I WILL get to them. Just wanted to remind you.

**60\. Food not eaten immediately after preparation must be covered and kept in the fridge. (Castiel)**

Dean inhaled deeply so that he could enjoy the tantalizing aroma of the freshly cooked bacon and scrambled eggs as he served them onto a plate. A satisfactory smile spread across his face – he reckoned he could have made a half decent chef in another life.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and then went to put everything on the table. He had intended to look through the newspaper for a case but realised he’d left it upstairs. Dean sighed as he reluctantly left his delicious breakfast in order to retrieve it.

When Dean came back to the kitchen – newspaper tucked under his arm – he was mortified to find Peanut and Butter up on the table chowing their way through his breakfast.

“Hey!” Dean growled as he hurried over and waved the paper at them. “Get off, you mangy fur balls!”

The kittens screeched in fright and quickly scarpered. Dean groaned when he saw the remains of his mauled breakfast. That was the last of the bacon too. 

The hunter was angry as he stormed up to the main hall and found Castiel and Sam sat at the table. Sam was on his laptop, and Castiel had picked up the kittens, stroking them as he tried to sooth them.

“What’s the matter little ones?” 

“I don’t know, but Uncle Dean looks pretty pissed” Sam warned. 

“Oh, did he frighten you?” Castiel cooed as the kittens shrunk into his lap. 

“They are not the victims!” Dean insisted as he stomped over. “Those little fleabags ate my breakfast!”

“Well, did you leave it unattended?” Castiel asked. “They’re only kittens, Dean. They can’t identify what isn’t theirs.”

“I was gone for like two minutes!” Dean replied incredulously. “Cas, I swear that if you can’t get some control over those things then they are out!”

Castiel let out a small gasp and his eyes grew wide and saddened as he held the kittens closer. 

“Dean, c’mon, you can’t do that” Sam tried to stick up for Castiel and his pets. “They didn’t know.”

“The solution was to not leave the food alone” Castiel retorted. 

“No, this isn’t my fault” Dean insisted.

“Well, I apologise” Castiel said. “But…please don’t make me give them up.”

Dean opened his mouth to say that this was the final straw, but when he looked at Sam and Castiel’s sorrowful faces he was once again stumped.

“Ugh, you’re not being fair!” 

“Why?” Sam asked.

“Because I can’t do that damn innocent puppy look that makes me wanna smush your stupid cheeks!” Dean replied angrily.

Sam and Castiel shared a slightly confused look. 

“I’m going to make a rule” Castiel said. 

“Fine.” Dean took a deep breath to calm himself and squatted down so that he was level with Peanut. “I’ll be watching you” he warned, staring at the kitten with narrowed eyes. 

Peanut responded to the threat by affectionately licking his nose. 

“Damn.”


	61. The Biggest Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I’m updating late but I’m busy with work right now (*sigh*) Anyway how are you? ^_^ Tonight’s rule is from Bianca Valdez. As my daily reminder, thank you so much for reading and commenting on these stories. I hope you like! Xx

**61\. Cake is not pie, and should not be treated as such, SAM. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean had been waiting in the kitchen for Sam to return with the groceries. He always complained that his younger brother didn’t put things away in the right place, and he liked to inspect everything. 

Sam rolled his eyes when he came down the stairs and found Dean pretending to busy himself.

“If you don’t trust me then why don’t you just go yourself?” the younger Winchester complained.

“Because I hate the shopping part” Dean said. “I wanna cut out the middle man and get right to the eating! Speaking of which…” He started to rummage through the bags Sam had placed on the table.

“Oh, I should warn you-”

“Where is it?” Dean said as his eyes widened a little. He started to take things out the bag more quickly as if panicked. “Where’s the pie!?”

“They didn’t have any” Sam shrugged. “It’s okay though, I bought you a cake instead.”

Dean looked like Sam had just punched him the face.

“Cake?” Dean said narrowing his eyes in disbelief. “Cake. They are not even close to being the same thing, Sam!”

“Well…they can both be deserts” Sam offered.

Dean looked at his brother incredulously. “How dare you?”

Sam scoffed with amusement. “Dean, it’s fine…” He picked out the cake and handed it to his brother. “See, it’s looks good, right? It’s apple cake. Just as sweet as pie.”

“No” Dean replied petulantly and then went upstairs in a huff.

“Dean, what’s the matter?” Castiel asked as he was passing the hunter and saw the annoyed expression on his face.

“Sam tried to replace pie with some gross apple cake thing. Can you believe that?”

Castiel blinked, clearly not understanding why Dean was upset. “But, apple pie is your favourite. Why would apple cake be any different?”

Dean just seemed to grow even more outraged before continuing to storm off.

Castiel frowned to himself with confusion as he headed down to the kitchen to find Sam.

“Why is Dean so upset about pie? I thought apples were his favourite…”

“Ooh” Sam said with a grimace. “I’m sorry; the answer we were looking for was pecans. Thanks for playing though; we hope you had a good time.”

“Um…honestly, no more than our usual conversations” Castiel replied.

Sam just smiled and rolled his eyes. “I was making a joke, Cas.”

“Oh.”

Sam frowned in thought for a moment. “You know, given as past conversation I had with Dean I’m not even sure he knows what apple pies are made of.” 

Castiel wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

At that moment Dean came back into the room looking much more calm and satisfied.

“You wrote on the wall didn’t you?” Sam deadpanned.

“Yup” Dean replied with a smug grin. He grabbed his car keys off the table. “Now, I’m going out to get the pie I deserve. Later, you uncultured swine!”

He flounced out of the room. Sam and Castiel sighed with dismay.


	62. Nice Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweet cupcakes! I hope everything is going your way. Sorry it’s been a couple of days I’ve just been super busy. Tonight’s rule is from CompanionOfTen. Thank you so much for reading and especially for leaving such awesome comments. They really make me happy ^_^ Enjoy! Xx

**62\. You cannot undo rules by writing their opposites on the wall. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam liked to go and do his research in the rule room sometimes as it was very quiet, and he could read their bizarre personal laws if he needed to be distracted and amused. He was surprised when he went down one day to find Castiel and Dean both stood up on chairs furiously scribbling away on a blank side of the room.

“Hey, what are you guys writing?” Sam asked curiously.

Dean and Castiel immediately froze and looked at each other with shifty eyes.

“I told you to keep watch” Castiel mumbled lowly to Dean.

“He’s a giant! I thought we’d hear him coming” Dean hissed back in response.

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “Does is matter if I caught you? I’d have known it was you guys. Who else could it have been!?”

“I know, but I was going to deny everything and blame it all on Cas” Dean said.

Castiel narrowed his eyes and shot the hunter an angry look. “Traitor.”

“Oh, Okay” Dean scoffed. “If we’re going to get into being traitorous then all I have to say is Leviathan-”

“Guys!” Sam interrupted desperately. “Let’s please not bring up that stuff, okay? What are you up to anyways and do I need to sit down before you tell me?”

“Nah” Dean said. “But I guess it is a longer scarier fall for you, huh?” 

“Are there other characteristics of Sam we should be mocking other than his obscene height?” Castiel asked inquisitively.

“Would you both stop talking about me like I’m not in the room?!” Sam exclaimed with exasperation. He strode over to the wall so that he could read for himself what the ‘dynamic duo’ had been writing. “You are allowed to challenge each other to duels when suited…Take as long in the shower as you need… pants are not a requirement at all times….hey, these are all the opposites of the rules I wrote!”

“Yup” Dean said as he continued writing. 

Sam decided it was time to pull out an ultimate bitch face. “You can’t just make the one’s I wrote moot because you wrote the opposites down” he said sternly. “They don’t just counteract!”

“Oh yeah? Well where exactly does it say that?” Dean argued with a smug grin.

Sam frowned as he snatched the pen right out of his brother’s hand. He went over to the wall with the official list on and wrote something in big letters.

“Right. There” he said once he was finished, jabbing it with his finger for emphasis.

“But we already wrote these. They don’t count” Dean claimed.

“Dean, I was studying to be a lawyer, so if you really want to get into it-”

“No” the older Winchester interrupted. “Not worth the lecture. You’re always going to use that one against me, aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah” Sam scoffed. “Big time.”


	63. Shopping Spree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good evening sugar-peas! What's going on? Today's rule is from Bianca Valdez. I hope you like it! Thank you everyone for the continued support with this story, I couldn't do it without you guys and your awesome suggestions/ comments xx

**63\. Castiel is not allowed to do the shopping alone. (Dean Winchester)**

"Hey, where's Cas?" Dean asked Sam when he went down to the kitchen and found his little brother there. "I haven't seen him all morning."

"He went to do the food shopping" Sam replied. "He seemed excited about it." 

"Wow, he really is one dorky little guy" Dean claimed before going to make himself a sandwich. 

Sam was on his laptop and Dean was eating his snack when they heard the door opening upstairs. Soon, Castiel appeared hauling several bags of shopping with him. Dean quickly hopped up to help him.

"Jeez, Cas, ya think you got everything?" The hunter asked with a huff as he relieved his friend of some of the heavy weight.

"I don't have a lot of experience with eating" Castiel reminded him as he put his bags down on the table. He sighed with relief and wiped the back of his hand across his brow. "So, I don't know what's good. So I bought...well..everything."

"And exactly how much money did all this cost us?" Dean questioned dubiously.

"You mean of our hard earned cash?" Sam said sarcastically. 

"Hey, I earned it!" Dean retorted defensively.

"Well, it was...a considerable amount. But since the last time I was human and I spent some time eating out of dumpsters I wanted some nice things."

There was a moment of silence where Dean looked guiltily at his friend. He was caught off guard when Sam tapped him on the chest with the back of his hand. The hunter huffed and rubbed the assaulted area.

"Yeah, Dean, shut up" Sam said as he looked at Cas with heartbroken puppy eyes. "Cas can eat whatever he wants."

Castiel beamed at both of them before he started unpacking his purchases.

"Cas, you didn't buy any actual ingredients I can cook with" Dean realised as he started unpacking a bag. "Only snacks." 

"I was just so attracted to the bright colours" Castiel stated. "And they all have animals on the front!"

"Well, we could eat cat food" Sam mumbled as he picked up one of the several tins.

"What's with all the toilet paper?" Dean asked.

"It was um...buy one get one free?" Castiel recalled. "And it says it's super soft! So when you-"

"Yeah, thanks, Cas" Dean quickly interrupted. "I know what it's for."

"Why'd you buy three jars of pickles?" Sam inquired.

"I'm not really sure...they looked peculiar I guess and I wanted them."

"Well then you're either weird or pregnant" Dean said. He looked up to see the former angel looking at him in alarm. The hunter's expression fell flat. "You're not pregnant" he told Castiel bluntly.

"Yes, of course not. That would go against everything I know about human anatomy."

"I think maybe you'll need some help when you get the groceries from now on" Dean said.

Castiel surveyed the vast array of items in front of him. "Agreed."


	64. There The Wild Things Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello you marvellous marshmallows! What's been going on today? CompanionOfTen suggested this here rule; I hope you enjoy it! Again, as I always like to say, thank you so much for reading, commenting and everything in-between. You guys are all awesome! Xx

**64\. Not all animals are pets. (The Winchester Brothers)**

"Sam, Dean, I request that I get another pet." 

"Sure whatever you want" Sam replied. The younger Winchester had no idea what he was mindlessly agreeing to as he was too absorbed in his research. 

"What about the fur balls?" Dean asked.

"They are getting bigger and now prefer to be off outside doing their own thing" Castiel sighed. "I like having something to take care of."

"Well, don't you have your garden for that?" Dean pointed out. Castiel just looked back at him with wide sad eyes. "Oh for...fine" the older Winchester conceded without really thinking of the consequences. "If you can get one you can have one. But don't be bringing any big ass snakes or spiders in here, alright?" 

"Alright" Castiel agreed and flew off excitedly. 

 

Sam and Dean hadn't heard from Castiel for the rest of the day and were returning to the bunker after a quick hunt not too far away. 

When they entered they were caught off guard when several black birds darted over their heads, chirping away. There were two rabbits hopping up and down the table top, a squirrel chewing on one of the chair legs, a frog croaking from a bowl of water Castiel has set up, and a hedgehog sleeping curled up into a ball. The angel himself was sat with a grin on his face admiring them all.

"Cas!" Dean called out from the top of the stairs. "Why the hell does it look like a scene from Snow White in here!?"

"Well I found so many animals, I couldn't decide which one I wanted..." 

"You can take the lead on this one" Dean grumbled to his brother. "You see what it's like to be on the receiving end of that stupid puppy dog look."

They went down the stairs and cautiously approached Castiel and the various creatures.

"Cas, this is not what I was agreeing to!" Dean stressed. 

"Well, you weren't exactly specific..."

"Cas, these are all wild animals. They need to be outside" Sam said. "Its not good for them to be indoors. Like with the bees, remember?"

Castiel sighed and hung his head. "Yes, I knew you'd say that. I shall remove them."

"Good" Sam said. "Plus, it's probably not a good idea to have animals that Dean can eat" he added as he eyed the rabbits. "I think that-" 

He was interrupted when Dean let out a highly indignant noise as the frog jumped from the bowl and landed on his jacket sleeve.

"Cas, get them out now please!" Dean said desperately, looking at the little creature with wide eyes.

The angel stood and started to gather up the animals.

When Castiel was done returning the animals to their natural habitats he headed to his room and smiled, pleased with himself as he observed the two tiny goldfish swimming around in a bowl on his bedside table. 

"They didn't say I couldn't keep you though. I think I'll call you...Steve... and Clarence."


	65. Pretty In Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello little lovelies. Are you excited for tonight? ;) Today's rule comes from a suggestion of Jess-Cast1800. As I have said, and will continue to say, time and time again, thank you so much to you all for reading, and for the sweet comments and hilarious suggestions. Enjoy! Xx

**65\. Baby is not to be even associated with anything pink. (Dean Winchester)**

"What exactly did Dean do to aggravate you so much that you decided to vandalise his vehicle like this?" Castiel asked.

Sam suddenly sat up on the floor of the Impala and looked around edgily as if making sure his brother wasn't there.

"I'm still not over the fact he actually dyed my hair" the younger Winchester replied. 

Castiel sighed. "Why do I always end up caught in the middle of your juvenile feuds?"

"Because we like to include you in family bonding."

"This isn't exactly bonding. I suspect Dean will want to severely harm you when he sees all this."

"Yeah, which is why I need you as my get away guy" Sam explained as he rolled into the front seat. "And as a lookout" he reminded the angel, nodding to the door.

Castiel looked up at the sky with despair before turning his attention back to the entrance of the bunker.

"I grew up with Gabriel" Castiel said. "I've had enough childish pranks to last even an immortal lifetime."

"Huh, fun" Sam said sarcastically as he started to attach a pair of pink fluffy dice to the rear view mirror.

"In fact, I remember when I was very young, he turned Michael's feathers pink somehow" a small smile graced Castiel's lips. "Michael was furious. Gabriel hid in my nest with me."

"Wow, it's kinda hard to imagine you guys just being like, well, brothers" Sam said as he finished up his final touches.

"We were" Castiel said. "They loved me and would have done anything for me."

Sam turned to the angel when he realised he sounded sad. "Well, that's what you've got me and Dean for now, yeah?"

Castiel smiled at him. "Yes. Are you finished?"

"I think so" Sam said as he clambered out of the car to admire his handiwork.

The seats of the impala had been covered in fluffy pink throws. There were pink mats on the floor, and a sparkly pink cover on the steering wheel to compliment the pink plush dice. There were also various pink paper decorations hanging from the roof.

"Fit for a princess" Sam said approvingly. "Just one more thing" he handed Castiel a bottle with speckles of pink stuff inside.

"What is it?" 

"Glitter" Sam said. "Go nuts. When we get caught I'm taking you down as my accomplic anyway" he smirked. 

Castiel returned the gesture before starting to sprinkle glitter all over the Impala. 

Sam suddenly heard the door of the bunker start to open and he turned to Castiel desperately. 

"Dean!" He hissed.

Castiel dived over to Sam and grabbed his sleeve.

Dean arrived just in time to see his brother and their angel disappear in a poof of glitter, leaving a sparkly trail behind them. 

"Oh no."

The older Winchester ran over to his car and saw the bright pink horror that it had become.

"You complete and utter Dickbags!" he yelled angrily at the sky.


	66. A Way With Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello little angels! How are you all doing? Sorry it's been a couple of days, I've actually been busy XD Today's rule is from J. Thank you for reading and for the lovely comments xx

**66\. All rules need to be written in English. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean went down to the rule room with his morning coffee in his hands and found Castiel writing something on the wall. Dean went over to see what the angel was writing, but it wasn't in any English he had ever seen. The hunter sighed and looked down at his coffee.

"I'm going to need much more."

"Oh, hello, Dean" Castiel said as he turned to the older Winchester.

"Morning, Cas. What's this? I can't read...uh..." Dean squinted his eyes a little and tried to decipher the language. 

"You can't read?" Castiel frowned. "Well, you certainly fake it well, but that would explain the magazines which only have pictures of naked women-"

"I can read, Cas!" Dean interrupted, taking offence. "And stay away from those magazines" he hissed. "What I can't read is gibberish" he said giving a vague gesture towards what Castiel had written.

"It's not gibberish. It's Enochian" Castiel informed him.

"Oh...well...yeah, of course" Dean said with fake realisation he hoped Castiel wouldn't pick up on. "I mean that's clearly...uh-huh." He took a long sip of his coffee.

"I wanted to write some rules for myself" Castiel explained. 

"And you couldn't do it in English?"

"Well, English isn't my first language. Enochian is, and I don't get to use it much anymore."

"You're an angel. You know every language" Dean said.

"Most of them. Would you like me to teach you?"

"No, my language skills are good enough" Dean said. Castiel looked at him expectantly. This annoyed Dean. "Hey, I took a Spanish class at this one school Sam and I were at for six months" he said defensively.

"Oh, really? Did you learn a lot?" Castiel asked. 

"Oui."

"That's French."

Dean tried to think of a save, but couldn't. "Crap" he whispered. "The professor was a hot Latino lady, okay?!"

"Yes. That sounds a lot more feasible." Castiel said murmured.

"I can read and speak Latin! How many people can do that nowadays, huh?!" Dean argued. "Ya know, as long as it's to do with exorcisms and stuff...and...and I am not stupid!"

Castiel looked surprised. "I didn't say you were. I would never." 

"You heavily implied it, getting all up on your high horse with your made up language!"

"Well...weren't all languages made up at one time?"

"See, you're doing it now!" Dean exclaimed. "Stop being a smartass!"

"Dean, my intention was never to make you feel intellectually inferior" Castiel replied seriously. "You know a lot of things that I don't. Like how to cook, how to fix a car, or all the names of the Star Wars. We're just different beings."

"Yeah, I know" Dean replied. "But you can't write rules in Enochian here. Sam and I need to understand them too, or else we might break them and not realise."

"Alright" Castiel conceded.


	67. Not This Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello little sugar muffins! I hope you are all well. Today's rule is from HerGambitAndSwanSong. Extra note: Cas really is too precious for this world. Thank you so much for reading and sending some love; I send it right back to you xxx

**67\. Don't let Jehovah's Witnesses into the bunker. (The Winchester Brothers)**

When Dean headed down to the main hall one morning wearing only boxers and his robe, he was both alarmed and embarrassed to find two strangers sitting at their table; a man and a woman, wearing pristine suits, who were looking at him disapprovingly. Castiel was serving them tea.

"Uh, Cas, who are these, um, lovely people?" Dean asked with a nervous smile as he quickly tied up his robe.

"They call themselves Jehovah's witnesses. I met them in town. They claim that they have information on God."

"Oh, well that's just great" Dean said with fake enthusiasm and a grimace. He failed to remember just exactly how naive Castiel was sometimes. "Sam, we have visitors!" He called down the hall. "For the love of God have some pants on" he muttered to himself.

Sam soon came barrelling to the room holding up his gun.

"What are-"

Both the man and woman gasped in shock at the sight of the weapon.

"Not that kind of visitor, Sam" Dean hissed.

"Oh, uh, my bad" Sam said raising his hands to show he meant no harm and then stuffing the gun into the back of his jeans.

"It happened again" Dean mumbled to his brother. "Jehovah's witnesses this time."

"Ah" Sam nodded. "Cas, could we talk to you in private for a second?"

The angel excused himself from the man and woman and headed over to the Winchesters. 

"Yes?"

"Cas, these people don't actually no anything about God. They just want you to join their religion" Sam explained. "I mean, Jehovah's witnesses don't even really believe in angels."

"Oh" Castiel frowned. "That's disappointing."

"And, Cas, we know that you're just trying to help, but you have to stop letting people in here" Dean said sternly. "It's supposed to be secret."

"I don't do it that often" Castiel protested.

You brought a street preacher back here just last week" Sam reminded him. "And  
there was that vicar...and the crazy homeless guy who thought he was God and then said he was going to harvest our lungs and sell them on the black market." 

"Alright, I see your point" Castiel huffed. "I shall wipe their memories."

"You're too trusting of people, you know that?" Dean said.

"Trust is a bad thing?" Castiel asked.

"It is when it comes to nut jobs."

"They're not crazy, Dean, it's just what they believe in" Sam said.

"Yeah, well, I believe that pizza is one of your five a day and you call me crazy for that."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Not the same thing."

"Excuse me?" The man called over. "Will you be ready any time soon?"

Castiel walked back over to them. "You need to leave."

The woman looked perturbed. "There's no need to be rude, young man."

"I am not a young man" Castiel said. "I am an extremely old, very real, angel of the Lord."

He touched their foreheads and the three of them disappeared.


	68. Purée Delight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello my precious little gems! What's going on with you? Today's rule is another from the lovely Tris PhantomEvans. I hope you like it! As usual thank you so much to reading, reviewing and everything in-between. I have a lot of bad days and you make me feel good :) xx

**68\. Never, ever, EVER change what is inside a pie (Dean Winchester)**

Castiel found Sam in the kitchen spooning some sort of orange mush into a pie that he had cut the lid off of.

"Is this one of those situations where I'm not supposed to ask?"

Sam stuck his tongue out a little in concentration as he started to smooth the vomit looking paste around the edges.

"Just preparing a little something for my big brother."

"Oh, that's nice of you" Castiel praised.

"Yeah, it's really not" Sam countered.

Castiel frowned and went to pick up the jar which Sam had now emptied the contents of. 

"Baby food?" he read.

"Yup."

"Carrots and sweet potato...Why are you giving Dean a pie with this in?"

"Because, I, am, bored" Sam replied as he carefully started to reposition the pie lid so it wouldn't seem to have been altered. "This use to be cherry."

"You know Dean has an aversion to vegetables" Castiel said. "No matter how they are presented."

"Exactly" Sam grinned mischievously. 

"You're going to make him eat something he'll find repulsive?"

"Hey, did I ever tell you about his exotic macaroni recipe that he use to make me eat?" Castiel shook his head. "Well trust me, compared to that I'm letting him off easy."

Castiel just rolled his eyes and started to head back upstairs.

"Humans" he mumbled to himself despairingly.

\--------------------

"Hey, Dean" Sam greeted his brother brightly, pie in hand which he had repositioned in the box. "I got something at the store I thought you might like."

"You know that if doesn't have the phrase low-fat attached to it then I'm there" Dean said.

Sam smirked at his brother as he handed over the box and a fork.

"Well I hope you enjoy!"

"Thanks, Sammy. You actually remembered pie! And it's not even my birthday."

"Well you better hurry up and eat it 'cause it looks pretty good to me" Sam teased. 

Dean frowned and pouted a little. He turned slightly so Sam couldn't reach the pie.

Sam just laughed and started to walk away. He heard Dean opening the box and knew when his brother took a huge bite because the next thing he heard was a disgusted groan.

"Ugh, what the hell is that!" Dean yelled as he threw the box down in the table.

Sam stopped walking and turned to his brother with a smug grin. "They're called vegetables, Dean" he quipped. "They generally grow from the ground and are high in many vitamins and minerals such as-"

"That ain't right" Dean complained angrily. "I should have known it was weird you were bring nice for no reason!"

"But I am the nice one" Sam said putting on his best puppy face.

"You're manipulative" Dean replied. "Why the hell did you do this? To an innocent pie..." He put his hand on the box and bowed his head despairingly. 

"Macaroni and marshmallows, Dean" Sam said as he started to walk away again. "Macaroni and marshmallows."


	69. One Clean, And One Grumpy Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! I hope your day has been pretty chill. Today's rule is from Mynevermore. I hope you like it! Thank you again (and again) for reading and reviewing. You guys are the best!
> 
> Warnings: some not-quite destiel,and some sexual innuendo ;) (yay!)

**69\. My shirts are not buffering rags for the impala! (Sam Winchester)**

Since living in the bunker with his brother and Castiel, Sam had learned that context was key when overhearing certain things. Therefore, when he went outside and heard his brother bossing Castiel around Sam immediately grew concerned.

"Harder, Cas!" 

"I'm...trying" Castiel grunted.

"C'mon, I want to leave it shining!"

Sam stumbled back a little, clutching his chest and mouthing 'oh my God.' That did not sound good.

"Won't Sam be angry when he finds out?" He heard Castiel ask.

"That's what I'm hoping for" Dean replied. Sam frowned; what the hell did he mean by that? 

"Dean, I don't think I have the energy to do this for much longer" Castiel panted.

"Cas, you've only been going for five minutes" Dean retorted. "Just rub faster and that should get the job done easily."

Sam felt like he needed to sit down. He anxiously ran his fingers through his hair and started to pace. No, there was no way it was what it sounded like. They wouldn't just _do it_ outside where anyone could see...would they?

"You just gotta go look" Sam told himself. "And if they are....well then you run away, and later you tell them you're not mad, you're totally cool with it...you'll just need therapy for the foreseeable future. Okay..."

Sam took a deep breath before cautiously heading up the steps and peering just above the ground level.

He had never been more relieved to see his brother with his clothes on. Dean was using a rag to buffer one side of the Impala whilst Castiel was doing the other. They were just cleaning the car. Sam allowed himself to breathe.

"Hey" he called out a little shakily as he approached them. "I think we have a case."

"Awesome. Baby should be ready to go in a couple of minutes" Dean said with a proud smile.

"Okay, I'll just go get the..." Sam trailed off when he realised exactly what Dean was using to buffer the car. "That's my shirt" he said pointing at the now wet and dirty garment. "Why are you cleaning the car with my shirts?!"

"Because you made me eat vegetable pie!" Dean replied juvenilely.

Sam made sure to put on his sternest bitch face which read 'seriously?'

"Does it matter? They all look the same anyways" Dean mumbled.

"You're one to talk" Sam scoffed. "And he only owns one shirt!" He pointed at Castiel.

"And you can't have it" Castiel said worriedly as he wrapped his coat tighter around himself, fearing Sam would want a replacement. 

"Relax, short stuff" Sam deadpanned. "I don't want to show off my midriff."

"Ooh, someone's getting bitchy" Dean said with an amused smirk. "Maybe I should try and rub that off" he threatened, waving the shirt in Sam's face.

Sam snatched his shirt back and gave his brother one last glare before storming back to the bunker. 

"I think Samantha's got her panties in a bunch."

"Who?"

Dean sighed. "Never mind, Cas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, Dean is not allowed to giggle like a little girl when he sees this is rule 69 (WritingBRB)


	70. On The Prowl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What's up my beautiful cinnamon rolls? Hope you're having a good weekend! Today's wild suggestion is from MaddyR (finally ;) ) I hope you like it! Thank you everyone for your reviews, you guys make me laugh too XD 
> 
> Also, tomorrow starts the week of Castiel's reign of terror! After all the trouble he gets into I'm finally down to your rules that the little angel has for his hunting buddies (yey!)

**70\. Do not transform yourself into an animal without prior notice! (Dean Winchester)**

When Dean woke up he couldn't tell if it was his still semi-conscious mind which was making him imagine the deep purring noises coming from the corner of his room.

"Beat it, fuzz balls" he mumbled, thinking that Castiel's cats had gotten in.

The noises didn't stop and Dean grew more irritated. He sat up abruptly to face the corner.

"I said go-" he started to yell, but then he spotted the disturbingly familiar bright blue eyes which certainly didn't belong to the cats. 

Suddenly, out of the shadows, a paw appeared; massive and black. Dean's eyes widened and his chest felt so tight that he couldn't breathe as the animal prowled forwards, revealing itself to be a giant sleek feline which resembled a panther.

"Holy shit!" Dean cried as he panicked and started to scramble back on his bed.

The big cat kept approaching him with careful precision. It didn't look fierce, but calculating. None of that mattered to Dean though as the beast let out an impressive snarl.

Dean was completely overwhelmed with confusion and fright. This wasn't a supernatural being in his room, this was a real wild animal! So, he did the only logical thing he could think to do at the time. He fainted.

\--------------------

"Dean?" The hunter groaned in protest at whoever was shaking his shoulders, but this only provoked them to try harder. "Dean!"

Dean smacked his lips lazily as he finally allowed his eyes to open. Everything was a bit hazy, and he had had the strangest dream. Except...it hadn't been a dream.

"Ah, cat!" Dean screamed as he suddenly shot up in bed, right into the arms of Castiel.

"Dean, you need to calm down" the angel urged.

"No, Cas, they're was a giant, a-and I mean a _huge_ , right over there!" Dean spluttered as he pointed desperately at the corner. "A-and the paws, and the eyes, and the _growling_." He stopped to gulp for air. "Oh, man, I don't feel so good..." He started to fall back again. 

Castiel quickly caught him and shook him again. ""Dean! Dean, it was me. I was the cat."

Dean blinked a couple of times before looking up at Castiel with a total lack of comprehension.

"W-what?"

"I turned myself into that cat."

"H-how? Why?" Dean was steadily growing more angry as this sunk in.

"Well it's mainly due to a series of complex formulas to do with molecular manipulation. You see-"

"Okay, Einstein" Dean cut in frustratedly. "Let's just stick to, ya know, what the hell?!"

"Well I just wanted to see if I could" Castiel shrugged. "There have been rumours of Angels achieving it before."

"Why'd you come into my room?!" 

"To show you! I thought you'd think it was 'awesome!'" Castiel said with air quotes.

"Clearly not!" Dean yelled.

"I think you reacted quite well, actually" 

"How?!"

"Well, your sheets are still dry."

"...get out."

"But-"

"Out!"


	71. Going Down Swinging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings, how are you all? Sorry it’s been a couple of days, I’ve suffered some technical difficulties, however things are back on track now and Castiel can set these boys straight! Today’s rule is from IceCream313. Thank you so much for your awesome comments and for reading, you guys really are supermegafoxyawesomehot :’) Enjoy! Xx

**71\. No swords or weapons of any kind are permitted in the library. (Castiel)**

“You guys, this is so lame” Dean groaned as absentmindedly spun the sword he was holding around in his right hand. 

They were in the library where Sam and Castiel had been happily researching for most of the morning. Dean, however, had grown bored of the heavy reading quite quickly, and so had gone to retrieve the sword he had discovered to be very sharp upon their first arrival at the bunker.

“Would you put that down, please?” Castiel asked. “It’s making me quite nervous.”

“Ha, why? ‘Cause it’s bigger than yours?” Dean responded in a juvenile teasing tone.

“Seriously?” Sam said with a raised eyebrow.

“My angel blade is perfectly functional as both an attack and defensive weapon” Castiel said protectively as he glared at Dean.

“Pft, that thing is a letter opener compared to this bad boy” Dean claimed as he brandished the sword up in the air.

“Dean, I didn’t know that you were the bad boy type” Sam said with a smirk without looking up from the page he was reading.

“Very funny” Dean said sarcastically as he pointed the sword in his brother’s direction. “But I am a bad boy, and the ladies love it.”

“Clearly. That’s why you’re stood here with us whining instead of having relations with one of them” Castiel quipped.

Sam’s jaw dropped slightly and he gave an impressed laugh. “Dude” he said to Dean. “You just got burned by an Angel of the Lord…about having _sex_.”

Dean himself seemed speechless after Castiel’s retort. It annoyed him that the angel looked pretty smug.

“You’ve had sex once, with a _reaper_ ” Dean finally replied. “You ain’t exactly a Casanova.”

“No…I’m a Cas _tiel_ ” the angel replied, misunderstanding the reference.

“Whatever” Dean finally gave in. “The point is, I just want to do something with a little more…stabbing” he said as he lunged forward and nudged one of the bookcases with the sword.

“Don’t do that! The stuff in here is really old and valuable” Sam warned.

“Sorry, _dad_. I’ve been training with stuff like this since I was eight. I’m not going to break anything.”

“You have in fact broken the world on more than one occasion” Castiel mumbled.

“Not the same thing” Dean deadpanned.

“Anyway, I agree with Sam” Castiel said. “If you’re not going to help then find some other way to ease your tedium.”

“Fine” Dean scoffed. “I know when I’m not wanted” he claimed, but continued to swing the sword around. “I guess I’ll just-”

He swung the sword a little too forcefully backwards and it ended up slicing through a pile of precariously stacked books. They all came cascading down with subsequent thuds, each one causing Dean to cringe and his shoulders to tense. Sam and Castiel looked at him with matching unimpressed expressions.

“Oops?”

“ _This_ is why we can’t have nice things, Dean” Sam said.

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but instead lowered his head and skulked away.

“I’m going to the wall” Castiel sighed.


	72. Poor Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sweet little marshmallows! What have you all been up to? Today’s rule is from DPR. Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading these ridiculous stories and hello to newcomers! Also, thank you for reviewing, I really appreciate it. Hope you like! X 
> 
> (P.S: I am Cas and Dean in this scenario.)

**72\. No interrupting of Soap Operas when I am watching. (Castiel)**

Sam was walking down to the kitchen when he heard Castiel’s distressed cry.

“No!”

The hunter frowned, not sure if he should be concerned or panicked as he followed the direction he had heard Castiel’s voice come from.

He found the angel curled up in an arm chair in a dark and virtually empty room. Castiel had his laptop balanced on his knees as he watched the screen intensely with wide eyes. He looked distraught, and Sam wasn’t sure how to react to that.

“Uh, Cas?” the hunter said as he cautiously approached the angel. “Everything okay?”

“No, not at all” Castiel mumbled sadly.

“Oh god…what’s happened now?” Sam asked, feeling his chest get a little tighter with anxious anticipation. 

“Alonso is about to walk in on his wife, Carmen, having an affair with his brother, Hugo.”

Sam’s face immediately fell from one of concern to what Dean would have labelled ‘a sound bitch face.’

“What?” he asked bluntly. 

“Ssh!” Castiel hissed, raising a finger to his lips.

Sam looked rightly affronted. He went and stood next to Castiel so that he could see the laptop screen and finally found what the cause of the angel’s distress was.

“You’re watching one of those Spanish soap operas?” he said incredulously. “Dean has totally brainwashed you with this crap, hasn’t he? Next you’ll be watching anime…and not the narrative kind either.”

Castiel exhaled deeply through his nose and looked up at the hunter. 

“Sam, I don’t mean to cause you any offence, but would you please go away?”

Sam looked down at the angel astonished.

“This is my house! Bunker, whatever!” 

“I know, but I’m trying to watch this and I don’t want to miss anything” Castiel explained innocently. “You’re being distracting.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry” Sam said sarcastically. 

“Apology accepted” Castiel replied sincerely.

Sam didn’t know what else to say. He was about to storm away when Dean walked by and spotted the two of them.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Oh, you can’t talk in here” Sam told him as he stubbornly folded his arms. 

Dean listened for a moment and realised that it was Spanish he heard coming from Cas’ laptop.

“You’re watching it?!” he exclaimed excitedly as he hurried over and sat on the arm of the chair beside Castiel.

“Yes, but now I have to skip back a little because Sam won’t stop talking to me.”

Sam’s jaw dropped a little. “But Dean just-!”

“Ssh” his older brother said and as now both he and Castiel were watching the show with matching faces of awe.

Sam sighed heavily. “I can’t believe you guys-“

“Go away, Sam!” Castiel and Dean shouted in unison. 

“Fine!” Sam yelled back. He strode out of the room grumbling angrily to himself. “Asshats.”

“How very rude” Castiel murmured.


	73. Creating A Buzz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cool beans! How’s it all going? Castiel’s rules continue, and today it comes from Randomskittles. I do like to write about Sam and Dean being childish once in a while. Poor Papa!Cas. Thank you for reading and for your encouraging comments. Enjoy! Xx

**73\. No Winchesters allowed in my garden. (Castiel)**

Sam and Dean were looking for Castiel as they were about to head out to a hunt. There was no sign of the angel in the bunker, so they decided to venture up to Castiel’s garden which he had located amongst the trees to the side of the building. 

The Winchesters had never actually seen Castiel’s garden before, and when they arrived they were slightly taken aback by the beauty of it. It was situated in a small clearing and consisted of various flower beds, a little pond, some bird houses and feeders, and of course, beehives. Castiel was watering the rose bushes when the Winchester’s approached.

“Wow, Cas. You’ve really brought life to this dead ol’ forest” Dean said.

“Yes” Castiel smiled proudly. “It’s very much like the one I had in heaven.”

“It looks great” Sam added. “Anyways, we were just heading out to a werewolf. Wanna come with?”

“Of course, just let me get some more water to finish nourishing these plants. It shouldn’t take long.” Castiel started to head back to the bunker when he called over his shoulder. “Please don’t touch anything!”

“Dammit” Dean hissed as he clenched his fists. “Why did he have to say that?”

Sam frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well now I want to touch _everything_ ” Dean confessed. 

Sam looked at his brother with disbelief. “I’m sorry, how old are you again?”

“My mental age doesn’t match my physical one sometimes.”

“You know that’s something only old people say, right?”

“Shut up.”

Dean shoved his younger brother’s shoulder to display his annoyance, but it ended up being a little too forceful and Sam stumbled back into Castiel’s daffodils, trampling them all.

Dean gasped. “ _Sam!_ ”

“What? No! That was your fault!”

“Cas is going to be so mad at you.”

“But you pushed me!”

“Cas and I have a _profound bond_ , remember. Who do you think he’ll believe?”

“Jerk!” Sam huffed in response. 

“Relax” Dean said with a dismissive hand wave before he started to stroll around the rest of the garden. “If his healing powers work on humans then why not plants? They’re living organisms, right?”

He stopped over by the beehives and peered inside of one.

“Don’t get too close” Sam warned. “You might-” There was a sudden low hum which kept growing louder and louder as the bees started to swarm. “-disturb them” the younger Winchester trailed off defeated.

Dean’s eyes widened as he quickly retreated behind his brother as the bees started to fly out.

“What are you doing!?” Sam yelled.

“You’re bigger! Look big and scary!” 

“That’s for bear attacks, Idiot!”

The brothers suddenly heard a shout of Enochian and turned to see Castiel with his hand raised. The bees all buzzed back into their hive. Castiel stood with his hands on his hips waiting patiently for an explanation.

Sam and Dean shared a look before pointing at each other.

“He did it!” They shouted in unison. 

Castiel rolled his eyes.


	74. Cas Can Fix It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people of earth (or not?), how are ya’ll doing today? Personally, I watched 6 hours of Supernatural – so day well spent! This rule comes from BarPurple. The last part of this story is sort of an allusion towards the fact it irritates me the writers seem to forget the variety of powers Castiel has sometimes. I hope you enjoy it though! Thank you for reading and reviewing :) xx

**74\. Leave DIY tasks to Angels of the Lord. (Castiel)**

"Sam, what are you doing?" Castiel asked curiously when he entered the main hall and found the younger Winchester stood on a stepladder.

"Remember that moth Dean tried to shoot?" Castiel nodded. "Well, he never repaired the collateral damage and it's been bugging me so I thought I'd try to fix it” Sam explained, indicating to the plastering equipment he was holding.

The door suddenly opened and Dean entered the bunker with a grin on his face.

"You guys will never guess what I found!"

"A dodo egg" Castiel replied.

Dean froze by the table and frowned at him. "What?"

"Well...the bird is extinct, so it would be pretty amazing if you found one of its eggs."

Dean blinked from lack of comprehension and looked at Sam for help, but he just shrugged. 

"No, Cas" Dean finally replied. "Anyway...I went into this record store and I found this framed poster from AC/DCs first concert" he said excitedly as he took it out the bag. "I wanna hang it over there" he indicated to the wall.

"Yes, that will fit in nicely with all the ancient relics and thousand year old literature" Sam said sarcastically.

"Hey, this thing will be worth some cash in a few years" Dean argued. “Cas, do me a favour and hold it against the wall. I'm gunna get a hammer."

Castiel did as he was asked and waited for Dean to return with his tools. The hunter placed a nail against the wall and then positioned the hammer on top of it. Castiel watched with slight trepidation as Dean brought the hammer down.

"Dean-"

Sam suddenly calling his name startled Dean and the hammer went off course. Castiel heard the crack as it came down on Dean's fingers.

Dean cried out in pain. "Son of a bitch!" He cradled his hand against his chest.

"Dean, come here" Castiel said as he placed his fingers on Dean’s forehead and healed the injury.

Dean turned to his brother as soon as Castiel was done. 

“What the hell, Sam!?” 

“I’m sorry?” Sam said sheepishly.

“You better be, bitch!” Dean retorted as he thoughtlessly threw a book across the room. 

In an attempt to avoid the flying object Sam leaned a little too far over on the ladder and it started to wobble dangerously. Sam tried to get his balance, but it was too late, and he was soon toppling to the side.

Castiel reacted quickly, teleporting across the room, and catching Sam to place him back on his feet safely.

“Man, you couldn’t have just looked like more of a damsel in distress” Dean teased.

“Shut up” Sam demanded with bitch face #12 in place. 

“I think you should leave this DIY stuff to me” Castiel warned. 

“Why’s that?” Sam asked.

“It’s much safer when you can do these things telekinetically” Castiel said, lifting the hammer in the air from across the room to prove his point. 

“Why don’t you use that power more often?” Dean questioned.

“I forget.”


	75. With Great Pouting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful muffins! It’s Halloween and I am sat alone in my room writing (life well spent), I much prefer Bonfire night anyway ;) Today’s rule is from Randomskittles. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and for the lovely comments. I hope you like it :) xx

**75\. No taking advantage of my powers. (Castiel)**

Castiel had been sat at the table with Sam researching for most of the afternoon. The younger Winchester suddenly let out a hiss of pain and Castiel looked up to see Sam sucking on his thumb with a grimace.

“Is this a sign you’re reverting back to infantilism again?” The angel asked. “Although, I did catch Dean sucking his thumb once when he was sleeping, but he made me promise not to tell….oh.” 

Sam looked at Castiel with surprise, and then with an almost malevolent smirk. No doubt Dean was going to be hearing about that later.

“No, I got a papercut” Sam told Castiel, showing him the small bleeding wound. “It stings like a bitch.”

Castiel frowned. “It’s minuscule.”

Sam pouted and held his hand out the angel. “Heal it for me?”

Castiel’s eyes widened a little. “But it would be a waste of-”

“Please, Cas” Sam interrupted, making sure to put on his best puppy dog look. 

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine” he said reluctantly.

He leaned forward and touched Sam’s finger. The cut disappeared instantly. 

“Cas!”

The angel looked around and saw Dean striding into the room with a very serious expression on his face.

“Yes?”

“I have a major problem.”

“Oh, I think there’s more than one” Sam mumbled to himself.

Dean shot his brother an unimpressed look before turning back to Cas.

“What is it?” Castiel asked with determination to help.

“Well, I’m all out of pecan pie but I won’t be able to drive to the bakery before it closes. Do you think maybe you could fly on down there and pick some up for me?”

Castiel’s expression fell flat again. “That is what you constitute as a ‘major problem’?” 

“It will be one for us if he doesn’t get what he wants” Sam jibed. “There will be a lot of sulking involved.”

“Shut up, okay?” Dean said to his brother. “After everything I have to put up with I think I deserve pie when I want it.”

“But, Dean, I don’t want to go” Castiel groaned. “That’s a lot of power to use for something so insignificant.”

“C’mon, Cas, I thought we were BFFs!” Dean argued.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“It means he’s trying to guilt trip you” Sam said.

“I thought you just did the exact same thing” Castiel responded. “I’m not as ignorant as you think, you know.”

Sam sunk back in his chair after that and started studying his book more intensely than before.

“Please?” Dean begged, clasping his hands together and closing his eyes. 

“Are you seriously praying to me right now about pie?”

“Yes.”

“Okay!” Castiel finally exclaimed with exasperation. “I’ll go. But I’m not letting either of you take advantage of my powers anymore. _I_ will decide when they are needed…do _you_ capiche?”

Sam and Dean shared a slightly wary look before replying in unison. “Capiche.”

“Good” Castiel said before he disappeared.


	76. Spoiler Alert!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dearest companions! I hope everything is okay with you. Today’s rule is from A. Zap. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’ve been having a rough few days and they help make me smile :) xx
> 
> Spoiler Warnings: As the title suggests, this chapter is about the annoyance of spoilers. There are major spoilers for the 6th Harry Potter book and the 7th Season finale of Dexter. Additionally, some very minor spoilers from episode 11x03 of Supernatural. So, don’t say I didn’t warn you ;)

**76\. No spoilers of any sort for any of the pop culture that I am in the middle of consuming. (Castiel)**

“Come in” Castiel said when there was a knock on his bedroom door. Sam walked in with a tentative smile. “You know, it really isn’t necessary for you and Dean to keep checking up on me. I’m fine.”

“I know, but honestly I’m kinda bored so I wondered if you wanted to do something” Sam said. “But I can see you’re busy” he added with an amused smirk.

Castiel was laid on his back holding a book over his head. His eyes had been darting across the page with deep concentration but he stopped to look at Sam.

“Well since you and Dean are still forcing me to relax, and Dean banned from Netflix because he said I’d go square-eyed, I thought I’d try and consume some popular culture in a different way.”

“Right” Sam said with a chuckle as he went and sat on the end of the bed. “What are you reading?”

“Harry Potter” Castiel replied. “It’s about wizards and witches, but not the types of witches you and Dean terminate. Not like Rowena” he added bitterly. “Did I tell you she called me a fish? What does that even-?”

“Yeah, Cas” Sam interrupted before the angel went into a full blown rant. “You told me, and I’ve read the Harry Potter books.”

“They’re very compelling” Castiel spoke more lightly now, dropping his arms so that the book rested on his chest. “I’ve nearly finished the sixth one and it is very intense.”

“Right, Snape has killed Dumbledore” Sam said.

Castiel blinked and looked blankly at the younger Winchester for a few moments.

“What?”

Sam realised that Castiel hadn’t actually confirmed that he’d got to that part of the book just yet. 

“Uh…or…maybe he hasn’t?” The hunter tried to pass off with an innocent shrug. “Maybe I lied to mess with you, I do that sometimes you know, just ask Dean.”

“Sam” Castiel groaned as he threw the book down on the bedside table.

“Sorry” Sam said sheepishly.

“Hey, I didn’t know we were holding a nerd convention here today” Dean said with grin as he appeared in the doorway. “You should have said; I would have made Margaritas.” He noticed the sulky pout Castiel had. “What’s up with you, Assbutt?”

“Sam just ruined the end of the book I’ve been reading” Castiel mumbled.

“Well that wasn’t very nice” Dean said looking at his brother with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t do it on purpose” Sam defended.

“C’mon, Cas, I know what’ll cheer you up” Dean said. “Let’s go finish watching Dexter on Netflix. Man, can you believe Deb actually killed LaGureta?”

“What!?” Castiel exclaimed. 

“Yeah, the season seven finale” Dean said quietly.

“I’m only season five!”

“Oh” Dean grimaced. “Sorry. My bad.”

“I am putting an end to this” Castiel said as he got up off the bed. “This stuff is all I care about now!” He yelled as he left the room. 

“We need to get him outside again” Sam said to his brother.

“Agreed.”


	77. I AM An Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! How are you all doing? Today’s rule is from a Guest reviewer. Again it’s sort of based on the aftermath of 11x03, but there are no real spoilers. Beware of grumpy!Cas ;) Thank you very muchly for reading and commenting :) xx

**77\. Do not force me to partake in basic human needs. (Castiel)**

“Hey, Cas, why don’t you have some breakfast?” Dean asked.

Castiel looked down at the array of foods the hunter had laid out on the table and scrunched his nose with aversion.

“Dean, you know I don’t eat.”

“Yeah well, what harm could it do?”

“None, but it will just taste like molecules.”

“Would you just…” Dean trailed off indicating forcefully at the stack of toast on the plate next to him. “Please? For my own peace of mind, just eat something.”

Castiel sighed as he sat down opposite the hunter. “Is this you continuing to mother me? I told you days ago that I’m fine. Yet you insist on making me wear these pyjamas” he said looking down at his new fuzzy attire. “You make me rest in bed.”

“Oh jeez, Cas, I’m sorry that we’ve been such horrible people” Dean said sarcastically. “Making you relax. Shameful.”

“Next you’ll make use the toilet again” Castiel mumbled. “I hate that thing.”

“Well it’s nice to know you’re housetrained” Dean replied a smirk. 

Castiel looked back at him exasperated. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I’m fine? I really am fine, Dean. I just want to get back to normal and go on hunts with you and Sam. I’m fine.”

“Really?” Dean said with a raised eyebrow. “Because for me, you just said you were fine one too many times.” Castiel ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in the chair; it was a very human gesture. “I’m sorry, Cas, but this is the only way I know how to take care of people.”

“I appreciate the concern but-”

“No buts, Cas” Dean insisted. “This is just what family does for each other. Now, shut up and have some pancakes” he said pushing a plate in front of the angel.

Castiel gave him a defiant look, but when Dean only stared back the angel gave up and picked up a fork. He cut off a chunk of the pancake and chewed it thoughtfully for a while.

“So?” Dean asked.

“A little too much Calcium Carbonate and not enough Thiamine.” 

“Alright, smartass” Dean said. “Go and get a shower and we’ll take a walk.”

“I don’t need to shower. I don’t get dirty or odorous.”

“That’s what you think.”

Castiel frowned at him.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Sam asked as he entered the room.

“We are going to have a family outing and actually do something instead of sitting around waiting for our menses to sync” Dean said. “Although I think Cas is already on his.”

“You do realise you included yourself in that, right?” Sam said.

“Don’t think into it” Dean replied.

“I would be happy to go out” Castiel said. 

“Good. Go get dressed” Dean instructed.

“Alright” Castiel said a little petulantly. “But I’m not allowing you to continue to boss me around like this.”

“Fine” Dean relented. “Let’s get a move on.”


	78. Pardon My Enochian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s going on sugarplums? I hope everything is okay. Today’s rule is from J. Ya’ll know what I’m going to say, but I’m going to keep saying it anyway; thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I can’t believe I’m on my way to 100 of these XD

**78\. Do not use Enochian to call each other ‘Bitch’ and ‘Jerk’. (Castiel)**

“Man, I am getting sick of putting on these damn monkey suits” Dean complained as he started to yank off his tie. “And I can’t believe we drove all the way down there for a false alarm. I told you it wasn’t our thing!”

“It was worth checking out. It sounded like a werewolf attack!” Sam retorted. “And you didn’t need to start arguing with me about it in front of the police officers!”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, okay? They didn’t hear anything. Cas, back me up here?”

“No. I’m annoyed at both of you” Castiel replied bluntly. “Those officers might not know what you said, but I do.”

Sam and Dean shared a slightly dubious look.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“You kept calling each other Bitch and Jerk, but you did it in Enochian!” Castiel accused.

“Okay, yes, we did” Sam said as it looked like Dean was going to argue. He certainly looked like his younger brother had betrayed him after that. “We wanted to be able to insult each other in public.”

Castiel looked between the two brothers for a few moments. “That’s one of the stupidest things you’ve ever come up with” he said with a blank expression.

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed as he pointed a finger of warning at Castiel, clearly affronted. Castiel just raised his eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest. “You are probably right!” Dean ended up saying with the same amount of conviction. 

“We’re sorry, Cas, we just knew no one would have heard Enochian before” Sam explained.

“You are using the beautiful and pure language of heaven just to insult each other. I don’t like you doing that.” 

“Yeah, well, if that’s the case you shouldn’t even have words for those things” Dean claimed with a smug grin.

Castiel sighed with exasperation. 

“Cas, I’ve wanted to ask you to teach me Enochian for a while now” Sam told him. “But we’ve never really had the time.”

Castiel looked at Sam calculatingly for a moment. “You’re not just saying that?”

“No, it would be really useful if I could at least read it” Sam said sincerely.

“Then I suppose I can teach you” Castiel said. 

“You know he’ll want to start with the swear words” Dean but in. “Everyone wants to start with the swear words when they learn a new language.”

“You don’t want me to teach you too?” Castiel asked.

Dean scoffed. “Uh, no, I got a C minus in the last English class I took, never mind some angel mumbo jumbo language.”

“It is not-” Castiel was about to argue, but knew there was no point. Instead he just took a deep breath. “Humans” he muttered to himself as he started walk away. “Sometimes I think I should have just stepped on that fish.”

Sam and Dean shared a dubious look.

‘Fish?’ Sam mouthed to his brother.

Dean could only shrug.


	79. Caught Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! How is everything going? Today’s rule is from CarverEdlundtheLast. You guys know I like to throw something a lil’ dramatic/angsty in every once in a while to shake things up a little, be warned this is one of those times. Thank you for reading and for your wonderful reviews :) xx

**79\. Sibling rivalry is not an acceptable excuse for any collateral damage to the bunker or a brother. (Castiel)**

Castiel was heading to the library when he heard the loud crash. Not knowing if it was something to be concerned about or ignored, the angel decided to go and investigate. He entered the room to find Sam and Dean stood around a shattered jar with some sort of translucent goo puddled on the floor. Dean had a football tucked under his arm.

“I told you, you throw like a girl!” Dean yelled at his brother. “It wasn’t aimed anywhere near me!”

“Seriously? I’ve seen plenty of girls throw you all over the place” Sam argued. “So, enough with those bigoted insults! Besides, if you really want to go there you are the one who is literally named after our _grandmother, Deanna._ ” 

“Hey, she was a badass lady!”

“What’s going on?” Castiel asked.

“Dean bet me I couldn’t throw the football anywhere near as far as he could” Sam grumbled. “The jar got knocked over because Dean missed an easy catch and can’t admit it!” 

“You are so full of crap” Dean accused. “Here’s an easy catch!”

He threw the ball at Sam’s head but the younger Winchester ducked. Castiel felt the ball skim across the top of his hair but he remained looking at Dean with the same stoic expression. The ball flew into the wall and chipped some of the brickwork. 

“What the hell!?” Sam exclaimed. “You threw that way too hard and you know it!”

“Oh, boo-hoo” Dean said mockingly as Sam went to pick up the ball. “It’s not my fault you chose being a nerd over playing sports.”

“You know what? It’s wasn’t my choice! Because instead of taking me to play football at the park like a normal big brother, you just did whatever dad told you to do with me, and that was it!”

Sam threw the ball back at Dean and went to leave. The ball hit Dean square in his face. Dean gasped with pain and put a hand over his eye.

“Dean, are you alright?” Castiel asked concernedly.

“Yeah, I’m fine” Dean said quietly.

“Dean, let me see-”

“I’m fine, Cas.”

Castiel sighed and decided to go after Sam instead. He found the younger Winchester sat on the end of his bed with his head in his hands.

“I know that was harsh” Sam mumbled. “He’s done so much more for me than that.”

“I think Dean needs to hear that” Castiel replied. “And he’s going to get a black eye, so I need you to sit on him whilst I heal it, okay?”

Sam gave a small smile. He followed Castiel back to Dean, who was now sat at the table looking blankly at the wall. When he saw Sam though, Dean stood up.

“Sam-”

He stopped when his younger brother wrapped his arms around him tightly.

“I’m sorry” Sam said.

Dean looked surprised at first, but then he hugged Sam back.

Castiel smiled. “I’m getting the hang of this” he said to himself.


	80. Drunken Doodles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there sugar peas! Sorry I haven’t updated in a few days but I’ve been working late. This rule comes courtesy of a Guest reviewer. I hope you like it! As always thank you for reading and reviewing :) x

**80\. Do not draw on the bunker walls for fun. It must be useful. (Sam Winchester)**

"Don't get up. You don't care" Sam tried to convince himself as he stared up at the ceiling in his dark room with despair. 

It was difficult to sleep though, when he could hear Dean and Castiel giggling together like children from down the hall. No doubt they had been drinking again, and when his brother and their best friend got drunk together, that always meant annoying - and sometimes traumatic - consequences for Sam.

"Oh, what are you doing?" Sam groaned as he got up from his bed and started to walk to the door. "You're actually going to look. Idiot."

Sam rubbed his eyes and flicked his hair back at his bare feet pattered across the floor. He found Dean and Castiel sat by one of the walls each holding a marker pen from the rule room. 

Dean was kneeled down with his tongue poking out slightly in deep concentration. He seemed to be working on some kind of crude portrait. Castiel was sat next to him, cross-legged, and squinting deeply as he kept failing to actually get the pen to meet the wall.

"What the heck are you guys doing?" Sam asked.

"Ssh!" Castiel scolded, turning to the younger Winchester with a finger on his lips. "You're gunna wake up Sam!"

Sam's confused expression fell into a sound bitch face. "You don't see a problem with that statement, Einstein?"

Castiel frowned. "Who?" He turned to Dean and started patting him vigorously on the shoulder. "Dean. Hey, Dean."

"Yes, sir?"

"Did I get a new name again? Einstein?"

Dean's brow furrowed as if he were in deep thought. "I don't think so. But you know what name suited you? Emmanuel. You should try that out again."

Castiel looked pensive as he rubbed his chin. "Yeah, maybe..."

"Guys!" Sam interrupted their drunken rambling. "Why are you drawing over the walls like a couple of three year olds? If it's not a rule in the room or a warding symbol then it's just vandalism."

"Well I did suggest using our own blood" Castiel said. "But Dean said that was too, uh...emo?" 

"’Cha."

"That doesn't matter!" Sam argued. "What matters is that you're defacing the bunker to...play tic-tac-toe" he said, looking at the wobbly drawn grid with noughts and crosses barely in the boxes.

"Look at my drawing" Dean said with an over exaggerated point. 

Castiel leaned over to have a better look and laughed. 

"That's hilarious."

Sam went and stood behind Dean.

"Who is it supposed to be?"

"You!" Dean giggled. "And look; stink lines." 

Sam rolled his eyes. 

"You're gunna scrub this all of."

"You're a scrub!" Dean accused.

"Ugh, that's it" Sam said as he snatched Castiel’s pen despite his whines of protest and headed off down the hall.

“Meaner” Dean grumbled.


	81. Searching For Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful readers! How have you been this week? Today’s rule is from Avalin Rose Ellyot! Thank you so much for reading, and for leaving encouraging comments – can’t believe I’m on my way to 100 rules! Enjoy :) xx

**81\. Do not go through your brother’s search history – it’s for your own good. (Castiel)**

"Hey Cas, what are you reading?" Sam asked the angel, who was looking very studious as he sat at the table hunched over a worn looking book.

"It's about Djinn" Castiel replied. "Since I'm going on more hunts with you now, I wanted to refresh my memory with the basic creatures."

"Oh, cool. Actually, Dean found a great piece about them online a few days ago. I can't remember what the site was called though." Sam frowned as he tried to remember. He then realised Dean's laptop was still on the table from their previous researching session. "Maybe I can find it in his history" he mused as he sat down in front of it.

Castiel frowned a little. "Is that a wise idea? It seems like an invasion of Dean's privacy."

Sam scoffed. "Trust me, Dean likes to think he's a man of mystery, but I'm his little brother and I know, and have seen way more of him then I probably should have."

Castiel wasn't sure he wanted to know what Sam meant by that. 

"Alright" he conceded instead.

Sam opened up Dean's recent searches.

"Let's see..." His brow furrowed with confusion at some of the stranger requests. "What are the potential health hazards of swallowing a fly?"

Castiel looked up at Sam. "Well, they-"

"No, it's one of the things Dean was looking at" Sam said with some amusement.

"Oh" Castiel said. "Well, good for him. They are high in protein."

Sam grimaced and shook his head a little as he scrolled further down.

"Freckle removal surgery? What? C'mon, Dean."

"I don't understand why he dislikes them so much" Castiel said.

"Well...one time when I was five and Dean was asleep on the couch I got a marker and started playing connect the dots with his face."

"Ah" Castiel said. "So you've traumatised him?"

Sam looked affronted. "That's a bit of a strong word...but yes; I suppose it's a possibility." 

He continued scrolling for a while before coming across something which made his jaw drop a little.  
"Oh your father."

"What about him?"

Sam turned the laptop around so Castiel could see the screen.

"Doctor Sexy fanfiction" Sam whispered. "I can't believe Dean reads is stuff!"

"What's it about?"

"No way, I'm not reading it." 

Castiel squinted as he tried to understand the words. "Oh Doctor, she whimpered. Take off everything but the boots. All I want is for you to put your-”

“No! Stop!” Sam exclaimed as he quickly turned the laptop around and closed the page. The next thing he found was a video link. 

All Castiel heard was a woman’s moan, and Sam’s horrified cry of “That’s not supposed to go in there!” before the younger Winchester slammed the laptop shut and pushed it away like it burned.

“Now do you think it was a bad idea?” Castiel asked. Sam nodded slowly, looking haunted. “I hope you remember that.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll forget anytime soon” Sam replied distantly.


	82. Partners In Crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! I hope you’re having a good week. Today’s rule is from Amy Roberts. Starring Sassy!Cas because he just gets so despaired with these brothers sometimes. Thank you for reading and commenting; I love you all! Xx

**82\. Do not put gel in my hair! (Sam Winchester)**

Castiel was sat minding his own business when Dean suddenly slid into the chair opposite him. He folded his arms on the table top and looked at Castiel unblinking, and with a serious expression.

Castiel sighed. "What?" He asked a little snappily.

"I know Sam went through my internet history. I want my revenge."

"Believe me; he punished himself enough doing that."

"I don't care. I have to do this."

"Do you really?"

"Yes."

"And as always you want to drag me into this as an accomplice."

"Obviously."

"No."

"Why not? You don't even know what my plan is."

"Dean, I am a celestial warrior-"

"I'll let you sit shotgun for two weeks." 

"...Fine." 

"Okay, but we gotta wait until tonight when he asleep."

"No, I want to get this over with."

"But if-" Dean started to argue, but Castiel stood up and started to head off down the hall. "Cas?" Dean called after him confusedly. He scampered after the Angel. "Hey, wait up!"

Castiel stopped outside Sam's door and motioned for Dean to wait out of sight. The angel knocked on the door and Sam called for him to come in. He was sat on his bed with his laptop.

"Hey, Cas." 

"Hello, Sam" Castiel said as he approached the younger Winchester. "Can you take a look at my palm? I think there's a splinter in it."

"Uh… yeah, sure."

Castiel raised his hand to Sam but then quickly bopped him on the forehead with it. Sam's eyes felt shut instantly and his head drooped to the side.

"Okay, he's asleep" Castiel called to Dean, but the hunter had secretly been watching.

"Well that's one way to do it."

"Would you prefer I'd hit him over the head with something?"

"Point taken." 

“Okay, now what do we do?” Castiel asked.

“We need this” Dean said as he pulled a small round tub out of his back pocket.

Castiel squinted as he tried to read the label. “Hair gel?”

“Yup. There are two things Sam hates me going near; his laptop, and his precious stupid mane. We are gunna rub this stuff all over it and make him look like Einstein just got electrocuted.”

“Alright” Castiel said, but he didn’t seem sure.

Dean opened the gel and Castiel coated his fingers in the gooey blue stuff, rubbing some experimentally.

“Okay, let’s do this” Dean said with a mischievous grin.

\--------------------

When they had finished Sam’s hair it was covered in solid spikes. Dean wanted to take some pictures on his phone before Castiel tapped Sam on forehead again, and the angel and Dean quickly hurried out of the room.

Sam knew something was wrong the instant he sat up. The last thing he remembered was Castiel coming into his room, and now his head felt heavier.

He trudged over to the mirror in the corner of his room, and his eyes widened in shock. His hair was a solid mess! Sam was furious. 

“Dean!” he bellowed. “Cas!”


	83. Rabbit Food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! How are you all? Sorry it’s been a few days but I went home for the first time in forever so I was with the fam. This suggestion came from Mynevermore. I love you forever for reading and leaving amazing comments. I hope you like! Xx

**83\. Drawing grocery shopping duty is no excuse for just buying rabbit food! (Dean Winchester)**

When Sam went back into the kitchen he found Dean frantically unpacking the grocery bags, whilst Castiel unloaded each item carefully and took time to study the packaging.

"Where is it?" Dean said lowly, sounding almost desperate. "Where is it?!"

Sam sighed; he knew he was going to regret this. "Where's what?"

Dean spun around so fast Sam was surprised his neck didn't snap. "Where's the meat, Sam!?"

"I didn't get any" Sam replied calmly.

Dean's eyes grew wide and Sam swore his skin went a shade paler. "What?"

"Dean, we've just got back off the road after two weeks. You had a burger every single day. So, this week is salad and vegetable based meals."

"B-but you can't do that!" Dean spluttered, pointing at his brother accusingly. "You can't make me live off rabbit food! Rule number two remember? Meals have to be served with meat."

"Well, go buy your own" Sam huffed.

"No, you should have thought about me" Dean sulked. "It is illegal to not have meat in this bunker!"

“Oh!” Castiel suddenly exclaimed excitedly. “Dean, if you need a lawyer then I have just finished season twelve of Law and Order. I am completely ready for this.”

Dean nodded approvingly and turned to give Sam a challenging look, arms strongly folded across his chest. 

Sam gave an amused scoff. “Okay, first of all, I studied law at Stanford for two years. You can’t even compete. Secondly, our rules aren’t actual law, Dean. The bunker isn't our own state or something."

"Well if it was it would be called Huntopia and our flag would be two machetes on a field of valour.” 

Sam looked at his brother like he’d finally gone insane. “Not that you’ve thought about it” he mumbled sarcastically.

“You can’t tell me I can’t have meat; that’s not what we agreed to. Huntopia is a democracy, Sam!”

“Dean!”

“You do sound like more of a dictator right now, Dean” Castiel chimed in. 

“You should have just stopped at dick” Sam jibed.

“I can’t believe you have turned against me” Dean said to Castiel, looking shamed. “What happened to our profound bond!?”

“You keep telling me not to bring that up!” Castiel argued.

“He’s trying to use you, Cas” Sam said.

“Oh” Castiel said looking a little hurt.

“No, Cas. C’mon. You know you’re my best friend” Dean urged.

“You’re not just saying that so I’ll side with you?” Castiel muttered.

“No. You can do whatever you want, Cas” Dean replied.

“Well, I would appreciate it if the two of you would stop this silly fight. I already had to leave one home because of a civil war.”

“You wanted to fight Sam for me earlier” Dean pointed out.

“I thought it was a game” Castiel replied innocently. 

“Well, I think you’re right” Sam said. “Sorry, Cas.”

“It’s okay.”

“Wanna come to the store again with me?” Dean asked the angel. 

“Yes please” Castiel said with an eager smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (You guys can come up with a better name for the bunker than Dean, right?)


	84. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darling baes! How have you all been? Sorry that’s it’s been a while, but mental illness decided to rear its ugly head, but then I got to go home for my B/Day so all is well again ^_^ This rule is from Trwm. Thank you so much to everyone for continuing to support this story :) With this one, I just really wanted some fluffy feels. Enjoy! Xx 
> 
> Minor Spoilers for Season 11

**84\. Remember to lock the door when confessing to an Angel. (Sam Winchester)**

"Cas, can I talk to you about something?"

The Angel looked up at Sam with an expression of intrigue.

"Of course."

"Do you mind if we go to my room. I don't want Dean to walk in."

Castiel frowned a little - the brothers hiding things from each other never ended well - but he nodded and got up to follow Sam. 

"Is this about another prank?" Castiel asked as he went to sit on the end of Sam's bed; the younger Winchester paced in front of him. "I won’t be involved with...I don't know, gluing his ass to a chair."

"No, it's nothing like that" Sam assured him. "Besides, I already did that to him when I was nine."

"Okay…so what's your issue?"

"Well…there's some stuff I want to get off my chest...confess to, I guess" Sam explained as he sat next to Cas. "And you can't do a confessional with a much higher entity than an angel."

Castiel sighed. "Sam, I don't think this is a good idea. I won't lie to Dean."

"It's not lying it's just...avoiding telling him in the first place" Sam reasoned.

Castiel considered this for a moment before pulling his legs up to cross them on the bed. "Alright. Uh...tell me your sins, child, and I will try to provide absolution."

Sam gave him a confused from which Castiel mirrored.

"That was odd wasn't it?" The Angel asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, don't call me child again."

"Okay, sorry, go on."

"Well...I haven’t sinned; It’s just that lately I feel like I haven't been doing enough for Dean. Like helping him figure this thing out with Amara. There's a part of me that just wants to ignore it. We just got Dean back and...what if we lose him again to Amara? Honestly...it scares me.”

Castiel sighed as he raised his hand, and hesitated a moment before resting it on Sam's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"I think it's okay to feel that way" he said. "What Rowena did to me...has left me shaken. And I think I'm scared to admit that to myself. I think if you weren't scared, it would be more worrying, because it wouldn't be human. As for Dean, he knows that you...we...would do anything for him, and that includes making sure he isn't hurt by Amara."

Sam nodded, and a grateful smile slowly crept onto his lips. Castel suddenly frowned. 

“What?” Sam asked.

Castiel smirked. “We are not alone” he whispered.

Any other question Sam had was answered when Dean came charging into the room and tackled both Sam and Castiel to the bed, wrapping an arm around either of them in a tight hug.

“How long have you been out there?” Sam choked from the tight hold, embarrassed that his brother most likely heard him gushing his feelings. 

“Shut up, I hate you both” Dean mumbled as he was face down in the duvet. 

Castiel and Sam shared an amused look.

“Yeah, we love you too, Dean” Sam replied.


	85. Charlie Is A Ship's Captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! I hope you’re all doing well. Today’s rule is from Crowley'sMooseSquirrel'sAngel (awesome name!) Charlie is back at the bunker, yey! Thank you for reading, and for your wonderful reviews. I hope you like it :) xx

**85\. The word ‘Destiel’ is forbidden from ever being mentioned! (Dean Winchester)**

When Sam heard a knock on the door he was immediately cautious, but when the drumming continued with a more rhythmic beat he knew exactly who it was. He opened the door with an amused smirk.

"Good afternoon, sir. Do you have a few minutes to talk about our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Hey Charlie" he said as she stepped aside so the energetic redhead could come in. "What are you doing here? Not that you aren't welcome any time."

"I just felt like visiting my three favourite bitches: Snap, Crackle, and Pop. You can decide who's who."

"Right" Sam laughed.

"So, where is Dean and my bestie!?" 

"They're both in Dean's room."

Charlie's eyes widened. "What?"

"Not like that" Sam said as she ushered her down the stairs. "They're watching Netflix." 

"And _chilling_?" 

"No" Sam replied, looking disgusted at the thought. 

"Oh." Charlie sounded disappointed. "Man, I was so sure they were into each other."

"Well, I think you've just been reading fanfiction again."

"It's interesting!" Charlie argued. "And it's actually a good way to meet female writers...with passion...and some freaky ideas that I wouldn't mind-"

"Okay!" Sam interrupted. "Charlie, you're like my sister. Please, don't go there." 

"I'm just saying. If Edlund had still been writing his books when I showed up, all the ladies would have been for Charlie." The redhead emphasised the statement by nodding her head with a seductive smirk and gesturing her hands down her body.

Sam couldn't help but laugh, but he still asked; "Can we change the subject please?"

"How can you be sure they're not up to something?" Charlie countered; ignoring the question. "Only one way to find out!" 

"Wait! Charlie!" Sam called when she suddenly ran off.

"Ah-ha!" Charlie shouted as she slammed Dean's bedroom door open.

Dean and Castiel were sat on the bed watching TV. They looked up at Charlie in shock.

"Aw, crap" the redhead whispered.

"Charlie, what the hell?" Dean asked incredulously.

"I thought I'd catch you making out" Charlie shrugged. She threw her bag on to the floor and jumped on the bed. "What are we watching?"

"Wait a second; why the hell would you think we were making out?"

"Destiel" Sam chimed in. He was leaning on the doorframe, watching with amusement.

"I told you not to mention that!" Dean fumed.

"Why does Dean's name get to go first?" Castiel frowned.

"Cas!" Dean exclaimed. "Not the point!"

"Well, Cas, it generally depends on where people...position you" Charlie explained.

"In regards to what?" Castiel asked naively. 

"Castiel!" Dean interrupted.

"Ooh, his full name, said with such authority" Sam jibed. "I bet some people would love that, right Charlie?"

"If both of you don't stop right now I will kick your asses into next week" Dean threatened.

"Is that after you've finished admiring Cas'?" Charlie asked innocently.

"Right! That's it" Dean said gruffly. He quickly exited the room. 

“I don’t understand” Castiel frowned.

“I’ll explain when you’re older” Charlie teased.


	86. The Long Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello cinnamon rolls! How are things going? Sorry if updates are delayed over the next few weeks, I’m working on my assignments to hand in before Christmas. Anyway, this chapter is for Randomskittles who asked for something with a Doctor Sexy marathon. I hope you like it! Fluffy times ahead ;)

**86\. Humans need to sleep! (Castiel)**

"Chips and dips?"

"Yes."

"Pretzels?" 

"Yes."

"Beer?" 

"Yes."

"Great!" Dean said excitedly. He put in the DVD for the first bunch of Doctor Sexy episodes and then threw himself down eagerly on the bed next to Castiel. 

“That’s a more thorough check than you usually do with your hunting gear” Castiel observed. 

“Well, some things are just more important” Dean claimed as he used the remote to scroll through the DVD menu. “We have everything we need for a marathon! You’re going to love it.” 

"I still don't understand" Castiel said with a frown. "I thought marathons meant running a long distance? However, you said we wouldn't be running, but you still made me put on sweatpants and this big t-shirt."

"They're for comfort, Cas" Dean explained. "It's going to take us all night!"

"But Dean, you need to sleep" Castiel fretted. 

"Don't worry about it. I used to stay up all the time to guard Sammy when dad left us for the night."

"Well, you aren't as young as you were back then, Dean."

The hunter rolled his eyes. "Jeez, thanks Cas. You're the one who is like...a bazillion years old."

"Yes, but I'm an angel" Castiel reminded him. "I don't require rest."

"Sometimes I beg to differ" Dean retorted. "This is why we’re doing this. I told Sammy not to disturb us unless people are dying; and we how long that lasts where we’re concerned. So let's do this whilst we can!"

Castiel knew that Dean had been looking forward to doing this with him for a while now. The Angel was happy to oblige though; he was interested to see what the fuss was about, but it was also rare he got to spend some downtime with his friend, and Castiel thought that was sad. So, he had agreed to watch hours of Doctor Sexy with Dean.  
“Okay” Castiel said with a small smile. “Play the first episode.”

\--------------------

Castiel found himself becoming surprisingly hooked to the strange programme. At first he asked a lot of questions, but Dean would just shush him gently and say things would be explained. Castiel was happy that they usually were. 

The angel even ate a few of the snacks despite the fact they didn’t taste of much to him. Dean had said it was all part of the experience, and Castiel had wanted to do things properly.

He was munching on a handful of pretzels and so completely engrossed in an intense fight scene that he almost missed the slight thump against his shoulder. 

Castiel looked around and saw that Dean had indeed fallen asleep, head slumped against Castiel and snoring lightly. 

The angel considered moving him, but he looked peaceful, and all Dean had done lately was worry about Castiel and Sam rather than himself. So instead, Castiel turned the volume down on the TV and pulled the bedsheets up to cover Dean. He sat back and accepted he’d probably spend the rest of the night in that position.


	87. Stuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! I hope you are all well. I have one Essay to go and then I’m free! This rule sprouted from a suggestion by CompanionOfTen. As always, thank you so much for reading and leaving your views. Enjoy :) xx

**87\. Do not climb trees if there is a chance you can’t get back down. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam groaned into the pillow when his phone started buzzing on the nightstand. He managed to knock the lamp over and a glass of water onto the floor before he located the damn thing and picked it up. He squinted at the screen and sighed when he saw the caller ID.

“Cas, it’s four in the morning” Sam complained as he sat up and rubbed his eyes sluggishly. 

“I know and I apologise but I, uh…seem to have got myself caught in a situation.”

Sam immediately became more alert. “What is it? Are you in danger?”

“Erm…quite possibly.”

“Enough with the vagueness, Cas” Sam said as he jumped out of bed and grabbed his gun. “Where are you?”

“Outside in my garden. Hang on. Maybe I can…ah!”

“Cas!?”

Sam heard a thud and then the line went dead. Worried, the hunter quickly put on a jacket and pulled on some boots before running through the bunker and heading outside.

He made the quick climb up to Cas’ garden and concern gripped him tighter when he couldn’t see his friend anywhere. However, when he saw the shattered phone on the ground Sam feared the worst.

“Cas!?” he called out desperately.

“Up here!”

Sam looked with wide eyes and saw Castiel sat on a tree branch with one of his cats tucked under his arm. The hunter frowned and lowered is gun.

“Cas? What the hell is going on!?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I was going to go for a walk but then I heard Butter crying because he was stuck in this tree. I climbed up to get him but…I, uh, seem to be in the same predicament now.”

Sam’s mouth hung open slightly and his face scrunched as he looked up at Castiel incredulously.

“I thought you were hurt!” he yelled, as he only just started to calm down.

“There’s still time” Castiel argued as he clung tightly onto the tree trunk. Butter seemed to have got bored of the situation and was curled up snoozing against Castiel’s side. 

“Relax, I’ll go find a ladder or something” Sam said. “How long have you been up there?”

“Um…about an hour.”

“Why’d you wait so long to call for help?”

“I was embarrassed!” Castiel confessed. “I used to be an angel of the lord, and now I’m stuck in a tree. I know Dean would just laugh at me.”

“When I was eleven I got stuck in a tree and he told me to jump and he’d catch me. Dad wasn’t impressed when he found out we were both in the emergency room.”

“That’s a fascinating story Sam but would you please hurry with the ladder? I don’t think I much like heights now I don’t have wings to stop me from falling.”

“Yeah sure, sorry, I’ll be right back.”

Castiel watched as Sam ran back to the bunker. He sighed and looked down at Butter. 

“You’re lucky I find you adorable.”

Butter licked his hand affectionately.


	88. Attack On Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely ducklings! Sorry it’s been a week, but I was rushing to get assignments done before the holidays. Luckily I’m done now, so hopefully I’ll be able to give regular updates! This prompt came from Tris PhantomEvans. I really enjoyed this idea; I am a big AoT fan ;) I hope you enjoy! Xx

**88\. Do not use angelic powers to re-enact Attack on Titan. There will be collateral damage and potential harm to other people. To summarise: Dean, you are not Eren Jeager! (Sam Winchester)**

Dean stood on the rooftop surveying the town below. The wind swept through his long green cape causing it to billow out behind him. He kept his hands ready on the hilts of the two blades which were strapped to his sides. 

The sound of distant screams suddenly caught his attention. Dean whipped around and saw the giant dust cloud which was heading towards it. This was it. 

“Titan!” he bellowed in warning.

He pulled out the blades and fired the grappling hooks from his manoeuvre gear. He was soon flying through the air and ready to fight. 

\--------------------  
 **Meanwhile…**

Sam walked into the main room of the bunker to a very confusing sight. Dean was stood on the table with the blanket from his bed tied around his neck. He had two swords poised by his sides, and was looking off into the distance like he was searching for something. 

What was stranger still was Castiel. The angel’s eyes were glowing slightly as he focused on Dean, and he moved his hands around slowly like he was conducting an invisible orchestra. 

“What’s going on?” Sam asked.

“Hush” Castiel replied. “I need to focus. I’ve never tried this level of mind manipulation before.” 

Sam frowned as he noted the angel’s speech sounded more robotic than usual. He didn’t like this one bit.

“What are you doing to him?”

“Dean is currently invested in an animated series which he thinks is, quote, awesome. He wanted to try and relive some elements for himself. He asked for my assistance, and I was interested to see how much I could extend my powers, so I agreed.”

Sam felt like he needed to sit down after that explanation. 

“Are you talking about that Attack on Titan thing he keeps mentioning?” he asked. Castiel nodded slowly. “Man, I always thought that was just some weird porn metaphor. What does Dean think he’s doing? Where does he think he is?”

“He believes he’s in the fictional world of the programme waiting for battle.”

Now Sam definitely didn’t like the sounds of that.

“Cas, are you sure this is safe? I mean, you’re not gunna turn his mind to mush?”

“It’s all fine” Castiel reassured him.

Sam was still hesitant though. “Well-”

“Titan!” Dean suddenly yelled, startling Sam. 

Before the younger Winchester could tell what was happening Dean was already jumping towards him with the swords raised.

“Cas!” Sam yelled for help. 

He ducked as Dean took a swing at him. The older Winchester knocked over a vase and left a long crack long the wall. 

“Ipamis” Castiel commanded.

Dean stumbled back and blinked a few times as he came back to reality. He turned to Castiel with a wide grin.

“Dude, that was awesome!”

“For you maybe!” Sam said angrily from where he was still crouched on the ground.

Dean looked down at him with a frown.

“What’s your beef?”

Sam just scoffed with disbelief and fought the urge to say something he would regret.


	89. In A Flash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Another update to say sorry for making you wait a while for the last one. Today’s rule is from a Guest reviewer. Thank you sooo much to everyone who is continuing to show love for this story! I hope you enjoy this next rule :) xx

**89\. Do not press random flashing buttons! (Dean Winchester)**

When Sam walked into the control room one morning looking for Dean he at first thought the consistent beeping noise he was hearing was just a ringing in his ear. He rubbed his earhole vigorously for a few moments, but the beeping didn’t stop.

It was then that he noticed the red flashing light coming from one of the control panels. Sam frowned with wonder as he walked over to it. There was no label telling him what the button was for, but he knew that the sound was going to get irritating if he didn’t do something to stop it; it was already getting louder. 

Sam cautiously reached his finger forward and pushed the button. He flinched and waited for something to happen, but let out a relieved sigh when the flashing and beeping just stopped. He turned to leave. 

A loud siren suddenly started to blast through the room. Sam whipped around and saw that several new buttons were flashing blue, green, and orange. 

“What? What do you want!?” Sam yelled at the panel when the siren started getting louder. He started frantically pressing the random buttons but it seemed to have no effect. “Stop!” he begged, pulling levers and slamming his palms harshly against the panel. 

He almost didn’t hear when Dean and Castiel burst into the room.

“What the hell is going on?!” Dean yelled above the commotion.

“I don’t know!” Sam replied. “All I did was press on damn tiny button!”

“Why would you do that?!” Dean asked incredulously. “We don’t know what this stuff does!”

“It’s not like I started another apocalypse!” 

“You might have with all this uproar! Dammit, Sam, I haven’t had to tell you not to touch something since you were five!”

“Can you please save the whole big-brother-knows-best speech until later!? We’re gunna go deaf if we don’t turn off this alarm!”

“Stand back!” Castiel suddenly commanded.

He made sure Sam and Dean were a safe distance behind him before he placed both his palms on the centre control board. 

There was a flash of light and a loud bang. 

The alarm stopped, but Castiel was also flung across the room, hitting the ground – and the back of his head – hard.

“Cas!” Dean called anxiously as he dashed to his friend’s side. Castiel let out a groan and pushed himself up. “You alright?” Dean asked eyes quickly scanning for possible injury, forgetting that Cas was self-healing.

“Yeah, I’m fine” the angel assured him. “Don’t worry.” 

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“I caused the whole system to short circuit.”

“So, you made it explode?” Dean offered.

“Yes” Castiel said as he rubbed the back of his head.

“I’m gunna call Charlie. She’ll know how to fix it up” Sam said.

“And I’m going to write on the wall” Dean said with a stern glare at his brother as he helped Castiel stand up again.

“Fair enough” Sam winced with embarrassment as looked at the boggled angel.

“Please do” Castiel urged Dean too.


	90. 'Baby' Needs A Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello my beauties! I hope those who celebrate are ready for Christmas ^_^ Today’s rule is from the lovely ArtistKurai. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and everything in between. I hope you like this one. Ten more until 100! Xx

**90\. Music can only be blasted from 8 AM through 11 PM. Hours in between, music must be played softly. (Baby and Sam Winchester)**

Sam was rudely awakened when a loud drum started to pound into his ears. He startled upright - which caused his hair to fan out across his face - and let out an indignant yelp.

"Rise and shine, Sammy!" Dean grinned, tapping his hands against the steering wheel in time to the music. 

"I told you not to say that anymore" Sam grunted.

"Right. PTSD trigger" Dean remembered. 

"You don't know the half of it." Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket and his eyes burned slightly as he looked at the bright screen. "Dean, its four thirty in the morning. Why the hell are you playing your music so loud?"

"Keeps me awake" Dean said as he took a sip of some water. "I've decided that tonight you have to suffer with me. I'm tired too ya know."

"If you would just let me drive-" Castiel suddenly spoke up from the backseat. Sam had almost forgotten his was there.

"You know you're not allowed to" Dean said sternly.

"But there is no point pushing yourself to exhaustion when I could drive all night without rest!" Castiel argued.

"Just relax, okay? We've got less than an hour until we get back to the bunker anyway" Dean said.

Castiel just folded his arms across his chest and glared out of the window. He'd already sucked once that night about being forced to sit in the back again.

"Dean, would you please turn the music down" Sam grimaced as he placed his hands over his ears. 

"No way. Remember, driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole."

"I could have flown us home" Castiel mumbled.

"You used up a lot of mojo taking down those wendigoes" Dean reminded him. "And you couldn't have transported the car. There's no way I would have left my baby behind."

"I wonder what baby would have to say about being treated this way" Sam mused as he propped his chin in his hand and looked out of the window. 

"What do you mean by that?" Dean asked defensively. "And you don't call her Baby."

Sam gave an amused huff. "I mean the fact you seem to think she's a mobile jukebox rather than a car. Give her a break." _Give me one._

"I treat her just fine!" Dean said, clearly affronted. 

"Whatever. I want to sleep" Sam pouted.

"Tough."

Sam then took on a similar sulking position to Cas.

"I'm writing a rule about this when we get back."

"You can't, they're only for the bunker" Dean argued.

"You make rules about what me and Sam aren't allowed to do with the car all the time" Castiel piped up. 

"Hey, if you're gunna take his side then why don't you just fly the rest of the way?!" 

"I want to make sure you don't kill yourself!"

Sam sighed and leaned his head against the window as his brother and the Angel started bickering. 

He wasn't getting any more sleep.


	91. Christmas Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! Merry Christmas Eve ^_^ Today is just a rule I came up with because I just wanted something to fit in with the holidays. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have an awesome day tomorrow! Enjoy :) xx

**91\. Do not try to put Cas on top of the Christmas tree. (Dean Winchester)**

When Castiel went down to the main hall of the bunker on Christmas Eve to find it decorated with various trinkets (Dean had already tried to put them up once in July just to ‘stick it to God’) and a tree in the corner covered in toys and lights he smiled widely. 

It was his first real Christmas on earth and he was excited to be spending it with Sam, Dean, and Charlie. He’d even got gifts for them; Charlie had helped him pick out a new plaid shirt each for Sam and Dean because it was the only thing he was sure they’d like, and Sam had helped him choose some gadget thing for Charlie that Castiel didn’t really understand. 

Sam was arranging some tinsel on the tree when he realised Castiel's presence - he smiled at the way the angel seemed to be in awe of everything.

"What do you think?" The younger Winchester asked as he went to stand beside his friend and admire his work.

"It looks wonderful, Sam" Castiel praised.

"Thanks! But I think it's still missing something" the younger Winchester said as he studied the tree with a thoughtful pose.

"Something to place on the top, perhaps?" Castiel suggested.

"Yeah..." Sam mused, and then a smirk crossed his face as he turned to look at his friend.

Castiel gave him a dubious frown. "What?"

\--------------------

When Dean returned to the bunker later in the day with the shopping he briefly glanced over at the tree and saw Cas floating above it but then carried on walking throwing a "hey, Cas" over his shoulder.

"Hello, Dean."

It was only then that Dean froze and frowned to himself before backing up.

"Uh, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean."

"What you doing up there, buddy?"

"Sam explained how it's traditional to have a small angel at the top of the tree, but since we don't have a fake one he asked if I would be a temporary substitute."

"Uh...Huh..." Dean replied slowly, his nose scrunched up and his mouth slightly agape. "What's with the wings?" He asked, staring at the rather crudely cut cardboard interpretations. 

"Oh, Sam made them for me" Castiel explained as he looked at them in turn. "I didn't want my own wings to be visible."

"How come?" Dean asked curiously.

"Dean!" Castiel exclaimed with shock. "That is a very personal question!"

"Oh, sorry" Dean replied a little sheepishly. "You know you don't really have to stay up there, right? Sam's just messing with you."

"But he said he would get me the book on bees I wanted for my gift if I stayed."

Dean sighed at his friend's naivety but he also couldn't help smiling. "Well, even if you come down I'll get you it anyway."

"Alright" Castiel shrugged. He floated down until his feet were firmly on the floor again. "It was becoming quite tedious."

"I bet" Dean replied. "Don't worry, bud, I'll sort this out for you" he promised as he headed to the wall.


	92. Dean Does Not Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope everyone who celebrates had a wonderful Christmas :) There are a few awesome rules coming up from SmoshPhanGrrl and here is the first. Thank you so much to everyone who is still reading and reviewing, and to the newcomers; It all means so much to me. I hope you enjoy! Xx

**92\. Do not break down doors without good enough proof that such an action is necessary (Dean Winchester)**

Castiel was sat on the floor watching his goldfish swim in their bowl when he heard Dean scream. 

The angel’s head whipped around. He was sure he’d never heard something so vocally feminine come from the hunter before – Dean must be in trouble.

Castiel immediately switched into defence mode. He scrambled to his feet and grabbed his angel blade from the nightstand before tearing off down the hall.

The scream sounded like it had come from Dean’s room. 

Castiel skidded to a halt in front of the door and tried the handle; it was locked. He threw his hand up and his eyes glowed as a brilliant bright light began to emit from his palm.

He used the light as a beam of energy and blasted the door open; in fact it flew off its hinges. 

Dean was sat on the bed and let out another indignant yelp at the sudden intrusion, whilst instinctively throwing the pillow he had been clutching to his chest at his potential attacker.

“Dean!” Castiel called as he jumped into the room with is blade raised.

“Cas!?” Dean called back incredulously. “What the hell are you doing!?” 

Castiel frowned as he looked around the room. He couldn’t see any potential threat. He scratched his head in confusion and put his blade away. 

“I heard you scream. I thought you were in trouble?”

Dean gave a petulant scoff and folded his arms firmly across his chest in an attempt to gain back some dignity and composure.

“I did not _scream_.”

“Yes you did…” Castiel argued. “Like a small child…a female one.”

He watched as Dean’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, but the hunter continued to sound outraged and acting like he didn’t know what Cas was talking about.

“No I did not! I mean…If anything I have a…manly intonation to express when I’m in great distress.”

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes. He was growing weary of whatever this game – even though he was pretty sure he was winning. 

“What were you screaming at?!” he demanded to know. 

“For the last time I wasn’t _screaming_!” Dean retaliated. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself but ended up with a pout as he switched from being angry to sulking. “I’m watching a horror movie and it might have caught me off guard.”

“ _Might_ have? I thought you were being tortured!” Castiel exclaimed. He looked at the TV screen. “Honestly, you’ve come across an incomprehensible amount of terrifying creatures, you’ve been in _hell_ , and this is what frightens you…”

“Whatever. I’ll make you watch it and then you’ll understand” Dean insisted. “And, Cas, you’ve gotta stop breaking down doors whenever you think Sam or I are in trouble. Less collateral damage. Less _awkwardness_.” 

“Well for future reference what other possible reasons are there for why someone might be screaming behind a locked door?” 

Dean opened his mouth to respond but instead just snapped it shut and shook his head. 

“What?” Castiel asked.


	93. The Bunker And The Bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies! Ironically, as it was suggested at the end of yesterday’s story, Cas is about to learn exactly why else you might hear someone screaming behind a closed door. I’m putting out a cringe warning for this one so proceed with caution. Thank you to Hanna for the hilarious idea. Enjoy ;) xx

**93\. Do not bring random girls back to the bunker and then have loud…intercourse (I can’t even write it in front of Cas!) with them. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam woke up to a series of faint grunts and moans echoing down the hall - he was sure that the deeper tone belonged to Dean. This was followed by the bouncing of bedsprings.

Sam eyes widened as it didn’t take him long to realise what was going on. 

Another more disturbing thought came to the younger Winchester as he sat up. If Dean was…fornicating, and there were few people who knew the bunker existed, there was a very good chance that his partner might be…a certain angel. 

Sam gripped the sides of his head and shook it wildly trying to force the thought from his mind. 

He jumped when there was a knock on the door, but he couldn’t find his voice to answer. It didn’t matter though as Castiel slipped into the room and shut the door behind him. 

“Cas!” Sam exclaimed. He scrambled off the bed and wrapped the angel up in a bone crushing hug. Castiel could barely breathe. Sam spoke breathlessly. “I know this sounds selfish because you’ve died and come back a few times but this is without a doubt the happiest I’ve ever been to see you.”

“That’s nice” Castiel replied. “But, Sam, you’re uh, hurting me.” 

“Right. Sorry” Sam said as he released the angel.

“What are Dean and that woman doing?” Castiel asked naively. “They’re being very loud.”

“Woman?” Sam said.

His queries were answered when they heard a female voice give a throaty call of ‘Oh God.’ 

“I better go and see if they’re alright” Castiel said.

“Cas, no!” Sam said firmly as he grabbed the angel’s sleeve and dragged him away from the door. 

“But she’s calling for my father! She needs help” Castiel argued. 

“She does if she left a bar with Dean, but not at this moment in time” Sam explained. “They’re…you know…gettin’ busy.” 

Castiel squinted from lack of understanding. “Busy doing what?”

“Oh my god” Sam groaned as he rubbed his hands down his face. “I can’t believe I have to explain this about my big brother to an angel of the lord” he mumbled to himself. “Sex, Cas. Dean and that woman are having sex!”

“Oh…” was Castiel’s response. “Does he need my angel blade for protection?”

Sam smacked a hand to his forehead.

“No, Cas.” He sighed heavily and put his hands on his hips. “I can’t believe he’s done this. I told him he can’t bring random girls back here! It’s supposed to be secret. And now I can’t sleep…ever again.” 

“Should I…tell them to proceed quietly?”

“No offence Cas but I need you stop talking now because you’re just making things worse.”

“Oh, okay.”

Sam covered his ears when the noises suddenly got louder.

“That’s it we are out of here.” He grabbed a jacket and Castiel’s hand before quickly running out down the hall.

“Where are we going?” Castiel asked.

“To a bar to drink a lot.” 

“But…you’re in your pyjamas.”

“I don’t care!”


	94. Beware Of Banishing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year my Darlings! I hope it’s been good so far. We are back to the lovely SmoshPhanGrrl for today’s rule. Throwing you a bit of an angsty curveball again, like to keep you on your toes ;) Thank you for continuing to reading/comment. I still appreciate it a lot! Enjoy :) xx
> 
> Spoilers from 11x06

**94\. Do not use angel banishing sigils on me. (Castiel)**

“Dean, Sam asked me to tell you that dinner is ready.”

The hunter continued to sit and read a magazine on his bed. 

Castiel sighed despairingly. 

“Exactly how long do you intend to keep up this ridiculous silent treatment?” 

“Until you can justify letting Metatron go” Dean replied. 

Castiel scowled at him. “I already gave you a reason” he said sternly. “And you just spoke to me.”

Dean rolled his eyes and made point of tossing the magazine onto the nightstand. 

“Well that’s just typical Cas. Just trying help but somehow managing to screw it up _every time_!”

When Castiel looked hurt Dean almost took it back, but then the angel’s eyes narrowed as he tried to stare the hunter down.

“I may be naïve sometimes but I am very aware of hypocrisy. You have the audacity to be angry at me about Metatron when you didn’t stop Amara!”

Dean looked at Castiel incredulously as he got up to approach him.

“She’s _the darkness_! Metatron is human and you still couldn’t handle him!” 

Dean noticed the angel actually flinch when he raised his voice. Castiel could only remember what happened the last time they had argued. 

“I know something is going on with you and Amara” he claimed. “You’re lying to me and Sam _again_. When will you learn to trust us?”

He was surprised when Dean didn’t bite back. Instead the hunter just stepped to the side. 

“I think you need a time out.”

Castiel watched tensely as the hunter raised his arm. The angel’s eyes widened when he saw the banishing sigil on the wall. 

“Dean, wait-”

There was a bright flash and Castiel was gone. Dean gasped and looked around. 

“No, no, no!” He’d just wanted to rattle Cas; he didn’t mean to actually touch it! 

Dean ran over to his drawers and pulled out a book. He knelt in the middle of the floor and frantically flicked through the pages. There had to be a way to get Cas back.

“Guys? What’s taking so long?” Sam called as he approached. He frowned when he saw Dean. “What are you doing?”

“I-I sent Cas away” he stuttered.

“What?” Sam asked.

His brother shakily pointed at the wall. Sam looked around and his eyes widened.

“Please tell me you didn’t send him to _heaven_?”

“I don’t know!” Dean exclaimed as he threw his arms up despairingly. “We were fighting, and I was pissed, and I know I took it too far-”

A thud suddenly came from down the hall. The brothers looked at each for a moment before Dean scrambled to his feet and darted passed Sam.

When he got to the room he found Cas leaning against the table looking a little bewildered.

“Cas!”

“You drew it wrong. I only ended up in the Sahara Desert you-”

The angel was cut off when Dean threw his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Just don’t try to do it again” Castiel choked.


	95. The Family That Showers Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cool beans! How are you today? This prompt came from LeeMarieJack. Such a hilarious Idea and great fun to write ;) Thank you for reading and reviewing! Enjoy xx

**95\. Do not get in the shower with other people! (Dean Winchester)**

Dean hummed lowly to himself as he massaged the shampoo through his hair. He enjoyed nothing more than his morning shower.

Due to the pounding downpour of the water he didn’t hear the flutter of wings behind him. It wasn’t until Dean turned to wash the back of his hair that he came face-to-face with a very serious – and very naked – Castiel.

“Hello, Dean.”

The hunter’s eyes widened and he let out a horrified yelp. In an attempt to desperately cover himself Dean stumbled backwards and fell out of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with him.

“Get the hell out of here! Now!” Dean yelled.

“Alright.”

When Dean untangled himself he was relieved to find Castiel had left. He was red in the face – a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

“What the hell’s going on?” Sam asked as he appeared at the doorway with a now clothed Castiel at his side.

Dean frantically made sure the curtain was wrapped around him so nothing was on display and pointed a finger at Castiel. 

“Ask him!”

“I just wanted to take a shower.”

“Why?! You don’t need to!”

“Well I found during my time as a human I quite liked them. They were relaxing.”

Dean took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. “Cas, it is not okay to try and shower with me.”

“What happened to the family who showers together-”

“Shut up, Sam!”

“Well I didn’t know that” Castiel retorted. “I heard you in the shower with that woman the morning after you had intercourse-”

“That is totally different!”

Castiel frowned. “Why?” 

“Because he was banging her” Sam but in. Dean looked at his brother incredulously and Castiel just appeared even more confused.

“Samuel!” Dean exclaimed sternly. 

Sam sighed. “I’m sorry but I just want my turn in the shower so this conversation needs to be wrapped up, okay?”

Dean’s jaw dropped a little and he shook his head– he couldn’t believe this was happening. 

“Cas, it’s not okay to just surprise people when they’re naked. It’s embarrassing, and inconsiderate, and inappropriate, and…rude!”

“Have you got something to be embarrassed about?” Sam teased.

“You are not helping!” Dean yelled at his brother.

“Well I don’t really understand why it’s embarrassing” Castiel asked. “We have the same anatomy. Well, this body isn’t technically mine…”

“Yeah, if anything now you’ve seen each other’s junk your bond will be stronger” Sam added.

“Get. Out.” 

“But I gotta take a leak” Sam pouted. 

“Doing that whilst I’m in the shower is not okay either! Now get out!”

Sam grabbed Castiel’s shoulder and ushered him down the hall. They heard the door slam behind them and Sam burst out laughing.

“Dude, I can’t believe you actually did it.”

“Can I have my winnings now?” Castiel asked. “I really want to buy that beehive.”

“Sure” Sam said as he pulled out his wallet. “Man, he’s going to be pissed for days.”

“He can’t stay mad at me” Castiel replied.


	96. An Unforeseen Phobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely ladies, laddies, both, or none! Another awesome suggestion today from SmoshPhanGrrl. Just going to put it out there, there is reference to masturbation in this one if that makes you uncomfortable XD Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing! Enjoy :) xx

**96\. Do not come into my room without knocking. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean had made sure that Sam was sound asleep and that Castiel was safely distracted playing with his cats. He smiled to himself triumphantly as he settled down in his bed and pulled out the latest issue of ‘Busty Asian Beauties’. 

He was deeply admiring a double page spread on bikinis when he heard a flap of wings and a lump appeared under the covers at the end of his bed. Startled and panicked, Dean let out a yelp and threw the magazine across the room as if he had been caught red-handed.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. 

“Cas?”

The lump didn’t move.

Dean rolled his eyes and clambered across the covers. He poked at the mound impatiently with his finger.

“Cas!”

“Ow.”

“Don’t be stupid. That didn’t hurt” Dean argued.

“Perhaps, but it’s annoying” came the muffled reply.

Dean sighed despairingly and bowed his head. “Just get out of there will ya?” 

The hunter fell back on his butt and waited for Castiel to scramble to an exit point. Once the angel popped out with fluffed hair and a bemused expression Dean couldn’t help but soften a little.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I went to give Peanut and Butter a bath but there was something in the bathtub that I did not like.”

Dean scoffed. “Oh man, I made it a rule for Sam to clean out his damn hair! I swear you could make a sweater with it all!”

“No, it’s not that” Castiel said. “There was a creature-”

Dean’s eyes widened with alarm. “Is there a poltergeist haunting our toilet?”

“No” Castiel whined, tiring of Dean’s interruptions. “It was of the…arachnid variety.”

Dean’s face fell stoic. “A spider?” he asked flatly. “You’re an angel of the lord. Your big brother is Satan. You’ve been to hell. And you’re cowering in my bed because of a spider?”

“To be fair Lucifer doesn’t have eight legs or eight eyes” Castiel mumbled in retort. “Besides, you have a fear of flying, and Sam is afraid of clowns. Why is this different?”

“Okay first of all being suspended thousands of feet in the air inside a tin can when the wings may break or the engine may give out at any moment is a totally rational fear” Dean said defensively. “And Sam is just… weird. But, I accept your point.” 

“Sam told me it was your fault he doesn’t like clowns” Castiel said. “Similarly, Gabriel used spiders to pull a number of pranks on me over the years.”

“That doesn’t surprise me” Dean replied. “I will go and remove the spider, but you can’t just barge in here without warning. I might be…doing something…private.” 

Castiel frowned. “Like what?”

“Let’s just say you’re lucky I have my boxers on and leave it at that” Dean said making a dismissive hand gesture. 

“Alright” Castiel agreed.

“Good” Dean nodded. “Finally something I can gank that can’t telekinetically glue me to a wall” he huffed as he headed out.


	97. Hot Stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! I have an exam tomorrow to revise for, so naturally I wrote you this story instead :3 Today’s rule was based on a prompts from olivesandowls2001. Thank you for reading and reviewing! So close to 100 now ^_^ xxx

**97\. Do not attempt to eat a ridiculous amount of chilli peppers all at once. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam knew something was amiss as soon as he heard the giggling from the kitchen. He sighed despairingly; it seemed that his brother and Castiel had gone on a post-hunt drinking session again. 

As a human Castiel’s tolerance for alcohol was exceedingly low and after coming across some of their previous antics Sam had warned Dean about being a bad influence. Naturally Dean had called him a ‘Grandma’ and told him to get lost.

When Sam entered the kitchen he found Dean and Castiel sat on opposite sides of the table. There was a line of various different chili peppers between them and a jar of pickles at the end.

“Sammy!” Dean slurred as he raised his latest beer to celebrate his brother’s arrival. “Man, I thought I was good but this dude here has a gut of steel” he said indicating to Castiel.

Sam frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought we’d have a little eating contest. The chilies get hotter as we go along. I gave up after like the second one. But Cas, he’s a beast, man.”

“Thank you” Castiel mumbled nodding his head in Dean’s direction and raising a small green pepper to him before popping it into his mouth. He chewed on it rather grotesquely as his buzzed state made it hard to get his jaw to co-ordinate. 

Sam winced. “Dude, you are so going to regret that.”

“If you eat this next one without running out of here with smoke coming out of your ears I will give you twenty bucks” Dean said. He held a yellow pepper up to Cas and twizzled the stalk around between his thumb and index finger.

“Alright.”

Castiel took the pepper and had a small tentative bite. Dean watched him with great anticipation. At first the former angel just squinted as he mused over the taste but then he clapped a hand to his mouth and his face started to turn red. 

Sam rolled his eyes and hurried over to fridge to pour Castiel a glass of milk. 

“Drink this” he ordered.

Castiel took the glass without hesitation and downed the whole thing, letting a trail slide down his chin. 

Dean was snickering to himself the whole time. “Awesome.” 

Sam shot his brother a look before turning back to Cas. “Feel better?”

The former angel nodded solemnly but slapped a hand to his mouth again when he started hiccupping. 

“I think I’m going to throw up” he complained as he got up and shuffled out of the room, his hiccups echoing down the hall.

“Hey, Sam, what would you give me if I ate this whole jar of pickles?” Dean asked as he pulled the jar closer and stroked its sides. 

Sam looked at his brother incredulously. “Nothing.”

“Done” Dean said, slamming his hand down on the table to signify the deal before going to battle with the jar lid.

Sam grimaced and made a sound of disgust before walking away.


	98. Big Brother's Booze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bambinos! I hope you’re all snuggled up inside in this cold winter XD Today’s rule is another from SmoshPhanGrrl. Some brotherly feels for you all, because I am a sucker for brotherly feels :3 I hope you like it! Xx

**98\. Do not steal my booze. Especially if you can’t handle it! (Dean Winchester)**

Dean and Castiel stumbled back into the bunker; the case had been a particularly rough one. Sam had insisted that he wanted to go too, but Dean had pulled out his ‘stern big brother voice’ and told him he needed to rest. Sam had been looking wiped out recently.

“I’m going to sleep” Castiel mumbled, barely lifting his feet as he shuffled off down the hall.

“Do you want a nightcap?” Dean asked.

Castiel made a low whining noise and kept on walking.

Dean chuckled to himself and headed down to the kitchen. After a hard case he liked to take the edge of with a snifter of whiskey from his secret stash. 

He knelt down in front of a small cupboard in the corner and patted around in the back. He frowned when he couldn’t feel anything and peered inside. There was no booze in sight. He was sure there had been a full bottle back there. Maybe just some porn instead then, but he should probably check on Sam first.

Dean headed up to his brother’s room and opened the door. What he found was the last thing he had expected.

Sam was curled up in a ball on his bed, cradling a half empty bottle of whisky, hair sprawled across his face, and mumbling words of inconsistency. 

“Oh, Sammy.” Dean went and sat on the bed and tucked the hair behind his younger brother’s ear. “What have I said about having a wild time without me?”

“Not too” Sam mumbled into the pillow. He was already suffering from a pounding headache. “I’m a big boy now though” he weakly protested.

“Yeah, but you’re always going to be my little brother” Dean reminded him. “Bitch.” 

“Jerk.”

Dean laughed softly. “I’ll forgive you stealing my booze this once because you needed to let loose, but you’re going to replace it. I’m not going to get any sleep tonight anyway.”

“Why?” Sam asked. 

“Because I have to stay up and watch you to make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit or something, dumbass.” Dean explained. He patted his brother’s shoulder sympathetically before standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

Sam thought Dean had been gone for hours, but really it had been about five minutes.

The older Winchester placed a bucket on the floor by his younger brother’s head and put a bottle of water and some painkillers on the bedside table. He then pulled the blanket from the bottom of the bed and threw it over Sam’s body. Finally, Dean brought a chair over from the corner of the room and sat by his brother’s side with his feet up on the bed.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a good brother.”

Dean scoffed. “I’m _the best_ brother.”

Sam made some noise that sounded like an agreement, but he was already drifting off into a deep sleep. 

Dean smiled warily to himself and turned to the TV onto a very low volume.

He was in this for the long haul.


	99. The Return of Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I hope you are all alright. I can’t believe the next rule will be 100! Thank you to my regular reviewers/readers who have stuck around – I really, really appreciate it – and thank you to the new comers. Welcome to the mad house! Today’s rule is a slightly tweaked one from LeeMarieJack . I hope it’s okay! Xx

**99\. Do not treat Gabe like a rodent and chase him around the bunker with a broom! (Gabriel)**

Sam and Dean had gone to bed, and Castiel was sat reading when a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around his shoulders. The angel jumped with surprise. 

“What’s going on, baby bro!?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Gabriel.”

The archangel snickered to himself and then placed a kiss on Castiel’s cheek with an exaggerated ‘mwah!’

Castiel looked grumpy as he wiped the back of his hand across his cheek whilst Gabriel took a seat opposite him, slouching back in the chair and putting his feet up on the table.

“What do you want, Gabriel?” Casitel asked drily.

The archangel didn’t reply straight away as he fashioned a lollipop out of thin air and sucked on it pensively for a few moments.

“There might have been a situation with a god I ran into in NYC that now requires me to lie low for a couple of hours.” 

Castiel sighed despairingly. “Of course.”

“Aww, I just knew you’d welcome me with open arms!” Gabriel said with fake enthusiasm. “Where are Sammich and Dean-Bean?” 

“They’re human and it’s two in the morning. They’re sleeping” Castiel replied. 

Gabriel scoffed. “Well that’s lame. I came all this way to see them!”

Before Castiel could say anything else the archangel disappeared. He wondered where Gabriel had got to, until he heard Sam scream from down the hall. 

“Oh my father” Castiel groaned as he rubbed his hands down his face.

Gabriel reappeared looking smug. Sam came running into the room looking like he wasn’t sure where he was or why he was there. 

“What are you doing here?!” He asked Gabriel. His pitch seemed to be slightly increased. 

“Visiting my favourite giraffe” Gabriel responded, blowing him a kiss.

“What the hell is going on!?” Dean’s voice boomed from down the hall. As soon as he saw Gabriel his expression grew lax. “I’m getting my gun” he said with a scowl before turning away again. 

“No, Dean!” Castiel called. “There’s no need for that. Right, Gabriel?” 

The archangel tried to look innocent as he raised his hands. “I promise I won’t cause any more trouble.”

“How can we believe you?” Sam asked.

Dean spotted a broom resting against the wall as Castiel had been sweeping that day. He grabbed it and started to charge at Gabriel. 

“Get out of here!” he said, waving the brush end at the archangel threateningly.

“Hey, stop that!” Gabriel whined as he tried to run away, Dean chasing after him. 

Sam and Castiel could only watch in shock at the ridiculousness’ of the situation.

“I am an all-powerful archangel! The Trickster God! You can’t treat me this way!”

“I can and I will!” Dean argued. “Scram!” 

“Fine!” Gabriel exclaimed as he came to a halt. “I know when I’m not wanted” he said, sticking his nose in the air indignantly.

The archangel disappeared. 

Dean and Sam traipsed off to bed like nothing had happened, too exhausted to comprehend it, and Castiel went back to reading.

They found the rule the next morning.


	100. Soft Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! Are you excited for Supernatural’s return tonight?? I certainly am ^_^ So, here we are! Finally reached the 100th rule! *trumpets play in distance* Thank you so much to all the readers who have been around since number 1, and to everyone else for joining in on the way. Don’t fret; we still have a lot to go (These poor boys won’t be able to do anything soon!) As ever, your reviews also mean the world to me :’) We are back with SmoshPhanGrrl today. Enjoy! x

**100\. Do not put Peanut and Butter in a box! (Castiel)**

Castiel had been looking for Peanut and Butter all morning. They weren’t roaming around the bunker or in his garden. The angel started to worry that they had run away. Crestfallen, Castiel was about to give up, until he heard muffled mewling coming from a cardboard box by the bookshelf.

He opened the box and gasped when both of his kittens looked up at him with wide and frightened eyes. 

“Who did this to you, little ones?” Castiel asked with outrage as he picked them up. They immediately nuzzled into him. The angel’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I exactly know who.”

He stormed to Dean’s room, gave the courtesy of knocking, but then kicked the door open without a reply. 

“How could you!?” 

Dean looked confused at first, but then he saw the two fuzz balls hiding in Cas’ sides. The hunter sighed.

“They’d peed all over the kitchen floor again! I just wanted to keep them out of the way so I could clean it up…I may have forgotten about them.”

Castiel frowned deeply. “You stuffed them in a box! That’s cruel!”

Dean looked affronted. “I put air holes in it, a blanket, and some food and water! What more do you want?!”

Castiel looked shocked. “I know you might not care about them, Dean, but I do, and I’m supposed to be your friend!”

The angel stormed away and Dean was left feeling surprisingly guilty. Castiel’s new grasp on emotions was a damning one. 

\--------------------

Later in the day Dean decided to go for a drive. Castiel wasn’t talking to him and the tension was grating. The hunter was too stubborn to apologise.

He was just unlocking the Impala when he heard a loud screech. He whipped around and saw two overly sized crows trying to bite Cas’ kittens, who were helplessly trying to swat the birds away with their tiny paws.

“Hey!” Dean bellowed. He ran at the birds. “Beat it, assholes!”

The crows cawed loudly and then took off. The kittens were making distressed noises so Dean picked them up and immediately started to check them over.

“Are you guys okay?” he cooed. Thankfully they didn’t appear to be injured. “Uncle Dean is sorry for what he did to you.” 

The kittens were evidently grateful as they snuggled into Dean’s chest and started purring. If the hunter had been caught smiling a little at that moment he would have denied it.

\--------------------

In the evening, Castiel was searching for his kittens once more. He was surprised and delighted – after barging into Dean’s room to accuse him of doing something horrible to them again – to find both Peanut and Butter curled up asleep on the hunter’s stomach. Dean was also in a deep slumber, and there was a whisper of a grin on his lips.  
Castiel smiled at the scene. 

“I’m still not happy about the box” he told oblivious ears.

Despite that, though, Castiel closed the door softly and allowed them to rest.


	101. Demons Don't Do Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello cinnamon rolls! How are you all today? Let’s get on with the next 100 shall we ;) Today’s rule comes via a request from Belofherdreams, who asked for a chapter with Crowley. I’ve never written about him before so I hope you like it! Thank you for commenting and reading :) xx

**101\. Even Demons have to obey the rules. (Dean Winchester)**

Crowley was a big fan of lists – the longer the better. He was also a big fan of inconveniencing the Winchester’s and their pet angel. So, when he came across the long list of rules written on the wall the demon simply couldn’t resist the opportunity to cause some minor mayhem.

After reading through them all he selected a few of his favourites and decided to get to work. 

He went into the bathroom. 

“Number thirty one” he said to himself with a grin. “Don’t mess with Moose’s hair products.”

He emptied the shampoo bottle down the sink and re-filled it with itching powder.

He then moved outside into Castiel’s garden. 

“Number seventy three. No Winchesters allowed. Nothing about kings of hell, though.”

The demon shoved his hands in his pockets and whistled innocently as he made a point of trampling Cas’ flowerbeds.

After he was satisfied he’d left the place in enough of a mess he went back inside the bunker and stood outside Dean’s door.

“Number ninety six. Do not go in Squirrel’s room without knocking.”

The demon went inside and stood over the hunter’s bed. Dean was fast asleep.

Crowley leaned in – his eyes black as he whispered threateningly into the older Winchester’s ear.

“Wakey, wakey.”

Dean’s eyes shot open and he gasped as his hunter’s instincts kicked in. He punched Crowley square in the nose and the demon stumbled back cursing.

“Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?!”

Dean shot up and grabbed Ruby’s knife from his bedside drawer.

“How the hell did you get in here?!” 

“Front door was open” Crowley replied with a sarcastic grin. “You hadn’t visited in a while and I was worried.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Well, just get out will ya?!”

“Fine” Crowley spat. “I have to say, though, that I admire your attempt to keep order around here. I found your set of rules…thorough.” 

“Well if you’d read them then you’d know one of them is about not breaking into my room” Dean growled.

“Yes, but you forget. I am a demon” Crowley said straightening his posture in an attempt to look more refined. “And I don’t to follow your stupid little human rules.”

“Well if you want to keep visiting then you’re going to have to learn to” Dean said seriously as he twisted the knife around in his hand. “Because we haven’t had any punishments yet, and it might be fun to have a test subject.”

Crowley scoffed. “I can’t believe this. You show no respect when you come to my home. Freeing souls and everything… And you expect me to show you courtesy in yours? Disgusting.”

“Your home is hell!” Dean pointed out incredulously. 

“Whatever” Crowley sighed. “No doubt you’ll need me again soon. G’night, Squirrel.” 

With that, he dissappeared.

Dean went to bed worrying what other trouble the demon had caused.

He found out the next morning when he walked in to find Cas mourning a crushed Petunia and Sam incessantly itching.


	102. It's The Thor That Counts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! How are you all doing? Today’s rule is from JeffersonianGirl2004. I was excited to include Kevin in a chapter! As I’ve said before this story isn’t set in a specific timeline/universe, so ask for whomever you’d like and I’ll make it happen :) Already got a few awesome cameos coming up for you ;) Thank you for reading and for the lovely comments! Xx

**102\. No tablet deciphering on movie night. (The Winchester Brothers)**

Kevin was muttering incoherently as he frantically jotted translations down from the tablet. 

Sam and Dean – who were watching from the hall - turned to each other and exchanged firm nods.

The brothers charged into the room. Their concerns were only further confirmed when Kevin didn’t even acknowledge them.

Dean jumped up and skidded across the table, grabbing the tablet. 

“Hey!” Kevin exclaimed. 

He stood up, but before he could even move Sam wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist and started to carry him away.

“Let me go!” Kevin yelled as he struggled against Sam. 

“No, it’s movie night” Dean said as he walked backwards in front of them. “You’ve been pushing yourself way too hard. We’re worried about you.”

“Yeah…” Sam said through gritted teeth as Kevin kicked his knee. “Just…relax.”

Kevin just kept fighting for a few moments, but then gave up with a sigh, his limbs drooping so it looked like Sam was just carrying a big doll. 

They went into Sam’s room where Castiel was already sat on the floor at the end of the bed. He was surrounded by numerous snacks and had already selected a movie on Netflix; _The Avengers_.

“Good job, Cas” Dean said as he picked up a beer.

Castiel looked up at them and saw how displeased Kevin was.

“I said I would just put you to sleep, but Dean insisted on attacking you.”

“It’s wasn’t _attacking_ -”

“Neither of those are favourable options!” Kevin interrupted. 

Sam deposited the younger man on the bed and pulled up a chair for himself. 

“Guys, this isn’t important right now!” Kevin argued. 

“Yes, it is” Dean said as he threw himself down on the other side of the bed. 

“You can’t make me relax” Kevin insisted. 

He jumped up and started to head for the door, but Castiel raised his hand without looking away from the screen and the door slammed shut. Kevin tried to pull at it, but it was hopeless. 

“Kevin, please just sit down” Sam said concernedly. 

“Yeah, just _chill_ ” Dean said. “I promise you can afford to have one night off. We’ll work on it all day tomorrow.” 

Kevin sighed. He was hungry, and he knew that the guys were just trying to help. He’d been so consumed with being a prophet lately he’d forgotten about being a regular human.

“Fine.”

He went and sat on the floor next to Castiel, grabbing a bag of pretzels. 

“Thor is nothing like this man” Castiel said as he shoved a handful of pork scratchings into his mouth. 

“How do you know?” Kevin asked.

“I met him when I was a fledgling” Castiel said with his mouthful. “Gabriel tried to get him to adopt me. Michael wasn’t pleased.”

“I lifted Mjolnir” Sam chimed in. “I could ditch your sorry asses right now to rule Asgard.” 

“Dude, you’re a bean sprout compared to that guy” Dean said, indicating to the screen.

Kevin laughed. 

Maybe a night off wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	103. Driving Dean Barking Mad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely ducklings! How have you been? I really want to try and get chapters out every day again because I have such a long list of requests and I feel really guilty for making people wait so long, but it’s just so hard with having Uni work to do too. I will try my best though I promise! Thank you for bearing with me, and for reading and commenting. Today’s chapter is courtesy of LeeMarieJack. You were right. Sam should get another dog ;) Enjoy! X

**103\. Just to reconfirm. NO DOGS IN THE CAR. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean knew that his little brother and Castiel were up to something as soon as he heard the frantic whispers. He was ready to be angry again about yet another plan they’d decided to exclude him from.

What he did not expect to find was them cooing over a grey scruffy looking dog. Dean was sure he’d never seen Castiel smiling so widely before as the mutt licked his face, and Sam seemed to be grooming its fur with the utmost care.

“What the hell is this?”

Sam looked up and gulped. He knew that his older brother was very livid as he appeared to be so calm.

“I would have thought you’d seen a dog before, Dean” Castiel replied, complete missing the hunter’s annoyance. “In fact, were you not a dog for a period of time?”

Dean looked down at the angel with thunderous eyes. Sam decided to interject before his brother could rip into Cas.

“Look, I just found him abandoned outside. It’s freezing…and he was so dirty…and he’s so skinny.”

The dog looked at Dean and whimpered. Dean growled quietly in return, a reflex left over from his time talking to animals. This was his turf.

“Can we keep him? Please?” Castiel begged. “We’ll take care of him .You know I will! I take good care of Peanut and Butter.”

“Right, because cats and dogs famously get on so well” Dean said sarcastically.

“That’s just for cartoons, Dean” Sam insisted. “You can’t keep citing them as fact."

“I can and I will!” Dean argued and then shook his head. “Not the point. I already have the two of you to compete with, with your own puppy eyes, never mind from an actual dog.”

“I don’t think he’ll be a bother” Sam insisted. “He’s pretty old. I think he’ll just walk around by himself and sleep a lot.”

“I always thought we were short a species” Castiel said quietly to himself.

“But he’ll get hair everywhere” Dean whined. 

“I’ll clean up after him” Sam offered. “So don’t get all prissy about it. I know you like a clean roost, mother hen.” 

Dean continued to look hesitant, but Sam could tell that they were slowly cracking him. 

“His name is Barkimedes” Castiel suddenly said triumphantly. 

Sam and Dean shared a slightly bemused look.

“We’re still debating on a name…” Sam assured his brother. 

“Please, Dean?” Castiel asked again.

The angel and the younger Winchester looked up at Dean with matching wide-eyed and slightly pouty expressions. 

“Oh god dammit” Dean sighed as he ran a hand down his face. “Mmm….fine” he groaned. Sam and Castiel beamed at each other. “But just remember he’s not allowed in the car!”

“Yeah, sure, absolutely” Sam said eagerly. “I mean…I may have had him in the car to get him here. But that’s the last time I swear!”

Dean sighed deeply and rolled his eyes as he left. He was going to have to give Baby a deep cleanse now.


	104. Fanfiction Cliché

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you are all okay?? Today’s rule is from SmoshPhanGrrl. Be prepared for some sexual innuendo ;) And major Destiel implications are always fun. Thank you for continuing to read and comment. I hope you like it!

**104\. No reading Fanfiction. Not even for research purposes! (Dean Winchester)**

“Nu-uh. Nope. Absolutely not.”

“Dean, I’m struggling to not take offence from this anymore.”

“I’m sorry; Cas, but I don’t see why _we_ have to pretend to be the couple!”

“Because we think the attacks have something to do with this gay marriage counsellor” Sam said for what felt like the hundredth time. 

“Why does the prospect of pretending to be part of a couple with me bother you so much?” Castiel asked. He had seated himself at the table and was looking at something on Sam’s laptop.

“Well, because I’m not…you know” Dean said, shuffling awkwardly on the spot and folding his arms defensively across his chest.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You cannot be that insecure.”

“Well, you do it then!” Dean argued.

“Hey, you two are the ones who share the _profound bond_ ” Sam claimed with a smirk.

Dean’s eyes widened dangerously and Sam could tell that his brother was fuming, but the younger Winchester did like to push his luck sometimes.

“Look, I’ve seen enough movies and TV to tell you how this sort of thing usually ends” Dean stated.

“Ah, so that’s it” Sam said teasingly. “You’re worried you’ll actually fall in love with Cas.”

Dean opened his mouth to protest but found that he couldn’t quite form words. His cheeks flushed pink, and he compensated his lack of speech by making disbelieving scoffing noises.

“No way, man.” 

“That is rather absurd, Sam” Castiel said.

“Yes, exactly!” Dean said pointing at Castiel frantically.

“I do not possess the breasts nor the behind that Dean is usually attracted to” the angel said seriously.

“Hey! I am not that shallow…or _easy_ ” Dean retorted.

Sam looked contemplative. “Nah, you are pretty easy. I remember when you were twenty and you got off with that cougar just because she-”

“Dude!” Dean interrupted. “Not in front of celestial ears” he said, indicating to Cas.

“You don’t give a crap about that” Sam said.

“And we’re already way passed the part of me silently judging you” Castiel assured him.

“Alright, Mister Sass” Dean said defensively. “What are you looking at anyway?”

“Research. I’m reading some Destiel fanfiction to get advice on how we should act as a couple. People have some very strange expectations…For instance, they seem to like it when you put your genitals in my-”

Dean’s eyes widened in horror and Sam burst out laughing. The older Winchester leapt forward and slammed the laptop closed. Castiel looked up at him questioningly. 

“Hell. No.” Dean said sternly. “Rule eighty five, Cas. No mentioning of…you know what.”

“But, surely since I am a member of that couple-”

“No buts!” 

“Oh, I think that fanfiction had a lot to do with butts” Sam snickered.

“No, I am putting an end to this!” Dean affirmed. “And you will get a punishment!” he said to Cas.

“Yes, punishing me for being a _bad boy_ was a frequent trope” Castiel said.

Dean ran out of the room before he started screaming.


	105. Something Stinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! How are you all today? Today’s rule is from JeffersonianGirl2004. I really like getting other characters involved, and I really love Jody, so this was a good one! As ever, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and I hope you enjoy! Xx

**105\. Laundry must be done at least once a week. (Jody Mills)**

When Sam casually mentioned to Dean that he had invited Jody over to have a grand tour of the bunker in the evening the older Winchester had gone into a frenzy and cleaned as many rooms as possible. 

"He doesn't want anyone to bad mouth his nest" Sam had remarked with a smirk when Castiel had asked why Dean was suddenly so fussy.

When there was a knock on the door Sam went to answer it. 

Jody stood outside with a wide smile on her face. 

"Hey, Sam!" She said brightly as she enveloped him into a squeezing hug only a mother could give.

"Hi, Sheriff."

"Where's that brother of yours?" Jody asked as they headed down the stairs. 

"Probably making himself look pretty” Sam jibed.

Castiel suddenly appeared at the door carrying three large pizza boxes. "Sam, Dean told me to get you something with anchovies but I didn't like the way they smelled-" he trailed off when he noticed Jody. The Angel put the boxes down on the table and bowed slightly. "Hello, I'm Castiel."

"I know who you are" Jody said with a lopsided smile as she approached him. "Another grown ass man-child for me to mother." 

She hugged Castiel and he let out a slightly startled noise before embracing her back awkwardly.

"It's good to finally meet you, Cas" Jody said as she pulled away.

"It's nice to meet you too."

"Jody!" Dean called as he walked into the room.

"Oh, his Lordship has finally decided to grace us with his presence" she teased.

"Sorry, I was just sorting some stuff out" Dean said.

They went to hug each other but Jody pulled away with a disgusted grimace.

"Whoa, Dean! When was the last time you washed that shirt!?"

"Huh?" Dean replied looking gormless. 

"You smell like old beer and ground meat" Jody claimed.

Dean frowned like he didn't know what she was talking about. He tentatively pulled up the collar of his shirt and sniffed it.

"I don't smell anything."

"Um, Dean, my senses are much more perceptive than a human’s and I can confirm that she's right" Castiel said. 

"You've probably just become accustomed to the smell of take-out and despair" Sam jibed.

"Oh, c'mon” Dean scoffed, his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. "Y’all don't know what you're talking about."

"Dean, I can smell disease" Castiel said. "So I can certainly smell your armpits form across the room."

Dean somehow managed to grow redder as he slowly folded his arms and placed his hands under his armpits.

"Okay, so maybe I don't do my laundry as much as I should" he mumbled. “I’m too focused on the bunker.” 

"Looks like I'm going to have to use my mom voice again" Jody sighed. "That's just not good enough, young man!" 

Dean hung his head a little. 

"Point me to that rule room of yours" Jody said to Sam. "I gotta make a contribution of my own."


	106. Drinking Buddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Sorry it’s taken me a while, it’s been a busy week. Today is a slightly tweaked rule from SmoshPhanGrrl. I promise I will try harder for regular updates :’( Thank you so much for everyone for reading and reviewing, and for being so patient! Enjoy xx

**106\. Binge drinking with angels can only be a biweekly occurrence. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam knew that his brother had returned from his venture with Castiel extremely drunk as soon as the incessant drumming started on the bunker door.

He sighed with exasperation as he went to open it.

Dean had his arm thrown around Castiel’s shoulder, and the angel had his arm wrapped around the Winchester’s waist. Both of them were swaying dangerously.

“You too, Cas?” Sam said disapprovingly. “How did you even find enough alcohol to get an angel drunk?”

“That’s for us to know…and for you to never find out” Dean slurred.

“And exactly how did you get back here in this state?” Sam questioned. 

“Had to leave the car…my baby is all alone!” Dean sobbed.

Castiel shushed him and rubbed the side of the older Winchester’s head with a not so delicate hand.

“The coyotes will take care of her” he mumbled. “I flew us here” he said to Sam. “Might have taken…a few tries.”

“The first time we ended up in the rainforest” Dean giggled. “In the rainforest, Sammy!” 

“Great” Sam said with a sarcastic smile. “Let’s get you assholes to bed before you pass out right here, because I ain’t moving you if you do.”

“I got it!” Castiel announced loudly and with determination.

There was the sound of wings flapping and they both disappeared. 

Sam grumbled impatiently as he headed to Dean’s room, hoping that’s where Castiel was aiming for.

When he got there the room was empty, but he did here a crash from elsewhere in the bunker. Sam cursed under his breath and slapped a hand against his forehead.

Castiel and Dean did eventually appear, landing in a heap on the bed.

“Dude, I think you totally nailed the landing” Dean remarked. 

Castiel gave a groan of acknowledgment.

“Alright, let’s get this over with” Sam said as he went over to the bed and started to untangle them.

He managed to get the pair of them to sit up long enough to pull back the covers. He laid Dean down – who immediately curled up into a small a ball as possible – and then went to get another pillow for Castiel.

“I don’t sleep” Castiel insisted.

“Well, you can try” Sam insisted as he put the pillow down. “And I’m not risking you flying off again. So you can sleep here.”

“Fine” Castiel huffed and threw himself down dramatically.

Sam exhaled deeply and then set about pulling the covers around them both.

“You’re a good boy, Sammy” Dean muttered as he reached up and patted the side of his brother’s face. “You look after your big brother.” 

“We’ll I suppose he’s done a lot for me over the years” Sam conceded.

“He sounds awesome” Dean said. 

Sam gave a snort of amusement. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Assbutt” Castiel inputted.

“I’m going to have to put some restriction on these drinking sessions. I’ve put up with enough of your drunken escapades” Sam claimed. 

Luckily both his brother and Castiel were already asleep and could not protest.


	107. No Sympathy Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good day to you all my lovelies! My lecture and seminar got cancelled today (a Christmas miracle) so I could get some writing done. Today’s rule is from Catherine. Thank you for reading and reviewing :) xx

**107\. No drawing on my cast whilst I’m sleeping! (Sam Winchester)**

Sam had been sleeping the whole afternoon.

The younger Winchester had broken his arm during their latest hunt. Ironically - and embarrassingly on Sam's part - it hadn't been the ghost they were hunting which had caused the injury, but rather Sam tripping over the shovel and falling into the grave.

Dean had been openly amused until he realised his brother was clutching at his arm and his face was scrunched up in pain.

They'd driven to the hospital and the doctor had put Sam's arm in a cast.

"He just can't control these long gangly limbs of his" Dean had responded when the doctor asked what had happened.

The older Winchester was clearly finding amusement in the situation again now he knew Sam was going to be okay. Sam had shot him a glare as sharp as daggers, and Dean has shut his mouth after that.

When they returned to the bunker Dean had given Sam a glass of water - with some pain meds mixed in which his younger brother had been stubborn about taking - and then sent him to bed.

Dean had made Castiel stay behind in the shooting range. Now he was human, he needed some weapon practise. Usually Castiel would have complained about being left behind, but once he got to try out the different guns he actually found it quite exhilarating.

He headed back upstairs when he heard Sam and Dean moving around.

He had to search around for a while, but he finally found them in Sam's room. Castiel was alarmed when he saw the younger Winchester's arm.

"What happened?" He asked Dean.

The older Winchester didn't answer at first as he was concentrating on the movement of the marker he was using to draw something on Sam's cast.

The younger Winchester was laid on his back, with his hair sprawled over his face and mouth hanging up.

"The graceful giant managed to trip over his own feet" Dean finally responded.

"Will he be alright?" Castiel asked concernedly. He hated that he'd lost his healing powers.

"He'll be fine" Dean scoffed.

Castiel sighed with relief and walked over to see what Dean was drawing.

There were several crude sketches of Sam falling over unlikely objects, including a banana peel, a moose, and a sign that read 'Sam's dignity.'

"How...artistic" Castiel said as he titled his head a little. "May I add something?"

"Sure" Dean said as he handed the pen to Castiel and shuffled over.

"What are you writing?" Dean asked after a while.

"Just some inspirational bible quotes" Castiel responded.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You don't know a good chance for mockery when you see it."

"I am being humorous. These quotes are what you would call....complete bullshit."

Dean burst out laughing at the former angels endearing naivety.

This disturbed Sam and he woke up with a groan he looked at his cast.

"Hey! Thanks for being so sympathetic, Dean" he said sarcastically.

"You're welcome!" Dean beamed.


	108. Tattletale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! The latest episode was pretty amazing, right?? Today’s rule is from SmoshPhanGrrl. Thank you for continuing to read and review, they all mean a lot :) x

**108\. No zapping out of the bunker to get out of doing something. (Dean Winchester)**

Sam was walking passed the bathroom when he heard Castiel grumbling. He looked inside and saw the angel knelt in the bathtub, scrubbing it with a large brush.

Sam frowned. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Castiel snapped. He sighed and threw the brush down as Sam just looked startled. “I’m sorry. Dean is making me clean the bathroom as punishment for mentioning...the combination of our names.” The angel grimaced as he pulled off the rubber gloves he was wearing. “It’s not fair. I don’t even use the bathroom! And I still haven’t gotten around to cleaning…that” he said nodding towards the toilet with a grimace.

“Why don’t you just mojo it clean?” Sam asked.

“Because that’s ‘cheating’” Castiel said in an impressive imitation of Dean.

Sam scoffed and folded his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “Man, he’s got you whipped.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “Dean wouldn’t take my punishment that far would he!?”

“Well, if you go by what the fanfictions tell you…”

“Now you’ve mentioned it to!” Castiel exclaimed pointing a finger at Sam.

“What? No I didn’t!” Sam argued. “I made a vague statement.”

“Don’t try and lawyer yourself out of this” Castiel retorted. “It was very clear what you were referring to!”

“No, I-”

“Dean!” Castiel called.

Sam’s jaw dropped as he hurried into the room and shut the door.

“What are you doing, snitch!?”

“If I have to be punished in this disgusting way then you should too” Castiel hissed.

“Guys? What’s going on in there?” Dean’s voice suddenly appeared at the other side of the door.

“Sam mentioned Destiel!”

“No I did not!” 

“What!?” 

Dean opened the door and glared at his brother and the angel.

“Dean, come on, you know I wouldn’t betray you like that” Sam said putting on is best puppy eyes. “I’m your baby brother.”

“Nice try, asshat” Dean said as he placed his hands on his hips. “You don’t try to sweet talk me unless you know you’re guilty.”

“Dammit” Sam said under his breath.

“Both of you can finish cleaning in here and then you can mop all of the floors” Dean said sternly.

“All of them!?” Sam whined.

“That will take all day!” Castiel input.

“Well you better get started then” Dean jibed.

He pivoted and strode off down the hall.

“I can’t believe you told on me, what the hell!?” Sam yelled at Castiel. “And you’ve only made it worse for yourself! So, good job!”

“I’m sorry!” Castiel yelled back. “This is ridiculous. I am angel! I’m not staying here just to do a human’s dirty work. I’m going!”

“Where!?” Sam cried. 

“To consume alcohol! ...Do you want to come!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

“Why are we still shouting!?”

“I don’t know anymore!”

Castiel hopped out of the bathtub and placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder. They disappeared.

When Dean went to check on them later, he was disgruntled to find that they had vanished. 

“Those sons of bitches.”


	109. LARPing About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! How is everyone today? Thank you to a Guest reviewer for today’s prompt, it’s pretty crazy and fun XD Thank you for your amazing comments and for reading :) xx

**109\. Do not send Supernatural LARPers to the bunker. (The Winchester Brothers)**

The morning had been mundane so far as Sam, Castiel, and Dean were all sat quietly doing their own thing. 

There was suddenly a knock on the door. 

The three men shared dubious looks. Jody and Charlie always phoned ahead if they were coming, and Crowley was unlikely to show up of his own volition – besides, he would never knock.

Castiel flew up to the door and opened it cautiously.

His eyes widened in surprise when he found three teenagers – two boys and a girl - stood there. What was more disconcerting was that the two boys very much resembled Sam and Dean, and the girl looked very much like Castiel. 

The two boy’s jaws dropped and the girl clapped her hands excitedly.

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it!” she squealed. “You’re real! You’re actually here!”

“Where else would I be?” Castiel asked with a frown.

“Cas? Who is it!?” Dean called.

“Is that Sam and Dean down there?” the tall boy who looked Sam asked excitedly.

“Yes” Castiel replied.

“Can we please come in?” the girl begged.

“Of course” Castiel said as he stepped aside. He saw no danger in them. 

The teens piled in and stood at the railings as they looked down at the bunker in awe. 

Sam and Dean stared back up at them, equally as in shock. This seemed awfully familiar. 

“Oh no” Sam murmured.

“Not this again” Dean whined. “How did they even find us!?”

They shared a knowing glance.

“Charlie” they groaned in unison.

“I like your outfit” Castiel said as he observed the girl’s coat. It looked a lot like his old one.

“Thank you! You’re my favourite, Castiel.” 

“I am?” Castiel asked with surprise.

“Yes! You’re such a badass, but you’re also really sweet” she beamed. 

Castiel smiled back at her. “Oh…thank you.” 

The teens made their way down the stairs.

“Wow, Sam and Dean” the boy who was dressed as Dean breathed. “You guys are my heroes!” 

“Um…thanks” Sam said a little awkwardly.

“Look, guys, we’re…flattered, but you can’t be here. I don’t know what Charlie told you but it’s supposed to be secret.”

“Oh, we won’t tell anyone” the teen Sam said. “We promise!”

“Can we keep them?” Castiel asked.

“No!” Sam and Dean exclaimed.

“It’s okay, we have to get to the next check point soon anyway” the female Castiel said.

“Next checkpoint? You mean more of you will be coming here?” Sam asked.

“All day I expect” the teen Dean said.

“Dammit, Charlie” Dean hissed. 

Alternately, Castiel looked eager at the prospect.

“Hey!” Sam called when he caught the fake Dean trying to touch one of the swords.

“Would you get your boyfriend under control?” Dean asked the female Cas.

She scoffed. “I totally ship Destiel, but he’s not really my boyfriend.”

“He’s _my_ boyfriend” the teen Sam said, shaking his head disapprovingly at the fake Dean.

“Ship that too” the girl said. 

“But…brothers….” Dean stammered. 

“I’m calling Charlie” Sam said. “Right. Now.”


	110. Demon Decorating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dearests! I hope that you are all well. Today’s rule is from LeeMarieJack. I hope you like it! Thank you for reading and commenting :) xx

**110\. No demon interior decorators! (The Winchester Brothers)**

Sam and Dean were sat doing some research when they heard sudden movement coming from below them. 

“I swear to god if that damn dog is chasing those damn cats again…” Dean seethed as he stood up to go and investigate. 

“Barkimedes is outside” Sam said as he followed his brother.

“Still couldn’t come up with a better name, huh?”

“Cas just got really attached to it, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he has these really big blue eyes…” 

Dean shook his head with a sigh.

They tracked the noise to the dungeon. 

Dean cautiously pushed the door open and the brothers poked their heads inside. What they saw was the last thing that they had expected. 

“Crowley!?” 

“Hello boys” the demon greeted. 

He appeared to be holding some kind of checklist. There were three other demons in the room. One of them was holding a painting up to the wall and the other two were polishing a chair.

“What the hell is going on?!” Dean demanded as he and Sam stormed into the room.

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m moving in!” Crowley claimed. He smirked with amusement at the shocked expressions on the brother’s faces. “What? I’ll be fun! Just like one of those sitcoms you lowlifes are so fond of.”

“What are you talking about?!” Sam exclaimed. “Have you actually been driven out of hell?” 

“We’ve already got enough species living under this roof!” Dean added, too confused and alarmed to think of anything else to say.

“Oh relax, Squirrel, Moose” Crowley said. “I’m just being a tease.”

Sam took a deep breath to calm himself. “Then what are you doing?”

“Well, you boys call on me so often-”

“Capture you” Dean insisted.

“Whatever” Crowley said with a sarcastic smirk. “I have no doubt it will happen again. So, I just thought I’d make the place a little more homely. It really adds some character, don’t you think?”

Sam looked up at the paintings of various evil beings from history and victims being tortured.

“No” he replied bluntly. 

“This isn’t your holiday home, Crowley!” Dean exclaimed. 

“I know” the demon sighed. “I would appreciate a mint on my pillow…and a pillow.”

“Get this crap out of here!” Dean yelled. 

“Well, I was going to offer to do your rooms for free, but if you’re going to have that attitude-”

“If you don’t leave right now with all of this stuff then I will get Cas to come down here and blast your goons to pieces, and then we’ll trap you here right here, right now!” Sam threatened.

“Alright, fine!” Crowley said. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

The demon clicked his fingers and his followers obediently disappeared. 

“Well, it’s been a real pleasure as usual-”

“Go” Sam and Dean said.

Crowley rolled his eyes dramatically.

“See you in hell” he jibed before disappearing.

“What a dick” Dean grumbled.

“And he has terrible taste” Sam said.

Dean shot his brother a look. Sam just shrugged.


	111. Dean Interrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! So sorry for the lack of updates, it’s been a busy week. Thank you to Jess-Cast1800 for suggesting today’s rule. Thank you so much to everyone for your patience and comments. Enjoy! Xx

**111\. Give prior warning if you know that someone is coming over. (Dean Winchester)**

As much as Dean loved being out on the road with Sam and Castiel he did enjoy the rare occasions when he got some time to himself to do as he pleased.

Hence, when Sam and Castiel left to go shopping one morning, Dean immediately grabbed his speakers and went to take a long hot shower with no one reminding him that he needed to hurry up.

Afterwards, he stood unclothed in front of the mirror, music blaring, and singing loudly to himself as he combed through his hair.

"Hey, Dean!"'

The hunter nearly jumped when the voice suddenly appeared. He whipped around with wide and startled eyes.

"Charlie!?"

"Hey, lil' Dean" the redhead said, giving a small wave with an amused grin.

It was then that Dean remembered much to his horror that he was, in fact, naked.

The hunter scrambled to grab a towel and wrapped it around his waist. He switched the music off and turned back to Charlie, chest heaving from his panicked breath.

"That was quite the performance" Charlie claimed.

Dean gulped. "You saw that?" 

"I saw _everything_ " Charlie stressed. "It kinda reminded me why I'm definitely into girls."

Dean frowned; he wasn't sure if he should be insulted or not.

"What are you even doing here?" He asked.

"I told Castiel I was staying over this weekend. Did he not tell you?"

"Clearly not" Dean grumbled, cursing Castiel in his head.

"Well, don't sweat it, dude. It does nothing for me."

Dean scrunched his nose. "Really? Nothing?" 

"I'm not even impressed."

"Okay, that was definitely insulting."

"Don't take it so personally, bitch. You’re like my brother. Don't be gross."

"When did you get so calm about guys anyway? You freaked out about having to just flirt with that security guard.”

"Because I don't have to have sex with you!" Charlie argued. "Jeez."

"Oh...right" Dean said as he started to blush with embarrassment again. "How did you get in?" He asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

"Cas left me a key under the doormat."

Dean raised his eyebrow in questioning. "We have a doormat?"

"Yeah. It's says _it's good to bee home_ , and there's a picture of a bee on it. It's cute!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Of course it is" he said with a sigh. "Because it's Cas."

"Anyway, I just became instantly enchanted when I heard your sweet melodic tone" Charlie teased. "And it led me right here."

"Now you're just being a jerk" Dean pouted.

"Dude, in all seriousness, you've got a good voice."

"Oh" Dean said. He gave a slightly smug grin and puffed his chest out a little with pride. "Thank you."

“You’re welcome!” Charlie beamed. “Anyway, I’m going to go and unpack my stuff and let you put your dignity back together.”

She left before Dean could come up with a rebuttal.

The hunter sighed as he turned back to the mirror. 

He was going to have some strong words with Cas.


	112. Ain't Nothing But A Horn Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I hope you are all well. Today’s rule is another from the awesome LeeMarieJack. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you like it! XD

**112\. Dean may not touch Sam's computer under threat of losing his own special horn dog machine. (Charlie Bradbury)**

“Happy Birthday!” 

Dean was startled when Charlie put a box wrapped in glittery paper in front of him. 

“You know that it’s March, right?” the hunter asked.

“Yah” Charlie nodded as she took a seat opposite him.

“Yeah…my birthday is in January?”

Well, if you don’t want it…” Charlie leaned forward and grabbed the box.

“No!” Dean exclaimed as he quickly snatched the gift and held it against his chest. “I want the present” he pouted.

“Open it” Castiel’s voice suddenly appeared next to Dean.

The hunter almost fell from his chair.

“Jeez, Cas! Even when you don’t fly you still sneak up on people like the flu.”

“You’re comparing me to a virus?” Castiel said with a frown. “Well that’s just rude-”

“Speaking of viruses!” Charlie but in as she was growing impatient. “I’ve made sure that your present has none.”

Dean frowned with confusion. He tore the paper – causing glitter to fly everywhere, much to Castiel’s delight – and the box open. Inside was a laptop.

“Wow, thanks, Charlie” Dean said as he took the laptop out and studied it closely. “You didn’t get me this because you broke my other one, did you?”

“No!” Charlie said affronted. “This laptop is special.”

“How so?” Castiel asked inquisitively.

“Well, Sam told me how you use to steal his laptop to watch porn before he made that rule about it. So, in a usual twist I have blocked every site on this computer _but_ the porn ones. I call it _The Horn Dog Eight-Oh-Oh-Eight-Five_.”

“Really? Awesome” Dean said with a small smile.

“I had to organise something for you after finding that stack of magazines” Charlie claimed. 

“Will you be able to watch the pizza man?” Castiel asked. “I enjoy his exploits but watching the videos gives my vessel a b-”

“bad case of awkwardness!” Dean interrupted.

“Yes I suppose” Castiel said. “It’s very uncomfortable.”

“As is this conversation” Charlie said. “Anyway, just remember to use is wisely. With great power comes great responsibility.”

“Trust me, I will definitely be guarding this” Dean said.

“You might want to get a password on their quick” Charlie added. She raised a hand to shield the finger she was pointing at Castiel. “Keep it away from celestial fingers” she whispered.

“I can hear you” Castiel deadpanned.

“I know” Charlie beamed. “Oh, and Dean, I’m afraid that if you try to touch Sam’s laptop again this will be taken away from you.”

“Did he get you to add that part?” Dean asked.

“No, it’s just so that he owes me a favour that he doesn’t exactly know about” Charlie reasoned.

“Well then you’re some kind of a sneak too” Dean said with a lopsided smile. “I’ve taught you well.”

“Bitch, please” Charlie scoffed. “I’ve always been a badass.”

“You don’t touch this” Dean said to Castiel.

The angel looked him straight in the eyes.

“Bitch, please.”

Dean rolled his eyes and looked at Charlie.

“See what you’ve done now?”

The redhead simply smiled and shrugged.


	113. M Is For Meg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful bunnies! Is you all okay? Today’s prompt is from emanon907. As always thank you so much to everyone for reading and reviewing :) xx 
> 
> P.S. We are getting season 12! *squeeeee*

**113\. Castiel should not try to write poetry about Meg whilst drunk. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam walked into the library one evening to find Castiel sat at the table scribbling on a piece of paper. There was an empty bottle of scotch beside him, and he was mumbling incoherently. 

“What’s going on, Cas?” Sam asked.

Castiel jumped at the sudden intrusion and looked up with wide eyes.

“Oh, it’s you” he mumbled. “S…uh… the tall one.”

“Man, how drunk are you?” Sam inquired with an amused smirk.

“Liquor store” Castiel responded.

“Of course” Sam sighed. “What are you writing?”

“Do you read poetry?” Castiel asked.

“Not since I was at school” Sam confessed as he sat opposite Castiel at the table. “Why?”

“I’m writing something for Meg.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Meg!?”

“Yes, she took care of me in the hospital…and she took my virginity.”

Sam didn’t think he could be more shocked. “…What?” 

“We kissed, Sam” Castiel whined, clearly annoyed that he didn’t remember. “You were there!”

“Cas, you…you know that losing your virginity means more than kissing, right?”

Castiel looked mortified as his jaw dropped. “It does?!” Sam nodded slowly. “Aww!” Castiel groaned despairingly before resting his head on the table. “How could you possibly get even closer to someone!? As if touching mouths isn’t insanitary enough!”

“Cas! You don’t have to _have_ sex with people” Sam informed him. “If you don’t have sexual attraction towards anyone and you don’t like the thought of sex it probably means you’re asexual.”

Castiel gasped as he lifted his head. 

“That’s what bees are!” He exclaimed. “Am I a bee, Sam?”

“Sure, why not” Sam said throwing his arms up with exasperation. 

“Yes” Castiel whispered to himself triumphantly.

“Dude, it’s not a good idea to text your ex whilst you’re drunk. Let alone write poetry about them” Sam claimed.

Castiel frowned. “My ex what?”

“I…don’t actually know.”

“Can I read to you what I’ve written to you so far?”

“Sure. I could use a laugh” Sam replied. The insult seemed to go right over Castiel’s head.

The angel stood up, swaying a little, and then picked up his piece of paper. He cleared his throat before he started to read.

“Meg. M stands for monster of which I thought you once were-”

“Whoa!” Sam raised his hand. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“If you want to impress her, the first thing you don’t want to do is insult her.”

“Oh” Castiel mumbled as he plonked back into his chair.

“Tell you what. Why don’t we go upstairs and watch some TV and we’ll see how you feel about this in the morning?” Sam urged. “I don’t think your brain is at its best right now.”

“Okay” Castiel conceded. “I should give these back to Dean” he said picking up some other papers.

“What are they?”

“Love letters I found that he wrote to Lisa…I thought they’d inspire me.”

Sam’s eyes grew wide as he snatched the papers. A glefful smirk slowly spread across his lips. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with these _first_ …”


	114. This Takes The Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful darlings! How have you all been? The Easter holidays will be here soon so hopefully that will give me more time to update frequently. Today’s rule is from LeeMarieJack. Enjoy! X

**114\. Dean is no longer allowed to pick the entertainment for parties. (Sam Winchester)**

Sam was rudely awoken when his brother jumped on his bed and hovered over him on all fours.

“Rise and shine, Sammy!”

“Dude, what the hell?” Sam groaned as he tried to pull his pillow over his face. 

“It’s your birthday!” Dean reminded him. 

“I know” Sam grumbled. “Why are you so excited about it?”

“Because I’ve got you a super awesome gift” Dean replied smugly. “Plus when we were kids I had to suffer many early rises because it was your birthday, or my birthday, or Christmas-”

“Alright, point taken” Sam complained. “Now get off me, Jerk” he said trying to push his brother away.

“Bitch” Dean said as he rolled off the bed and landed stealthily on his feet. “C’mon, Cas is really excited. This is his first party!”

“Not much of a party” Sam murmured. “I don’t have any friends left to invite.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Would you stop being a downer? This is the first time the world hasn’t been in danger for weeks so we’re going to have some fun. And trust me it will be party when you see what I’ve got for you.”

The wink he gave did nothing to settle Sam’s unease.

Dean left and it took Sam a further 10 minutes to find the willpower to get out of his bed. He couldn’t be bothered to get changed – it was his birthday, and he’d do what he wanted.

He found his brother and Castiel in the main hall of the bunker. 

His eyes grew wide when he saw the size of the blue frosted cake in the middle of the table.

“Dude, there’s no way we can eat all that!?” Sam exclaimed to his brother.

“Don’t worry, Cas’ stomach is infinite” Dean said. 

“Happy Birthday, Sam!” Castiel beamed as he handed the younger Winchester a very neatly wrapped parcel.

“Thanks, Cas” Sam said with a smile as he ripped it open. 

There were three brightly coloured plaid shirts.

“Do you like them?” Castiel asked hopefully. “They came all the way from The Amazon.”

“I love them” Sam replied sincerely as he pulled his friend into a quick hug.

“Well, it’s time for my gift now” Dean said enthusiastically. “There is more to this huge cake then meets the eye.”

The top of said of said cake suddenly blew off and woman in a bikini stood up from inside it.

“Hey, there birthday boy” she winked at Sam. The younger Winchester’s jaw had dropped.

“What kind of flavour cake is this?” Castiel mused.

“Dean” Sam hissed as he pulled his brother away slightly. “What the hell?! I’ve told you about having strangers here…and I look gross!”

“It’s your birthday, Sam.” 

“C’mon, Sugar” the woman said as she climbed down and took Sam’s hand. “I’ll straighten you out.”

As she started to lead him away Sam looked back to Castiel to help, but the angel just looked confused.

This was not the morning that Sam had expected.


	115. Dean Can't Even

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful bunnies! I’m so sorry it’s been a week but I was away with my family. This rule is for VickyWinchester. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, and I hope you enjoy! Xx

**115\. No Tumblr when I am around! (Dean Winchester)**

Dean decided to go and check in on Castiel when he realised he hadn’t seen or even heard the angel moving all day.

He found Castiel lying on his bed, holding his phone above his head. 

“Hey, Cas, what are you up to?”

“I’ve joined a new social networking site called Tumblr” Castiel replied without looking away from his screen.

“And, uh, what exactly do you do on Tumblr?” Dean asked as he went to sit on the end of the bed.

“Scroll down and mostly reblog cute animal videos” Castiel replied almost robotically. “Oh my father, these dog photos. I can’t even.”

Dean frowned.

“You can’t even what?”

“Yes!” Castiel exclaimed, ignoring Dean’s confused questioning. “This.”

Dean’s expression suggested he was waiting for the angel to elaborate, but when he didn’t the hunter became irritated again.

“This? What is this?!” He exclaimed, using his arms to gesture wildly. “And what can’t you even?! That was not a complete sentence! You are not using complete sentences!”

“Dean, please” Castiel said. “There are some important posts that I need to signal boost…why does this not have more notes?”

Dean’s mouth started moving as he threw his arms up in frustration, but no words came out. 

“I like these photosets of bath bombs” Castiel continued to ramble more to himself than Dean. “They do very much resemble the galaxies. They’re my new aesthetic.”

Dean jumped up off the bed.

“Okay, enough! What the hell are you talking about!? Are you speaking in tongues!? Do I need to exorcize you!?”

“Dean! Stop trying to oppress me with your lack of understanding!” Castiel retorted, pulling away from his screen for the first time.

“How am I oppressing you!?” Dean retaliated, his voice having now gone up an octave.

“You are a human male and I am the minority species under this roof! Stop trying to tell me what to do!”

“I-I didn’t…” Dean stammered. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. “I told Sam was should have tried to take down the internet.”

“I think you’d really like it if you gave it a try” Castiel stated. “It’s full of pornography.”

“Really?” Dean asked with genuine interest as he took a step towards the bed, but then he stopped and shook his head. “No” he whispered. “I will not become like you.”

“Oh, I’ve got some more followers!” Castiel said happily. “That makes it….three hundred.”

Dean blinked feverishly. “Three hundred?”

“Yes, people seem to enjoy my bee theme. I’ll follow them back and then we can be internet best friends.”

“You don’t need internet best friends!” Dean argued. “I’m your best friend!” 

“You’re my beat IRL friend” Castiel explained.

“What does…you know what, I don’t even care” Dean said. “I’m leaving. You’re not allowed to go on this Tumblr when I’m around.” 

“Whatevs” Castiel replied without caring.

Dean left before he started ripping his own hair out.


	116. Food For Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that’s it’s been a while, guys; things have been pretty hectic. This rule comes from LeeMarieJack. Thank you so much to those who – despite the inconsistent updates – are still reading and reviewing. Enjoy! X

**116\. Do not insult the friendly officers of the law. (Jody Mills and Donna Hanscum)**

When he went to answer the door Sam was surprised to find the two chirpy officers of the law smiling back at him.

“Donna! Jody! What are you guys doing here?”

“Well, don’t sound too happy to see us” Jody said sarcastically.

“Your brother invited us for dinner!” Donna explained. 

“Dean must have just forgotten to mention it to me. Come in!”

“Gosh, what a nice place you’ve got here” Donna said as he looked around in awe.

“And it’s clean!” Jody said with surprise. “I was thinking I’d have to tell you boys to go and tidy your rooms.”

“Yeah…maybe don’t go near those” Sam replied seriously. “Take a seat and I’ll go and get drinks.” 

Sam headed down to the kitchen and found Dean munching on a bowl full of cereal.

“I hope that’s not what you’re serving tonight” Sam said as he went to the fridge to get some beers. 

Dean frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“Donna and Jody. They’re upstairs.”

Dean’s eyed widened as he gulped the cereal down. “Oh, crap! I forgot they were coming. I haven’t got any food!”

“Well then let’s get takeout” Sam suggested. 

“No! Then they’d know that I forgot and think that I don’t care... I’ve got it. We’ll get takeout.”

Sam looked incredulous. “I just-!”

“But Cas can sneak out and get it and then I’ll serve it like I just made it.”

“Whatever” Sam huffed. 

“Cas!” 

The angel appeared moments later.

“Yes, Dean?”

“I need you to fly to a Chinese takeout and get as much food as you” he said, handing the angel some cash. “Don’t let Donna and Jody know what you’re doing.”

“Okay.” 

The angel walked upstairs and saw the two officers sitting at the table chatting.

“Hey, Cas!” Jody called. 

“Hello” Castiel replied stiffly. “I’m sorry I can’t stop right now, Dean… has…gas and I need to go and get something for that.” 

He walked quickly but rigidly up to the door and disappeared. 

Sam returned to the officers carrying two beers.

“Your brother’s having some stomach troubles, huh?” Donna asked. 

“I dunno, probably” Sam said as he sat down. “I call his stomach the void.”

By the time Castiel returned Donna and Jody where supposedly too deep in conversation with Sam about his latest hunts to notice the angel slip by.

“Great” Dean said. “We’ll use the fine china to serve it on.”

“What does that look like?” Castiel asked.

“Any plate that doesn’t have a crack in it.”

Once Dean had done everything he could to make the food look home-cooked he and Castiel brought it upstairs.

“Here you go, ladies” Dean said. “I thought I’d go oriental tonight.”

“Mmm, smell’s delicious” Jody said with a small smile. “I love takeout, don’t you, Donna?”

“You betcha” Donna said as he picked up a spring roll. “I sure hope you boys weren’t trying to insult our intelligence.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it” Dean said sheepishly as he sank down in his chair.


	117. Chapter 117

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dearests! I could give you the usual million and one reasons why I haven’t updated in two months (there have just been some hard times), but I’m on summer vacation now so I’m hoping to pick things up. This rule comes from SupernaturalPhanGrrl. I hope you enjoy! Xx
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read/commented and everything else. Thank you if you have decided to stick through the hiatus; it all really means a lot xx 
> 
> (Also I totally had the scene about Hermione and Ron arguing about Crookshanks and Scabbers in mind when I wrote this XD)

**117\. No hellhounds allowed in the bunker; they chase cats! (Castiel)**

Dean and Sam returned to the bunker one afternoon to find it in chaos. 

Peanut and Butter were screeching as they kept running in and out of the room from different directions. The brothers could hear barking too but couldn’t pinpoint the source; it was unlikely to be Barkimedes since he could barely even grunt anymore.

On top of the cats going wild they were surprised to see Crowley stood in the middle of the room having a heated argument with Castiel. 

“Get your idiotic dog away from my innocent Sweetlings!” Castiel yelled.

“He’s just a puppy!” Crowley retorted. “He barely even has teeth! Besides, he’d see no point in eating those fuzz balls; their mere toothpicks. 

“Why did you even bring the mongrel!?”

“Protection! You and the blunder brothers aren’t exactly the most gratuitous hosts. Maybe Growley Juniors wouldn’t even be chasing those two toilet brushes if they hadn’t-”

“Guys!” Dean yelled above the ruckus. “What the hell is going on!?”

“Did you bring a hellhound in here?” Sam exclaimed with his voice going significantly higher than usual.

“He did” Castiel spat as he folded his arms firmly across his chest. “And it won’t leave my poor kittens alone! I swear if they get hurt I will take that hound of yours and deep fry and turn it into a hotdog!”

“Uh, Cas, that’s not how you make-“

“Dean!” Sam interrupted his brother. “Not important. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about the fact, oh, I dunno, there’s a freakin’ hellhound in our bunker!”

“He’s a pup” Crowley stressed. “He’s just playing.”

“Oh really? Then maybe you’d like to play with my angel blade-” Castiel said casually as he brought out the weapon and then stepped towards Crowley.

“Whoa, okay momma hen” Dean said as he placed a hand on Cas’ chest to hold him back.

“Dean they aren’t chicks they are cats, and I am not a hen I’m a-!” 

“Oh for god sake” Sam murmured to himself. “Crowley, do you have something for us or not!?” 

“Well I’m not telling you now” the demon pouted childishly. “Let’s go GJ!” he hollered down the hall.

They heard four paws pattering towards them but Castiel and the Winchesters couldn’t see anything.

Sam and Dean instinctively shuffled closer together so that they were stood shoulder to shoulder.

“Catch you later boys” Crowley grinned before disappearing.

Peanut and Butter came scampering down the hall too and headed straight to Castiel who knelt down to greet them.

“My poor little bundles of joy” Castiel cooed as he knelt down to scoop them up. The two cats immediately nuzzled into him. 

Sam and Dean shared a slightly disturbed look.

“How did they know they were being chased?” Sam asked with a frown. “Can…can cats see hellhounds?”

“Maybe” Dean said. His eyes widened as he had a sudden thougth. “Because they’re evil” he hissed. “I knew it.”

He took a few steps back when Castiel shot him an unimpressed look.


	118. Creepy Critter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! How are you all doing? This prompt is from Evangeline74. Thank you for reading and reviewing despite my long hiatus. Enjoy! X

**118\. You can intervene in the shower if there is also a cockroach inside it. (Dean Winchester)**

Dean liked things to be clean. He also liked to feel clean, hence why he had asked Sam to make sure he cleared all of his hippy dippy hair out of the shower before Dean used it. The shower was Dean’s sanctuary and he enjoyed nothing more than a refreshing wash after a long and gruelling hunt; he would not allow anything to get in the way of that. 

Therefore when he saw a large cockroach – one of the dirtiest little critters on the planet – scurry across the bottom of the tub Dean yelped and jumped higher than he didn’t think was possible. He scrambled out of the bath and watched with horror as the cockroach tried to climb up the side after him.

“Dean, are you alright?” Castiel called from the other side of the door. “I heard you scream.”

“I told you I don’t scream!” Dean shouted back as he quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and edged towards the door.

“Well then I heard you making manly intonations to express distress again” Castiel murmured back.

“Just get in here!” Dean pleaded with his voice a little higher than usual. 

“I can’t. The door is locked I’m not allowed to break them down anymore. Also I’m not allowed to get in the shower with you.”

Dean growled with frustration and backed up to the door so that he could unlock and open it to let Castiel in.

“What is the problem?” Castiel asked when he stepped into the room.

“Well I don’t want you to shower with me!” Dean exclaimed. “I want you to get rid of what’s in the shower.” 

Castiel’s eyes widened as he took a step back. “Is it a spider? Dean, I do not like spiders.”

“No, it’s a cockroach” Dean told him. “And you need to get rid of it because…cats are severely allergic to them” he lied. 

“Oh no” Castiel said, looking upset. “I can’t let Peanut and Butter get hurt.”

He went over to the bath and scooped the little creature up into his hands. 

“Okay, great” Dean rambled as he edged around Castiel until the angel was out the door. “You’re doing a good job, buddy.”

“Thank you, Dean” Castiel called as he went off down the hall.

As soon as he heard the door close behind him Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head.

He held up his cupped hands and peaked inside at the cockroach.

“He thinks that because I’m fairly new to earth that I was born yesterday. He forgets I’ve been around millions of years; certainly since you were created.”

He opened the door to Dean’s room and knelt down to put the cockroach on the floor.

“This will teach him for lying and insulting my intelligence.”


End file.
